Lost in forever

So, hi, everyone.

I’ve been putting off posting this for a awhile, since I figured my follower count is mainly composed of inactive people anyway, but for anyone who’s still here and wondering where I went, I’m finally posting this and settling this once and for all.

I’m not really sure when I made this blog... early 2015, I guess? And back then I was really into Star vs. the Forces of Evil, and eventually I got into Gravity Falls and started posting graphics, but after that the time between my posts slowly got longer and longer to the point that I’d randomly post bursts of content between several months. I was going through a rough time and eventually broke down on here about it in February 2016, but I received a lot of support and encouragement in response and I decided that I’d begin posting more often and running my blog properly, like how I was super invested in doing so before.

But... during the summer of 2016 I tried to come back to this blog and start posting and interacting with my older fandoms again, and it went terrible. I just kind of ran into the wrong people, and the disaster of a fandom I walked into wasn’t filled with anything like the same open and friendly people I used to know. Everything felt so weird and messy and it messed with my anxiety, and then someone on here with a pretty big name ended up having a prejudice against me, and there were people actively calling me “fake” or “copy-cat” or telling me that I tried too hard because I liked to respond to asks with icons and use minimalist and aesthetic themes. I didn’t post any of the anons publicly, or really tell anyone what was going on for that matter, but... it was just awful, especially since I never kept up with my promise with posting regularly on here afterwards and I’ve never been somebody good at making friends because I was always putting up an image on here, and I let a lot of people down who were eager to interact with me and I kind of just abandoned them out of anxiety because I didn’t know what to say or do. 

For anyone who was around to see my my mentioned February crisis back in 2016, then they know I have a sideblog, and I’ve mainly moved there and have been active on it almost as far back as September 2015. Even since then, I've moved on and changed a lot as well, finally feeling more comfortable to be myself. 

To be honest, I’ve moved on completely from the person when I started on here or even the person I was back in the summer of 2016, and I’m not interested in Steven Universe or Star vs. the Forces of Evil and I almost have a resentment to being called a fan of those shows. I have newer interests and I’ve changed a lot.

I guess it’s pretty evident where I’m going with this, but to cut straight to it—this blog is going permanently inactive. When I mean that, I don’t mean I’m going to deactivate, but i mean I’m going to completely stop posting every few months and randomly checking in in general. I’m leaving this blog behind how it is completely.

That being said... this also means anyone who I have interacted with on here who aren’t a close friend of mine or have known/followed my sideblog already... please do not ask me for it. I won’t be giving it out. I’m incredibly sorry but I’ve just been awful in general and you guys deserve people who will be able to talk to your regularly without being anxious about it like I am. I also... want to break free from anything on this blog and sadly that means leaving behind a lot of different people.

I remember back during my mentioned February crisis (we’re bringing this up again lol), I had an anon send me a message about waiting for things to be ok and how they’d stick around until it did, and I still think about that message a lot and it’s really helped me feel better through the past year. Whoever had sent that, I’m incredibly grateful especially.It’s impacted me a lot more then a simple little encouragement. :’D