space and skin

The first time I kissed him In an empty room with his hands Over my breasts and my back pressed on The walls And his mouth deep inside mine All I thought that all we’d ever be Is lustful

Then came the gazing days Over to the rushing cars, to the blinking stars And into each other’s eyes Burning like a thousand moons And all I questioned is, “Will ‘us’ be ever possible?”

Days rolled and we were holding hands Nah, tracing each other’s veins with Gentle fingers As if trying to tell him something I’m afraid To confess to myself As if gripping his palms tight would suffocate him Maybe he isn’t just ready

We were still childlike Screaming names and telling each other How we’d pin the other down and let ourselves be pleased Him Licking the colours off my lips Me Tracing my hands up his thighs Him Telling me how we have a spark Me Skipping a heart beat

Then came the days when he’d help open his car door Kiss my forehead when I cried Telling me it’s okay​, it’s okay to fall apart Once in a while And that I would always have his chest To fall back into Whenever it hurt too much

And as much as it scared me, One night One night, I confessed “I think I’m in love with you” Him “I forever was” And we knew, we were much more Much more than elevator make outs And end-of-school dirty jokes

We were a spark

After all, there were many things we could lose in a day. Within the blink of an eye. Instantaneously. And the list is insanely long. Everyone has something to lose to the void. Even the ones who say they don’t. So what is it that keeps us from going crazy when we lose it all? What is it that keeps us together at all? Is it addiction? Art, habits or passion? We’re all searching for something we can pour our hearts into. Something that will slice open our hearts and let our stories drip down like yolk. Trickle down like blood from the end of a scalpel.