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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@cockpitguy
Please ask me about camo. Or learn about camo so we can talk about it. Together. 👫

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Technically I am a cis male. As in "male" is on my birth certificate. But I have a DSD; I'm intersex. So I grew up being perceived socially as female ever since I was in kindergarten, which caused me heavy bouts of dysphoria. Nobody told me I was intersex and I went most of my childhood thinking I was just like any other cis woman. And since I'll have to essentially transition from "female" (my developed female characteristics, being seen socially as female, etc) to male, I consider myself a trans man.
Trans people do not like this. They often say that it doesn't count for me because its "easier" (since people with DSDs and intersex people are binary trans' people's scapegoat, ie "cis people get gender affirming care" "lie about being intersex to avoid transphobia" etc etc my fellow intersex people know what I'm talking about, they don't want to admit that it really isn't easier for us).
They want their trans labels to be in neat little boxes with no variation; its easier to sympathize with someone that's more alike to yourself, and they want to be able to sympathize with all trans people because it makes them feel better about themselves, to be a self ally with no internalized transphobia whatsoever.
I've been called multiple things, transtrender, baedel, herm, chaser, wannabe, appropriator, futa, only ever by trans people. In fact I think I've met more cis people that are understanding and willing to learn about intersexuality and DSDs than trans people. For trans people a lot of the time it means they have to deconstruct gender binaries in their mind again, and they'd rather just stick to the current beliefs they feel safe in.
All of this to say that trans people are not immune to putting themselves in binary boxes, and that for a large amount of trans people, they treat transness as a better version of the pre-existing gender binary, one that makes them more palatable to leftist spaces, instead of a beautifully diverse area of human existence and culture.
It’s more comforting to convince yourself that all men are assholes then it is to face reality which is that your ex boyfriend wasn’t destined to become an asshole but for a variety of complicated societal and personal reasons he ended up that way anyways even though he could’ve chosen to not be an asshole
Your dad doesn’t suck because he’s a man. Sure, him being a man probably contributed to the various circumstances in his life that caused him to suck and believing that men are destined to suck gives you an easy to understand answer of why the world is this way but in reality your dad sucks for a variety of complicated reasons. You’re probably still justified in throwing ice water in his face and cutting him off but he didn’t drive you to that as an inherent extension of his manhood. He drove you to that because he personally sucks. A lot of men personally suck for a lot of complicated reasons but unfortunately there isn’t one universal easy to explain answer as to why that is.
Beaming this into the mind of every transman that was told they were going to start sucking because they were transitioning into manhood, or who was told the lie of "testosterone makes you aggressive and an asshole".
It stems from this. People who can recognize the pattern of being born a specific way contributing to the things you experience and then causing you to act one way later in life, but boiling it down to inherently being one way because of what you were born as.