"That's America's ass"

i. i’d touch that fire for you

It all started when you were peacefully sitting at your regular table in the Great Hall, talking to your friends about the newest gossip about a few of the prefects in the year below you. You prodded at the slice of your pumpkin pie, not too interested in the food as you were in the drama that seemed to be unfolding before your eyes.

But, to your demise, your gossip was cut short by a loud declaration of your name—wait, your name? No, this had to have been a joke. Right?

You slowly turned around in your seat to find Sirius Black standing right behind you, a bouquet of flowers magically appearing in his hands as soon as you locked eyes with him. He tossed his luscious hair over his shoulder and beamed brightly at you, gaining a few coos from the girls sitting around you. 

“My darling,” he began, “it would be an absolute honor if you would allow me to take you out on a date to Hogsmeade next Saturday. Would you fancy a trip down there with me?” It was probably the fanciest he had spoken since he had dinner with his whole extended family, and he could’ve only hoped that he could woo you over and finally gain your affections.

You, on the other hand, were not willing to fall for what was obviously supposed to be a prank. Why the four pranksters had chosen you, of all people, to be the butt of this prank, you would never know, but it didn’t mean you were to act clueless about it the whole time. 

“Go find someone else to prank, Black,” you muttered under your breath, sending your friends a confused look as you turned back to them. Only a few moments later, you felt the gentle tap of someone’s finger on your shoulder, causing you to turn around once more and look at the same boy that had now turned the bouquet into a three-tiered cake in a matter of seconds. You repeated yourself once more, “I’m not interested in your little jokes. It’s not something I look for in a person. But good job for trying.” You sent him a pitiful smile and returned to your conversation with your friends almost immediately, as if you were desperate to get out of the situation you found yourself in. You were desperate.

Sirius’ face fell as soon as you turned around, finally understanding that you were serious about everything you said. He just assumed you were playing hard to get. He didn’t think you saw it as some prank he was trying to play on you.

His dejected eyes met James’ soft, brown ones, only encouraging him to go even more all out compared to what he just did. It wasn’t the best idea, and both Remus and Peter could see it, but when Sirius was as enamored with someone as he was with you, it meant he was serious. Pun intended.

The raven-haired boy practically skipped over to his friends, James transfiguring the layered cake back into Remus’ water goblet and placing it in front of his friend. “We thank you for your sacrifice,” he spoke with no humor laced in his tone, causing the brunet to scrunch his nose up and return to the Muggle book he was currently reading; The Hobbit.

Sirius’s gaze flickered to the thick book in his friend’s hands, then shot up as if a bolt of lightning had struck him. “That’s perfect, Moony! My darling loves reading Muggle books! I’ve seen her with them in the library many times,” the boy exclaimed excitedly, bouncing around like a kid in a candy store.

“You go to the library? Willingly?” Peter questioned with his mouth full, earning a chastising smack to the back of his head.

Remus spoke up, “He’s trying to get her attention. We’ve got to give him some credit for that.”

“Thank you,” Sirius thanked the boy through gritted teeth, a bit peeved that one of his best friends had no faith in him. They had known of his crush on you for all of two months, and in all of his experiences with girls during his time at Hogwarts, he’d never been prepared for a feeling like the one you gave him. “Anyway, since you’re so invested in all your Muggle books, d’you think you could grab me one on your next visit to the Muggle bookstore?”

The three boys tried their hardest to look past Sirius’ flushed, pink cheeks as he requested a simple yet slightly embarrassing task. Peter and James shot each other a look before the latter leaned over the table with some brotherly advice hanging off the tip of his tongue.

“Just don’t be too annoying about it, Pads. You don’t have seven years for it to get less annoying like I had with Lily. Just, y’know, charm your way through it like you always do. I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

ii. long as you dreaming ‘bout me, ain’t no problem

The atmosphere of the Quidditch stadium was always tense, especially whenever it came time for Gryffindor to play against Slytherin. The stands were full of students boasting their house colors, strictly separated into hues of greens and reds. Linus Spinnett animatedly narrated the gameplay, throwing in a few jabs at the Slytherin players here and there. 

You watched as James and Sirius sped past you, side-by-side, unable to avoid their gazes. The latter called out your name, but you only ignored him and hid the bottom half of your face behind the scarf wrapped around your neck. He took a sharp turn and began spinning in small circles right in front of you in an attempt to get your attention, but you remained unbothered.

“Don’t you have better things to tend to, Sirius?” Your friend groaned from beside you, wrapping a comforting arm around your shoulders as she tried to shoo him away. “Go win the game, and maybe she’ll talk to you.” 

Planting a chastising hand on your friend’s bicep, you whispered through gritted teeth, “Don’t encourage him! He’ll have the wrong idea.” Before you could even turn to Sirius to correct your friend’s statement, he already flew away with a dopey grin plastered on his face. It only motivated him more throughout the game, the quaffle landing in his arms more than anyone has seen before. Even James was surprised. 

“Pads, what’s with you?” The Potter boy muttered, inching closer to his best friend. His eyes were trained on the bludgers being beaten around, but his complete focus was on his friend and his out-of-character actions. “I appreciate the need to win, but mate, don’t you think you’re being a bit harsh?”

Sirius took the time to look around at the stadium, his eyes landing on the three Slytherins clutching their arms, then at the scoreboard that showed Gryffindor leading by thirty-five points. “I’m being perfectly normal, Prongs. Thought you’d want to win.”

“I do, but–” James’ rebuttal was cut off by the sound of Linus’ voice echoing through the stadium, rejoicing in the Gryffindor seeker’s successful accomplishment.

“Berthia Thomas has caught the golden snitch! Gryffindor wins the game!” 

Sirius’ ears perked up at the exclamation, immediately soaring down to the young seeker and not-so-gently taking the snitch out of her hands. “Do you mind if I take this? No? Great, thanks!” The ends of his Quidditch robes chased closely behind him as he flew all the way up to the stands, meeting you with a smug grin. The golden, engraved ball sat peacefully in his hand, its wings flapping softly against his palm. “For you, my darling,” he smiled at you, offering the snitch like an olive branch in a peace offering.

You eyed the small object in his hand, then glanced up at the scoreboard with the teams’ respective points: Gryffindor, 220 and Slytherin, 70. With a heavy heart and a sharp glare at your friend beside you, you reluctantly took the golden snitch from his hand and held it between your thumb and your forefinger. 

Sirius felt a shiver climb down his spine at the feeling of your soft fingertips brushing against his calloused palm. Even the slightest touch between the two of you could make him melt. 

“Thank you, Black.” Your voice was almost as soft as your touch. Offering him a small smile, you ushered your friend away from the front row and pushed past the crowd that was now gawking at the supposedly sweet actions of the infamous Sirius Black.

But you didn’t want to fall for it. Everyone who attended Hogwarts, even the clueless first years, knew about them. Everyone who attended Hogwarts had either witnessed, experienced, or heard of their silly little pranks, and you were not one to be fooled so easily by them. 

With a fleeting glance, you looked back over your shoulder to see the boy’s figure slumped over the end of his broomstick, sadly looking down at the area of his palm where your fingers so happened to touch.

iii. i don’t got nobody, just with you right now

“Oh, come on! He’s practically courting you at this point! Just let him confess to you, and maybe you’ll see that he’s not trying to pull some elaborate prank on you!” Your friend lectured in the safe space of your dorm room, tugging on the collar of your sweater to try and knock some sense into you. 

You protested her points, “You say that as if he isn’t known for leading girls on and breaking their hearts. I don’t want to be another girl for him to add onto his list.”

“James has matured, look at him and Lily! I’m sure if you give him the chance–” “Have you seen him? Potter may have matured, but I’m not too confident in Sirius. He has to do more than just offer me a golden snitch or flowers or a three-tiered cake. Physical offerings do nothing to rid him of the reputation he’s been building for himself since first year. If he’s serious about fancying me, then he has to do something meaningful.” 

Before your friend could refute you any further, you looked at her with a heavy gaze to effectively quiet her. The two of you returned to the light gossip you were talking about prior to bringing up Sirius Black, and a few hours later, you both agreed to part ways so you could find a comfy spot in the library to study.

She dropped you off at the entrance on the way to her rendezvous with a Ravenclaw boy in your year, bidding you a curt goodbye before breaking out into what could be considered a skip through the long hallways of the castle.

You pushed through the doors and felt solace in the smell of the books and the soft rustling of students passing between the aisles. The librarian promptly gazed at you and offered a nod, to which you returned with a small smile. 

Gazing up at the tall shelves of books, you thought to yourself and began trying to think of which books you required for a successful study session for the evening. Your feet seemed to be leading you to the very back of the library, where you noticed the smallest flicker of yellow light behind a multitude of bookshelves. As you inched closer, your ears picked up the softest whispers being passed between what seemed to be two people.

You furrowed your eyebrows, wondering who could possibly study back here, where the bookshelves are impossibly closer to each other and leave no room for a singular person in the aisle, let alone two people to comfortably study. Grabbing a book off a random shelf to incriminate yourself less in case it was two students chatting about something not meant for curious ears, you pushed past the last row of books to find—

Sirius and Remus? In a rather spacious area, might you add. 

They sat at a table placed flush against the wall, a small candle being the only source of light besides the sunlight from the windows that barely reached the back of the library. It was a comfortable spot, albeit the many efforts it took to get past all the tight bookshelves. They hadn’t even noticed you at first, too engrossed in a piece of parchment they had placed onto the table. 

The two boys only noticed you when James had joined in, your eyes bulging out of their sockets when you watched him walk through a bookshelf. Well, it was supposed to be a bookshelf. You weren’t surprised that he had seemingly walked through a solid object, no. You’d done that plenty of times whenever you boarded or left Platform 9 ¾ throughout the years. You were left rather bitter that you put in all the effort to squeeze through all the stacks when you could’ve just walked through the bookshelf. Not that you would’ve known, though.

You looked up when James called your name. Sirius and Remus did, too. “When did you get in here? I would’ve noticed if you walked in,” the curly-haired boy frowned. 

“I, uh, wedged myself through those bookshelves. Didn’t know there was an actual entrance.” You jutted a thumb over your shoulder and pointed to the very compressed bookshelves. Feeling quite awkward in your current position, with James frowning at you (or more specifically, how you got in), Remus smiling softly at you, and Sirius staring at you, you shuffled closer to the exit. “I’ll see myself out, now. Sorry. I won’t tell anyone about this, either, if you’re worried about that.”

As soon as you stepped foot past the fake bookshelf, you heard Sirius whisper-shouting at James to bring you back into the secret space. 

“Wait!” He called out for you louder than he should have, quite possibly alarming the whole library of their whereabouts. With pursed lips, you swiveled on your heel and walked back through the bookshelf, shooting James a questioning look. “So, uh,” he repeatedly looked at you, then behind you, then at you again, “you said you went between those small gaps in the bookshelves?”

You nodded your head, unaware of how Sirius was urging the boy to keep the conversation going while Remus struggled to fish something out of his bag.

“We’ll have to seal that, then.” James spoke more to himself than to you.

Glancing over to the gaps, you spoke up once more. “And just so you know, the only reason I came back here was because I could hear Remus and Sirius whispering. You might want to look into that since you yelled rather loudly. Don’t want anyone else coming back here, do you?”

At your revelation, James immediately turned to his two friends with his eyes blown wide. You then heard a whispered chorus of “You didn’t cast it? I thought you did! Well, I didn’t cast it!” and before they could say much more, you lifted your wand and silently casted Muffliato around the whole area. 

Sirius looked at you with more admiration in his eyes than ever before. He was practically looking at you with heart eyes, as if you were all the stars in the world joined together into one girl. 

“Also, those gaps are wide enough to be peeked through. You might want to seal it up or put some charm on it so that no prying eyes look through.” The bell of the clock tower rang and bounced around the castle walls, almost as if cueing you to leave. “Well, that’s where I take my leave. And I stick by what I said earlier. I won’t speak a word of this.”

Finally leaving, you walked through the exit and shuffled through the aisle, only to be caught by the wrist. You looked over your shoulder to find Sirius smiling cheekily at you, holding a book in his hands. You turned around, a bit uncomfortable at how your arms harshly grazed at the wood of the bookshelves on either side of you. They were much more spacious compared to the shelves on the other side, but it still left little room for two people to be standing together.

He held the book up to you, allowing you to read the cover. “I bought this for you. I know you’ve been wanting it for a while,” he offered, gently putting it in your hands. “I also wanted to let you know that I didn’t conjure it up or anything. I bought it with my own money and all. If that means anything to you.” Bringing a hand up to his nape, he shyly rubbed at it as he watched your eyes dart from the book to his face.

Your mind was running at unfathomable speeds, trying to figure out how Sirius Black, of all people, found out how you wanted that specific book. You only told two people about it, and you and Lily had only spoken about it today in the confines of your N.E.W.T.-level Potions and Arithmancy classes, neither of which you shared with any of the Marauders. It wouldn’t have been enough time for Sirius to go out and buy it himself, if you were to trust his word on it.

That only left—Remus. You were quietly discussing it in Transfiguration while Professor McGonagall was helping a struggling student. The both of you had already completed the task as soon as she assigned it, so you turned to each other and talked about your shared love for Muggle books. Merlin, you felt so stupid. You thought he would respect your wishes of not wanting to be bothered by Sirius, but apparently not. “Remus,” you whispered lowly, quiet enough for the boy standing before you to barely hear what you said.

“What?” Sirius’ face flushed. “No, no. Moon—Remus didn’t have anything to do with it. Well, not really. But I bought this because I overheard you telling him about it in Transfiguration last week.” 

You brushed away the odd nickname for Remus and visibly relaxed, hesitantly hugging the book to your chest. “I see. Well, in that case, I’ll use this book well. Thank you, Sirius.” Turning around and walking away, you spared no time exiting the library with the book in your hands, leaving the raven-haired boy to celebrate. 

You had accepted his gift and called him by his first name! Two wins in a row!

iv. how can i snooze and miss the moment?

Surprisingly, Sirius had left you alone for the past three days. You hadn’t seen a day without him at least trying to court you, but for some reason, it was as if he’d turned into a ghost. It wasn’t like you minded, but it felt odd. Unnatural, even. 

When it came nighttime, and you’d officially been left alone for three whole days, you decided to take a walk down to the Black Lake. You wanted to be left alone with your thoughts, the cool breeze of wintertime nearing, and the glimmering light of the full moon. The sound of a wolf howling flew past your ears, but you paid it no mind as you knew you were safe. There was no such thing as a werewolf on school grounds, it was impossible. You’ve had some suspicions in the past, but they can’t have been true.

Your hands plucked at the blades of grass beneath you, feeling the lush plant life beneath you. You had found a spot against a tree facing the lake and watched peacefully as the ripples of the water distorted the mirrored image of the moon and the trees around it. 

Twigs snapped behind you, and your right hand flew to your coat pocket where your wand lie, but you were just taking precautions. It was probably just some other student wandering around after curfew, too. Everything would be just fine. 

After half an hour of thinking to yourself, the sounds of the nature around you were becoming more stressful than relaxing. With a cautious step to the side and a meek glance past the thick tree trunk, you slowly made your way away from the Black Lake and towards the castle. 

The faded footpath beneath you had turned into a muddy walkway long before you began attending Hogwarts, but it still felt unsettling. The canopy of the tall trees blocked the moonlight shining down on you, and their rustling leaves became ominous rather than peaceful. 

Your hand remained snug in your coat pocket, feeling the wood of your wand against your palm. The howling wolf that was once far, far away now sounded impossibly close to you, and the multiple twigs snapping all around you caused you to grip your wand even tighter. “Hello? Is anybody there?”

No response. More twigs snapped. The ground beneath you began to shake.

“Hello? This isn’t funny! If this is supposed to be a prank, then cut it out!”

Still no response. 

And then, out of nowhere, an earth-shattering growl echoed from right behind you. You turned slowly, pulling your wand out of your pocket in a fearful manner. Coming face-to-face with a werewolf, you realized all your reassurances of it being impossible were wrong. And you were about to die.

Pointing your wand at the creature, you looked into its eyes. They seemed familiar. Comforting, even. But this was a werewolf, and they were monstrous creatures, according to your Defense of the Dark Arts teacher. You took a small breath and shakily held your wand up.

Just before you could cast a spell in its face, you got pushed to the side. You fell back against a tree with a wince, watching as a stag headbutted the werewolf in the chest with its antlers. “What the—” Your words were cut short by the feeling of something harshly tugging at the hem of your coat, successfully dragging you away from the scene. A yelp left your lips, your fingertips clawing at the ground in an attempt to escape whatever wrath you were facing now.

Looking down, you found a black dog pulling you by its sharp teeth, its eyes boring into you like you’d known each other before. You stopped trying to escape. You just let everything happen as you stared back down at the dog. ‘What was so familiar about these animals,’ you asked yourself, unaware of the werewolf bounding after you. 

It had gotten past the stag, which was nowhere to be seen. You assumed you were going delusional. The werewolf, still familiar as ever, picked you up and growled, your wand now in your hand as you prepared to cast as many offensive spells as you could. Incantations left your mouth as quickly as you’ve ever casted before, but they did nothing to stop your impending doom. 

The most you did was a large gash along the creature’s arm, but the injury only aggravated it more. Lifting you up as high as it could, the werewolf threw you to the ground as you braced for impact, feeling your body hit the ground just before you blacked out.

When you woke up, you found yourself in one of the infirmary beds with Madame Pomfrey tending to your injuries. Your collarbone was shattered, and you received a few cuts on your cheek, but it was nothing the lady couldn’t fix. You were only in the infirmary for observations and precautions. 

As soon as she stepped away, you were met with the embarrassed smiles of James, Sirius and Remus all on infirmary beds opposite of you. “Wha—why are you three here?” You questioned suspiciously, examining each of their injuries for ones similar to the wounds you saw on the creatures the night prior.

James had bandages wrapped around his ribcage and an ice pack on his head. Sirius had multiple gashes along his side and a cast on his left hand. Remus had the most wounds of them all: a large scratch along his cheek, a deep cut on the side of his head, a bandage wrapped around both his forearms, a cast on his right foot, and a gash on his bicep.

Wait, a gash on his bicep?

“It was you, wasn’t it?” You spoke quietly, finally realizing why Remus always disappeared whenever it came time for a full moon and why James and Sirius always missed classes the day after. “James, y—you were the stag. Sirius, you were the dog, weren’t you? And Remus, oh, Merlin,” you gasped softly, remembering all the painful spells he must have had to endure from your wand. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve known.”

The lanky boy shook his head, “No, there was no way of you knowing.” He tried to reassure you even though they all knew it become more obvious every month. “And if you’re concerned about the spells, I’m fine. I got more wounds from these gits than from whatever you casted.”

“Only if you’re sure,” you muttered softly, eyebrows furrowed from the concern for someone you hoped to consider a friend. In fact, you hoped to consider all of the Marauders friends. It was obvious they’d matured from the pranksters they used to be in their younger years, and you were frankly relieved to find out that they were as bad as you thought they were. 

You didn’t seem to notice how Sirius looked at you like you held the earth up with your bare hands, and if you did notice, you didn’t mention it. You kept your focus on Remus, his terrible injuries, and how he seemed to be unfazed by them. You felt horrible.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Remus said lightly, as if reading your mind. “I know what you’re thinking. You don’t have to feel bad. I’m used to it at this point.” Opening your mouth to explain how that was why you felt bad, the boy shot you a look and spoke your name chastisingly. You stayed quiet for a while.

“Sirius?” You called out for the boy in the bed directly in front of you. He reacted far too quickly and far too eager to not be embarrassed, but you ignored his actions and spoke up once more. “Why did you save me? You could’ve helped James with Remus.”

The boy pushed himself up so he could sit properly with his back leaning against the headboard of the bed. He ignored the sharp pain in his hand and shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. “Couldn’t let you die before the Hogsmeade trip. Speaking of that, since I saved your life and all, I think it’d be a great opportunity to repay me by being my date to Hogsmeade?” Sirius’ statement came out as more of a question. His shoulders were tense and his breathing became rapid, though he wouldn’t admit to anyone how easily you could break down all the confident walls he’d built up. 

“I would’ve rather died, then,” you joked. 

“Ah, then I’d just have to save you all over again.”

“I don’t doubt it.”

Sirius beamed brightly at you. “Is that a ‘yes’ to Hogsmeade?” 

Shaking your head at him, you let out a small chuckle. “We’ll see.”

While you and Sirius playfully bantered back and forth across the infirmary, James leaned over to find Remus smirking right back at him.

“Are they flirting?” The curly-haired boy mouthed to his friend. 

“It seems like it.” Remus mouthed back, a smile tugging on his lips.

“I bet five galleons we catch them snogging after Hogsmeade.”

Remus smirked between you and Sirius, still too engrossed in your conversation to notice what was going on around you. “I bet you ten galleons we’ll catch them snogging as soon we get released from here.”

“Deal.”

v. you just too important

After you got released, you returned to your classes like usual and dodged the multiple questions your friends asked daily. You only brushed them away when you couldn’t come up with a sorry excuse as to why you ‘suddenly started talking to Sirius Black,’ but you always told them the most extravagant lies you could string up when you had the chance. 

The more time you spent talking to each other, the more you realized why all the girls dropped to their knees at the chance of being with him, even if it was just for one night. The more time you spent talking to each other, the more you realized that you were starting to fall for him. And it scared the hell out of you.

You even tried avoiding him when you first came to the realization that your feelings for Sirius were more than simply platonic, but your efforts only lasted a day before the boy sought you out and annoyed you until you were forced to give in. 

So, as the days went by, you became closer and closer. And your feelings for each other became stronger and stronger. This time, though, you didn’t want to fight it. Not at all.

“Darling,” Sirius called out in his usual sing-songy tone as he strode into the Gryffindor common room. He ignored all the odd looks he received from the others and grinned once he found your figure next to the fireplace, entertaining a first year by feeding the flames a few old textbook pages. “Ah, there you are! Remus and I were looking for you!”

You smiled softly at the sound of the boy’s voice, but you didn’t turn around to let him see how he’s finally broken down your walls. “Did you need me, Siri?” 

The new use of the nickname might have made Sirius scream his lungs out if he wasn’t in public and wasn’t still actively trying to hide that he was terribly in love with you. Instead, he only stared at you with a lovesick expression plastered onto his features, causing you to scrunch your nose up at the lack of a response.

You turned your head to look up at the boy, your doe eyes only pulling him in even more. “Sirius? Are you okay?” Chuckling awkwardly as he continued his intense, locked gaze on you and your pretty face, you redirected your attention to the equally awkward first year sitting beside you. “Well, if you’re going to stare, then you might as well sit down, yeah?”

Almost immediately, the raven-haired boy fell to the ground and sat crisscrossed, politely placing his hands in his lap as he watched you speak quietly to the young girl, her body relaxing when you placed a comforting hand on her. It was weird to have Sirius just staring at you in the beginning, but after a while, it was like he wasn’t even there. All he did was observe and listen.

He observed how you smiled gently at the girl whenever she spoke up in her small voice. He observed how your eyes lit up with fondness whenever you felt her touch. He observed how she leaned into you without hesitation when you offered to braid her beautiful, light brown hair. He observed how amazing you were with people younger than you, with kids. And he sure as hell observed how you would be a great mother and how he so desperately wanted to make y—well, that was a thought for another day.

Your gentleness was so endearing to him, it only made him fall for you more than he already had, if that was even possible.

Peter, who had been watching the interaction from afar, seemed to have had enough of the lingering tension and opportunities that weren’t acted upon. He wasn’t as aware of the whole situation as Remus and James were, but he was smart enough to piece all the little details together and figure out that both you and Sirius were too scared and were just waiting for the other to make a major move.

So, the boy took the situation into his own hands and dragged his friend away by the collar, taking him up to their dorm room despite the many, many efforts (albeit weak) made by the stronger boy. 

“Wormtail,” Sirius whined as soon as he heard the door shut. He pretended like he didn’t know what was going on, but in reality, he was grateful that Peter inserted himself into the situation before the pining became too strong. “Why’d you bring me up here?”

“You know why,” the boy hummed as he scoured through his bedside drawers, looking for his stash of food he always had stocked up. “She likes you. A lot. And Pads, if you don’t make a move on her now, who knows who’ll be there to take her away from you. I know how you feel about her, she knows how you feel about her, and practically everyone else at Hogwarts knows how you feel about her, so just snog her already!”

To Sirius’ surprise, as soon as his friend found the box of chocolates, he didn’t take any for himself and instead walked straight out of the dorm room. The blond boy walked down the curved stairs of the tower and found you sitting in the same spot you were in before he dragged Sirius away. 

As soon as you laid your eyes on him, you furrowed your eyebrows and beckoned him over. “Peter, did something happen with Sirius?”

“Ah, perfect! I was just coming to find you. Pads says he doesn’t want to eat, and I was thinking that if you offered him some chocolates instead of me, he might want to eat them. He hasn’t eaten the whole day.” The boy was speaking out of his ass, but he was tired of your unbearable pining, and frankly, so was everyone else.

You furrowed your eyebrows, confused by the sudden shift in character, but you shrugged your shoulders and took the box out of Peter’s hands. Patting the first year’s shoulder, you bid her goodbye and explained your task to her, pushing yourself off the ground and following the blond boy up to his dorm room.

The light box sat in your hands as you watched him rap his knuckles against the door, backing up until he stood behind you. The two of you patiently waited for Sirius to open the door, and as soon as he did, you felt Peter’s hands on your shoulders. Before you knew it, you had fallen directly into Sirius’ arms, effectively pushing the both of you back into the dorm room while the door shut behind you. 

The box of chocolates fell from your hands, but it was the least of your concerns when your front was pressed against Sirius’ chest and your faces were centimeters away. 

“Oh, um, I—“ you stammered, placing your hands on his chest to gently push him away.

Sirius, on the other hand, had other plans. He wrapped his arms around your waist with a smirk, his eyes flickering down to your lips every few seconds as he spoke. “You know I fancy you, right?” You only nodded at his question, but your flustered expression was enough to encourage him further. “And I fancy you a lot. Like, a lot, darling.”

Your inability to hold eye contact with him may have been embarrassing to you a month ago, but right now in his arms, you could care less. He spoke softly to you, his gaze filled with awe. He made you feel loved, despite all your past thoughts about him and his attempts to get you to go out on a date with him. 

Sirius’ voice grew impossibly quieter as he looked into your eyes. “Please tell me you like me, too.” 

Looking at his pleading expression and the way his lips just looked a bit too tantalizing with the way he bit it while awaiting your response, you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in until your lips collided.

It felt like fireworks, the way his lips moved perfectly with yours. It was like nothing you had ever experienced before. Granted, you were never too occupied when it came to your love life, but Sirius was the best kisser you’d ever come across. His hands were planted on the small of your back, bringing your body even closer to his, and your hands raked through his luscious hair.

Pulling away and ignoring the small complaint that left his lips, you smiled at the boy, “Yes, I like you too, Sirius.”

Despite the fact that you had just kissed him, his eyes still lit up brighter than you had ever seen before. “Really? Are you serious?”

“No,” you laughed, the teasing glint in your eyes telling him exactly what you were about to say next. “You’re Sirius.”

He threw his head back and groaned at the joke, “Merlin, you’re perfect.” And then he pulled you in once more. 

The kiss, this time, was more heated, more intense than the first. It was hungrier, with your lips mashing together and your teeth clashing. But it was still filled with love. Filled with the thing Sirius had fought for when he approached you that day in the Great Hall. Filled with the thing he was desperate to gain when he offered you that golden snitch after his Quidditch game. Filled with what he hoped to receive when he bought you that Muggle book you were obsessing over. And most importantly, filled with the very thing that took over when he saw you at the Black Lake, terrified of what would happen if he lost you. 

You were both so engrossed in the kiss that you didn’t even notice the door creaking open. James, Remus and Peter peeked through the small crack to find you and Sirius all over each other, your hands tangled in his hair and his hands inching lower. 

You had met Owen - the aforementioned dick of a boyfriend - at work about six months ago. Jamie had never been able to understand what you saw in him. Owen was rude, dismissive, and worst of all, utterly disrespectful of you. He mocked your interests, damaged your self-esteem with his 'opinions' on how you dressed and did your hair, and he especially didn’t approve of you having male friends - though thankfully, you were pretty adamant about keeping your friendships, but it did cause a lot of arguments that would often leave you crying on Jamie’s shoulder. 

Jamie always tried his best to be polite to Owen, even if deep down he hated the guy. He was sure he’d never disliked someone more in his entire life. You deserved to be treated like a princess, and Owen didn’t seem to appreciate how lucky he was to have been chosen by you. Dave often urged Jamie to make a move, but he didn’t want to be one of those weird guys who hit on their female friends. He worried that it would make you think that he’d only befriended you to try and get in your pants, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. When the two of you had met, Jamie was still mourning the disappearance of his wife, Layla, but his feelings of friendship for you slowly turned into romantic ones when he realised how sweet you were, and suddenly he realised you were the most beautiful woman in the world to him. He’d been sure he’d never move on from Layla, but you were the first person to make him want to try again.

But unfortunately, it was Owen that you liked, and not Jamie. All he could do was be a supportive friend and comfort you when you and Owen had yet another fight, but you’d always end up going back to him. It hurt Jamie to see you do that. Even if you didn’t come to the sudden realisation that you loved him, Jamie wanted to see you with someone who would make you happy, rather than someone who reduced you to tears every other week.

When he got your text saying that you and Owen had cheated on you and the two of you had broken up, Jamie couldn’t believe what he was reading. Cheating was a pretty evil thing to do in Jamie’s book as it was, but why the fuck would anyone ever cheat on you? You were smart, sweet, funny… as well as completely gorgeous - the whole package, really. Your only real flaw in Jamie’s eyes was that you didn’t see how wonderful you were (and that was probably part of the reason you ended up dating such a toxic nightmare). What he wouldn’t give to be able to tell you how amazing and beautiful he thought you were… but it would probably come off as weird, since you were just friends and you’d never expressed any romantic interest in him.

It was only about half an hour til the bank shut when Jamie got your text. You were probably the one of the only things in the world Jamie cared about more than his precious routine, so he asked someone else to close up for the night and left in a hurry. He made a quick trip to the shops to buy a tub of your favourite ice-cream - hoping to bring a smile to your face - and then headed straight to your house, knocking on your door and nervously fidgeting with his tie until you answered.

"Thought you might need this," Jamie said when you opened the door, your tear-stained cheeks making his heart ache. You were already wearing pyjamas despite the fact that it was only just after 6.30pm, so you were obviously going through a bit of a spiral. He couldn’t blame you for that after what had happened today.

"Thanks," you sniffled, taking the tub from Jamie’s hands and bringing him inside. You shut the door behind him, and went to place the ice cream on the table before moving back to give Jamie a hug. When you rested your head on his shoulder, he felt his heart melt. It took every ounce of his willpower to not press a gentle kiss to your forehead or run his fingers through your hair. He just wanted to hold you and make you smile again, but after a few moments you pulled away and he couldn’t help but mourn the loss of your body pressed against his. "I wasn’t expecting you to come over so quickly. You’re the best."

"It’s no problem." Jamie’s cheeks flushed a little when you called him 'the best', but he was happy that you didn’t seem to notice. He watched as you walked to the kitchen and grabbed a spoon so that you could start eating the ice cream he’d bought you straight from the tub. When you took your first mouthful of the ice cold dessert, your eyes did brighten ever so slightly. Mission accomplished, he thought to himself. "You’re going through something horrible, and it’s the least I can do as your friend."

"You remembered my favourite ice cream flavour," you mused, and Jamie followed you into the living room so you could sit side by side on the sofa. Then, you stabbed your spoon into the ice cream once again so you could scoop some more out.

"Of course I did." That was a pretty basic thing to remember about someone you’d been close friends with for years, Jamie thought.

"Owen never would have remembered something like that." You released a long, deep sigh of exasperation, looking like you were about to start ranting. Jamie didn’t mind. He knew that you would definitely need to vent after everything that had happened, and besides… he thought you were cute when you started rambling. Ugh, he was so sappy. "He never remembered anything about me. Honestly, I’m surprised he even remembered my name most days."

For the next few minutes, you spoke at length about all of Owen’s flaws. Honestly, it was refreshing to see you speaking your mind about him like this. In the midst of all of you and Owen’s fights while you were still dating, you would blame yourself for all of your relationship issues, no matter how many times Jamie tried to convince you that it wasn’t your fault. So Jamie didn’t interrupt - except to quietly agree with your assessment of the situation - and allowed you all the time you needed to get things off your chest.

"And this is a bit of a TMI, but he was really selfish in bed. Like he did not care whether I enjoyed myself or not. So good luck to that girl I caught him with. Hope she’s good at faking orgasms." You laughed dismissively, and then ate another spoonful of ice cream.

Jamie’s face flushed slightly, partially because of your use of the word orgasm, but mostly because he was trying not to think about the fact that if he had a chance with you, he’d do everything he could to make sure you were satisfied, and— yeah, he needed to not think about that, otherwise he’d have an embarrassing problem on his hands, and he didn’t want to humiliate himself in front of you. Then, what you’d actually said - apart from the bit about sex - sunk in. You’d actually caught Owen with another woman? "Do you, uh… do you want to talk about what happened?" he asked, both because he wanted you to talk about what happened for your own good, but also because it would distract him from thinking about… well, satisfying you. "Only if you feel comfortable."

You sighed again, but this time you sounded tired, defeated. "There’s not much to tell, I suppose…" You dropped your spoon into the tub of ice cream. It seemed like you were all out. Jamie internally scolded himself for not getting you a bigger tub. "I went over to his flat because we’d had lunch plans earlier, and he’d stood me up. Turns out he’d forgotten about me because he was too busy shagging some other woman. I walked in on them in bed together."

Jamie noticed your eyes starting to well with tears as you recalled the story, so he put his arm around you. You seemed to be comforted by the gesture and rested your head on his shoulder again, melting Jamie’s heart once more. God, you were so precious, but he couldn’t think about that right now. You needed a supportive friend, not an idiot fawning over you.

"When they saw I’d walked in, the woman quickly got dressed and left. Once she was gone, Owen and I ended up having another fight." Your voice had begun to get a bit shaky, another sign that you might start crying. Jamie wanted to nip that in the bud - seeing you cry was honestly a heart-shattering sight - but it was what you said next that truly confused him. "When I asked him why he’d cheated, he said that he had every right because I’d cheated first."

"What?" Jamie asked, utterly baffled. That did not sound like you at all, and even if you had cheated, Jamie probably would have known about it already since he was your closest friend and you told him pretty much everything.

"That’s what I said! Then he was like 'Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about', and when I asked him to explain he said 'Don’t pretend that there’s not anything going on between you and that Jamie guy'…" You’d cleaned up what Owen had actually said, since he hadn’t used such kind words to refer to Jamie and you didn’t want him hearing such horrid things being said about him.

Oh Jesus Christ… Jamie thought to himself, his heart pounding fast inside of his ribcage. Owen had actually thought that you and him had some kind of secret affair going on? He couldn’t help but feel like everything you’d gone through today was his fault, since Owen had believed he was justified in cheating because you apparently had already cheated… with him! That was when Jamie realised that you were still talking, and that he should probably get back to listening.

"He said 'Obviously you’re shagging him, because why else would he be hanging around you? It’s not like you’ve got anything else to offer,' and that’s when I told him it was over and I left. Then I came back home and texted you." You took a deep breath, having got to the end of your story. Well, there was something else that you’d wanted to say, but you weren’t sure whether now was the right time.

That certainly had been a lot. Jamie hardly knew what to say. "He’s a dick," was what he settled on saying, and he heard you let out a little riffle that made his heart flutter.

"Yeah, he is," you agreed, and Jamie could tell from your voice that you were smiling.

There was a long silence after that, with you still resting your head on Jamie’s shoulder. It felt so right sitting there with you like that, so close with his arm around your shoulder. It was like this was how things were meant to be. That was probably what possessed Jamie to say what he said next. "You know, I never thought Owen was good enough for you," he said softly, tilting his own head to the side and resting it on top of yours. You didn’t make any attempt to move away, so he assumed you were fine with it.

"I always thought that he was a dick, and he never treated you properly. You deserve someone who remembers your lunch plans and cares about whether you get off or not." He usually wouldn’t just come out and say something like that so plainly, but he was just speaking his mind now and wasn’t thinking too much about how he actually said things. "And you definitely deserve someone who doesn’t go around shagging other women just because he got jealous over something that wasn’t true—"

"It… wasn’t entirely untrue…" you replied, and Jamie sat up straight so that he could look at you.

"What… what do you mean?" Jamie’s heart began to race. Surely you didn’t mean what it sounded like you meant, right? He took a breath to try and keep himself calm, and it annoyed him how shaky it was.

"I mean, I… I have always had a bit of a crush on you…" You admitted, and Jamie was sure that he was dreaming or he was in a coma or something. There was absolutely no way that this was real. He felt you take your head off his shoulder and he looked at your face to try and determine whether you were joking or not.

You were blushing. Did that mean...? "A crush... a crush on me...?" Jamie asked softly, like the idea of anyone - let alone you, the most wonderful person in the world - having a crush on him was absolutely unthinkable.

"Yes, Jamie. I have a crush on you. A big one." You couldn't help but smile. You'd been unsure for a while whether Jamie felt anything beyond friendship for you, but his frankly adorable reaction to you telling him how you feel seemed to confirm that he did. "I have for years."

Jamie's face went completely red, and he was beginning to worry that he was going to faint. "You... you never said anything," he managed after a few moments of stammering uselessly, his cheeks feeling like they were on fire.

Of course you hadn't said anything! You'd been under the impression that the man was pining for his missing wife since the two of you had met. "I guess... I thought I wasn't good enough for you," you said with a shrug, not wanting to bring up the whole Layla situation if you didn't have to. Before you even had the chance to open your mouth to continue speaking, Jamie was talking again.

"You're not good enough for me?" Jamie shook his head, in complete disbelief. "Love, you're so far out of my league I feel ridiculous even fantasising about you.."

You couldn't help but giggle softly - both at Jamie calling you 'love', and him admitting that he'd fantasised about you. "You fantasise about me a lot, then?" It was hard to resist teasing him, especially when his cheeks flushed like that.

"I... uh..." Jamie rubbed the back of his neck nervously, unable to believe he'd just come out and said something like that to you, especially when you'd only just admitted you liked him. God, he was such an idiot sometimes. He knew that he should say something, do something, anything other than just sit there frozen, but he was at a complete loss.

Luckily, you seemed to know exactly what needed to be done.

The sound that escaped Jamie when he finally felt your lips against his was one of both contentment and relief. It just felt so... right. Like all of those years thinking that he wasn't good enough for you just melted away in an instant. Jamie brought his hands up to cradle your face as you kissed, stroking his thumbs against your cheekbones.

Thomas Thorne is, if nothing else, a complete slut for praise — especially if it comes from you — and he’s willing to do pretty much anything and everything he can in order to earn it (be that something expected of him like composing some poetry in your honour, or spending hours buried between your thighs in order to make you see stars whilst your hands are buried in his hair)

Whenever you call him your ‘good boy’ (or even anything vaguely complimentary like ‘poetic’, ‘pretty’, ‘handsome’ and the like) his cheeks turn a lively shade of pink and he practically stumbles over himself as he makes sure that he’s heard you correctly

(‘you think so?’, ‘truly?’, ‘do you mean that?’)

The best way to leave him completely speechless is to gently brush his hair out of his eyes, caress the sides of his face, kiss his nose and call him your ‘good boy’ and then walk away as if nothing just happened — of course he’ll be following you around like a lost puppy for the rest of the day, but for those first few minutes he’ll be left flustered, blushing and frozen in place as his mind struggles to catch up with what exactly just happened

Within the confines of the bedroom, there is always room to take advantage of your beloved’s praise kink to get him to do whatever you want him to do — but for the sake of brevity I’ll only list a few such examples

When you’re riding his cock, gently tug his hair until his throat is completely exposed to you and then start to kiss and nip at it — whispering about how he’s such a ‘good boy’, how ‘amazing’ he feels inside of you, and how much you ‘love’ his ‘pretty noises’ against the skin of his neck between kisses (and if you suckle on his pulse point, even after his death, you’ll be able to hear the softest little whimper spill from his lips)

When he’s laying between your legs pleasuring you with his mouth, stroking your thighs as they fall over his shoulders, brush his hair away from his face and call him ‘beautiful’ and ‘handsome’ as he licks/sucks you, and tell him exactly where to kiss, and lick, and suck — encouraging him by fluffing his hair and saying things like ‘good boy’, ‘keep going’, ‘just like that’, and so on (bonus points if you’re quite vocal and make plenty of noise for him because that only encourages Thomas to go further and make a complete mess of you — and, consequently, of him but he’s not one to care about getting some dust/cum on his face if it means that he’s made his love feel good)

When you have his length filling your mouth and his hands trembling as he tries his best not to squeeze your shoulders too hard, make sure to scratch at his thighs and lower stomach with your nails and keep looking up at him through your eyelashes — occasionally pull away to press a kiss to his hand or length and whisper about how much you love him (how he sounds, all he does for you, how he looks, and, of course, his dick) and tell him how good he’s being for you, and by the end of it he’ll be half-whimpering, half-sobbing your name over and over again like some sort of prayer until he gets dust/cum all over your face and chest

In short, combining small amounts of pain with praising Thomas for his actions and appearance are going to be the most effective way to get him into sub space in the bedroom — especially if you use the words ‘good boy’ often during your praise because he’s always yearning for your specific approval and that title, however foreign to the time period he grew up in, is something he almost seems to wear as a badge of honour when you’re together

Then, you made another one of your little snarky comments and he lost it. Honestly, he hadn’t even heard what you said, but it was in that tone that you always used when you were mocking him, and it made him see red. Before you knew it, he had you pinned against the wall, his gloved hand around your throat - he wasn't applying any pressure just yet, this was more of a warning. But for some reason, all of his anger left him when he looked into your eyes, and was replaced by a burning lust like he’d never felt before.

Right now, you looked completely different. Rather than the usual sneer you had on your face when you looked at Ariel, you looked so submissive and sweet, and most importantly, you were quiet. After all of these weeks of arguing and bickering, Ariel found himself wanting you, and he had a feeling you felt the same way.

When he crashed his lips against yours, you found yourself letting out cute little whimpers as you tried your best to kiss him back with just as much enthusiasm as he was displaying. One hand was still resting on your throat while the other slipped into the front of your shorts and panties. Even while he was wearing gloves, he could tell how wet you were. He wondered whether it was him pinning you to the wall with his hand around your throat was what got you going, or if you had some sort of kink for bickering with him, but it didn't really matter. Ariel wanted you, and you quite obviously wanted him.

"You're such a slut," he growled into your ear, biting the shell of it before moving his lips to your neck to begin leaving countless love bites there. You opened your mouth to retaliate, but your mind went blank and all that came out was an embarrassing whimper when Ariel began moving his fingers against your clit. He laughed darkly against your skin, before he pulled away to look at your face - all needy and desperate for him. "If only I'd known how easy it was to keep you quiet, I would have put you in your place weeks ago."

As he toyed with your clit, Ariel brought his other hand back to your neck, and began to apply a little pressure. You whimpered again and squirmed, your thighs trembling slightly. He couldn't keep the smirk off his face as he watched you, and before long, he knew that he needed to do more than just tease you.

Ariel pulled his hand from your shorts, ignoring your little noises of protest, and grabbed you by the wrist to pull you over towards the sofa - where you'd been forced to sleep ever since Ariel took you - at the other end of the room. He pushed you and you went willingly, falling onto your back on the sofa with him looking down at you, like a predator looked at its prey. It took only a few seconds for him to remove your clothes. You didn't even have time to protest when a few of the buttons got ripped off your shirt, or the fact that he tore your soaked panties off of you, now too damaged to be worn again. It didn't matter though, because you found yourself not caring pretty soon afterwards.

Getting onto the sofa so that he was kneeling in front of where you were laying down, he spread your thighs with his large hands. Ariel let out a groan when he saw how wet you were for him - sure he'd felt it before, but seeing it was a whole different story. He knew that he needed to be buried inside of that pretty little cunt of yours right now, and he hastily pushed his jeans and boxers down just enough to free his aching cock.

Your eyes widened when you saw Ariel's dick, and he couldn't help but grin. He knew that he had you now. "Beg for it," he said in a demanding tone, teasing your folds with his cock and covering it with your copious amount of wetness. "Show me how much you want it. Show me that after all these weeks of you disrespecting me, that deep down you're really just a whore."

"Fuck," you whispered as you felt the head of Ariel's cock graze against your swollen clit. "Ariel, plea-"

Ariel's hand came to rest on your throat again, and he spoke in a low, dominant voice. "No, you haven't earned the right to use my name. Call me 'Master'." He smirked, wondering how long it would take you to break, to degrade yourself to the point where you accepted yourself as his property. He imagined that it would take at least a few minutes to get you to that point, but he had underestimated how desperate you truly were, because you admitted it almost immediately.

"Master, please... I need it, please..." you whimpered pathetically, looking up at him with your eyes wide and pleading. "I promise I won't disrespect you ever again, I'll do whatever you say... please fuck me."

That was all Ariel needed to hear. Keeping his hand on your throat, he used his free hand to guide his cock to your entrance, and wasted no time pushing himself inside. You were so tight and wet that he had to grit his teeth to keep himself from getting too overwhelmed - as much as he hated to admit it, it had been a while for him, since he'd been so busy.

Ariel made sure to keep his eyes trained squarely on your face as he began to fuck you, slowly but harshly. The hand that wasn't on your throat came to rest on one of your legs, pulling it up so he could wrap it around his waist and reach deeper inside of you. Without even being prompted, you lifted your other leg up so that he could do the same with it. You let out a loud moan, and attempted to buck your hips up to meet his thrusts.

"You act all tough, but you're really just a submissive little slut, aren't you?" he mused, applying a little bit of pressure to your neck as he sped up the pace of his hips. "Maybe this is what you wanted all along. Is that it, pet? All of your little outbursts, all of the disrespect... you were just trying to provoke me into giving you what you needed, weren't you?" His tone was mockingly sweet, which should have irritated you, but all you could manage was a strangled whimper. Ariel seemed to take this as a confirmation of his theory, and honestly, you knew deep down that he was correct. "Poor little thing. You won't have to worry about that ever again, because you're mine now. My little toy."

Ariel began to fuck you hard and fast now, both of your moans and heavy breathing, along with the sounds of his hips slamming against your ass, were the only noises in the room. His hand tightened around your neck, cutting off your air supply a little, and at the same time, your cunt tightened as well.

"Oh, are you going to cum already, pet? It must have been a long time since you've been fucked properly, hm?" His free hand slipped down between your bodies to play with your clit, making you writhe and squirm and your thighs shake where they were resting on his shoulders. "Come on, pet. Cum on my cock like the good little whore we both know you are."

That pushed you over the edge into what was probably the most powerful orgasm you'd ever experienced in your life. If you'd been able to form coherent thoughts in the moment, you would have thought you must have looked like you were possessed or something. You let out a series of incomprehensible noises as your pussy contracted wildly around Ariel's shaft, and he continued to fuck you through it until you were too sensitive to continue.

Whether you were too sensitive didn't really matter that much to Ariel, who only stopped once he was ready. It took all of the self-control he had to pull out of your still-fluttering warmth and spill his cum onto your pussy, groaning out your name as he did so. As both of you caught your breath, he couldn't help but look down at the mess he'd made of you and feel a sense of pride swelling in his chest.

All it had taken was that single suggestion, those short six words: ‘I want to have your baby’. A sentence murmured, half mumbled and slurred, when he was already buried to the hilt inside of your fluttering cunt — part instinctual need voiced in an intimate moment, part conscious confession of a want you’d been carrying around ever since your wedding day (brief months that felt like decades to you in the moment).

But that one plea, that begging moan, had brought your darling Jamie to a pause. Hips stuttering as his hazy mind caught up with what you’d said and his cheeks and neck started to turn a pretty, flustered pink.

‘What?’ Unsure, uncertain of what he’d heard and not wanting to push, and yet desperate to hear it again.

‘I,’ you licked your lips and swallowed thickly, trying to string together something coherent despite your foggy thoughts, ‘I said I want to have a baby with you, Jamie.’

Certain, sure, yet still flustered with your kissed skin burning with embarrassment as your husband stared down at you with those beautiful doe eyes of his. Silent, considering and processing your every word until something finally clicked and a bright — sunlight in the golden hour of a crisp winter morning bright — grin split across his face and those stunning eyes grew wet with unshed tears (and you whimpered as you felt his large cock practically jump inside of you).

Then he leaned down and started peppering kisses all over your face as he finally started to move again: slower, more gentle, but no less passionate as he deliberately angled his hips so that the engorged tip of his dick was brushing against that spot inside of you with every thrust. Whispering teary ‘thank you’s and ‘I love you’s as he kissed your sweaty forehead, your heavy eyelids, your burning cheeks, the bridge and tip of your nose, your chin, and finally your smiling lips — the final kiss deeper and messier as you buried your hands in his messy brown hair and held him in place as he moaned and whimpered against you.

Endlessly loving, as he always was, even as he started to push you closer to climax — this time clearly, audibly, more eager than ever before (he’d always wanted a family, after all, so how could he not be excited at the opportunity?). Placing one slender hand on the underside of your thigh to keep you stable as he made love to you whilst the other rested comfortably beside your head to keep you upright. Trying dearly to hold on for you even as you felt his pace start to falter and grow clumsy, heard him get louder even as his moans and gasps were muffled by your kiss, and it became clear that he was also teetering over the edge of climax. Downright begging you, breathless and moaning between syllables, to ‘cum for me’ and ‘let me hear you’, repeating ‘please’ and ‘sweetheart’ and ‘darling’ over and over again until his voice cracked and something in you snapped and you were sent tumbling over the edge.

Finishing to the sound of him uttering your name in a half-sob, half-moan against your lips and the feeling of him following you a short few seconds later: filling you with his seed until it started to leak out of you around his softening dick, dripping down your ass and pooling on the bedsheets along with your own slick. Only able to cry out for him in moans and whimpers and cusses you knew would be enough to make him blush in any other moment — not that your lust wracked mind was able to think such things. No, you were much too far gone for that.

The only image you were able to form in the height of your orgasm was a blissful one that made your racing heart swell with hope and longing: Jamie, your Jamie, surrounded by children and beaming with pride. So very at home and content in a scene you’d yet to see and only hoped you’d get to experience yourself in the near future. A single coherent sentence flashing briefly through your mind at the conjured sight before you were once again pulled under the white hot tidal wave of pleasure that your beloved had so lovingly inflicted upon you.

And then you heard your name.

You stopped half way, staying as still as possible part of you wanting to run back to your room while covering your ears, the other part of you curious to know what they were saying. You wanted to move but your feet were glued to the ground, your heart hammering out of your chest.

"How about y/n?"

"Uh y/n..." You could hear the hesitation in his Bucky's as he contemplated his next words, his tone irritated. "She's whatever. It's not like that"

"Meaning?"

"Uh. I don't know, she sort of follows me around everywhere, there's not a day I don't see her but its not like I ask to see her"

You blinked, your stomach starting to churn. Did you follow him everywhere? You did see him everyday but you didn't realize you were following him.

"I mean she's only that way with you, she's definitely not that comfortable with Steve or me" You could hear Sam trying to reason with Bucky but all he did was scoff, your heart wrenching further.

"Yeah. It's overwhelming"

You wanted to run, wishing you had stayed in bed for an extra 5 minutes, your body now hot, not from how safe he made you feel but from embarrassment. Of course he was overwhelmed with your clinginess, he didn't want to have to deal with a burden like you. He had so much of his own issues to deal with and then there was you.

Guilt started to cloud your mind as you thought about all the times you spent time with Bucky, staying by his side while he reassured you or comforted you. How many of those times were actually annoying for him, how many times did he wish you would suck it up and leave him alone instead.

"She's not really friends with anyone else on the team, I'm not sure why she hangs out with me specifically that much" He sounded even more irritated than before; the rest of the conversation a melted into dull buzz, your heartbeat thudding in your skull.

Your eyes stung, hot tears flooding your lash line at his words. Your bottom lip, trembled despite how hard you were biting down on it; your forced your feet to move, slowly backing away from the kitchen until you were far enough to run to your room. You slammed the door shut, instructing FRIDAY to soundproof the walls and turn away anyone that came by before breaking down into sobs.

All of your insecurities were dialed to 100 along with more being added to the list.

How did you not see how annoying you were being. You felt awful, embarrassed, confused.

Why didn't he say anything?

Of course he wouldn't, he probably felt pity for you. A grown adult woman who struggled to open up and still struggled with her personality. An absolute joke.

You let the day go by, too ashamed to face anyone, let alone Bucky. If he felt irritated, there was no doubt the rest of the team knew exactly how annoying he found you. You couldn't bring yourself to see any of them, deciding to skip both lunch and dinner instead while burying under the covers.

****

Bucky frowned when he didn't see you the whole day, his worries growing more when he didn't see you come by for dinner either.

"Where's y/n?"

"I checked on her during lunch but FRIDAY said she'd requested to be alone" Nat looked at Bucky, confused over how he, of all people, didn't know where you were.

"Aren't you both joined at the hip, how do you not know Barnes" Tony wiggled his eyebrow while Bucky rolled his eyes, too worried about you to retort to Tony's comment.

"I saw her once this morning in the training room but not after that. She seemed fine then" Steve had seen you that morning, happy to see you brighter when he had spoken to you, not missing your shy smile when he'd mentioned Bucky's name. "No one else saw her all day?"

Bucky was immediately out of his seat, making his way over to your room to see you, only to have FRIDAY respond instead.

"Ms. Y/l/n has asked that no one disturb her until further notice"

"For fucks sake" He mumbled, knocking at your door one more time.

"I'm sorry Sergeant Barnes, Ms. y/l/n has asked to be left alone"

Bucky was taken aback when he was tuned away; in the few times you had locked your door from everyone else he'd always been exempt from that list. Why didn't you want to see him either? He reluctantly made his way back, his mind now racing over what could have possibly happened from the night before to now.

****

You had managed to avoid Bucky the next few days, purposefully staying away from the areas you knew he'd be around and staying in your room for most of the day. Whenever he tried to speak to you, you'd find a way to escape the conversation, his words reeling in your mind, reminding you he found you annoying. Overwhelming. Clingy.

You couldn't understand why he was going out of his way to try and talk to you when you were trying so hard to stay away, your heart in pain not being able to spend time with the person you felt the safest with. Your mind made it impossible to get a wink of sleep; you made your way down to the kitchen for a late night snack instead. You grabbed a bowl of popcorn, turning the TV on to your favorite comfort shows needing a temporary distraction.

"Jellybean?"

Bucky made his way through the living room after a late night workout, his heart jumping when his eyes landed on you. He was by your side in an instant, not noticing the way you froze when he sat beside you.

"Hi James"

Bucky blinked, his name sounding foreign on your tongue.

He didn't like it.

Not one bit.

Since when was he James.

"Uh, is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine" You forced a smile, scooting over so you weren't sitting too close to him, your mind racing trying to find a way out of the conversation. Bucky could sense your discomfort but he had no idea why, his heart beating harder against his chest when he noticed your eyes shift, as if you were looking for a way to escape.

"Are-are you sure?"

"Yup!"

"Doll" He noticed the way your eyes continued to flick around the room, refusing to meet his. "Somethings bothering you"

"What makes you say that"

"I-you called me by my name-you never do that"

"What else should I call you" You avoided his gaze, fidgeting with a lose string on a cushion while Bucky felt his stomach drop.

Were you upset with him?

"You always call me sugar plum. Only you do" He shrugged sadly, his bottom lip jutting out into a pout. "You don't call me James"

"Oh" Was all you could muster, feeling your throat close up, hot tears threatening to spill from your lash line. You tried to turn away from him only to have him gently cup your cheek, tilting your chin to face him. His heart broke seeing your glassy eyes while you chewed your lip to keep from crying.

"Please tell me what's wrong, did I do something? Did I say anything?"

"No" You whispered, swallowing thickly, pulling away from him only to have him take your hands in his to keep you from running away.

"C'mon y/n, please?"

"I-I don't mean to follow you around and be so clingy. I'm just trying to give you some space Bucky" You tried to keep your voice steady, hanging your head so he wouldn't see the tears run down your cheeks. Bucky let go of your hands to cup your cheeks again, his thumbs wiping away your tears.

"Jellybean, what are you-

"I heard you talking to Sam" You spat, now annoyed that he was here trying to talk to you when he was the one who felt you followed him around. "I heard you tell him I'm always around you. That you don't even ask to see me but I'm there. I didn't mean to be so overbearing. I felt safe with you so I was closest to you, I didn't realize you felt like I was following you".

"Sweetheart, it's not overwhelming for the reasons you think"

"Then what else could it be Bucky? You could have told me you needed some space, I would've understood. I wouldn't have spend so much time hanging out with you-

"No! I like when you're around me Jellybean" Bucky almost sounded offended you'd suggest such a thing while you shook your head, sniffling.

"You don't have to lie to me-

"Y/n, no. I promise doll, this is just a misunderstanding, that's not that I meant when I was talking to Sam"

"Then what did you mean?" You whispered, confused over what else he could have possibly meant. Bucky felt butterflies in his chest, not fully thinking this through. Should he tell you what the conversation was about? Could it be worse than you thinking he didn't even like you when the truth was the complete opposite?

"I don't want to ruin our friendship if I tell you" Bucky suddenly looked scared, his eyes wide like a lost puppy, vulnerable and afraid. He sucked in a breath before speaking, inching a little closer to you. "Sam was asking about if I'm seeing anyone. He thinks I need to put myself out there"

Oh.

A sudden pang of jealousy hit your chest, the flinch in your face not missed by Bucky.

"He was suggesting..." He bit his lip, chewing it nervously before continuing. "He asked if there was anything between us. He thought maybe you liked me because we're always together" Bucky continued to look at you like a kicked puppy, his own emotions now all over the place. "I didn't think you did. At least not in that way but he kept saying there was something between us"

"It didn't sound like you liked me very much" You shrugged while Bucky frantically shook his head, mentally scolding himself. "I thought you found me too clingy"

"Never. You're never too clingy. M'so so sorry doll, I didn't mean for it to come out that way, you're the only person who I can spend the whole day with, I'm not comfortable around others like I am with you. I love when you come around looking for me. I guess a part of me was upset because Sam wasn't the first to ask me why we weren't together and ask if we were more than friends. I didn't think you'd like me and it's overwhelming for me because I feel so much and...well"

"and?" Bucky blushed, struggling to get the next words out while you anxiously waited for him to continue.

"and I really like you" He whispered, squeezing your hand in his while you shifted closer, letting him pull you onto his lap. His arms circled around your waist, holding you close to him both your hearts racing, his nose bumping against yours.

"You like me?" You felt your cheeks heat up when he nodded, his blue eyes shyly peeking up at you through his lashes.

"I like you jellybean. A lot"

"Even more than m&m's?" You felt him hug you together, your lips brushing against his.

"More than m&m's" He closed the gap between you both, pressing his lips to yours, kissing you sweetly as you gently carded your fingers through his hair. He kissed you until you both needed air, a dopey smile on his face while you snuggled into his chest.

"Does that mean I'm your sugar plum again?" He whispered hopefully making you giggle, kissing him deeply again.

"Always, my sugar plum"

"My jellybean"

****

"Fucking finally" Tony mumbled, his hair ruffled, stifling a yawn as he walked through the living room, grinning at you and Bucky sleeping on the couch.

"I told him" Steve rolled his eyes, snapping a picture of you both cuddled on the couch while Sam snorted, nodding in approval. "Took them long enough"