CORINA

being bipolar is wild when you feel okay you feel like you’ve been faking the whole time when you’re depressed you forget you’ve ever felt anything different and when you’re manic the idea of you being mentally ill is absurd because you’re ready to fight god

You may make impulsive decisions, experience exaggerated emotions, or be annoyingly forgetful sometimes. ADHD is an ongoing battle. So, don’t judge yourself for feeling lost or not being able to connect with others. Be kind to yourself and keep common humanity in mind, knowing that nobody’s perfect. Your brain may work differently. But you deserve to feel loved, safe, and cared for like anyone else.

Self sabotage scares me because it’s subconscious. Your coping mechanisms can happen without your knowledge, the way you hear something can be subconsciously, the way you act can be subconsciously. Self sabotage could ruin relationships, friendships, etc because you haven’t learned to set boundaries or express your needs, express what you don’t like and do, be vulnerable because your brain is in the past and being aware is so scary. Being aware is only a part of healing, trying to reprogram a subconscious part of you is so difficult but it’s worth it because feeling this unaware is even worst than being aware. I suffered from self hatred for so long that I will not be doing that anymore. It’s 2022 and I choose to not be my enemy

You know what’s hurtful, that some people who take a while to process information like me could experience that some people just get annoyed at the fact that it takes us or me a while to process what was said. I could literally read a paragraph several times until I get it. It doesn’t matter if it’s right in front of my face, I CANNOT SEE IT until it just happens and I can (it’s confusing as f**k to my too and annoying). I am trying to work on it but until then, please be patient and understanding that we don’t like it either and living with it so hard for us but love will help us get better instead of shaming us

I’m not sure if this is related to BPD but it’s something I experience. It could be ADHD which I think it’s one of the symptoms and also I have an hearing disorder so oh happy day 🤡

I just want the healing process to be over. The relapses of thoughts of not feeling good enough, not wanting to do anything, just wanting to sleep for a week, curl into bed and cry because I can’t do this adulting thing. I really can’t do it anymore. It makes me cry so hard that this is my reality.

connecting to another person means understanding that they are human and capable of mistakes. understand that they have a shadow that needs to be acknowledged, as well as a lifetime of conditioning and programming to recognize and release. don’t idealize your partners, allow them humanity. 

i am tired. i am exhausted. from my head to my soul to my bones i am so fucking tired.