日向 順平

However, Hyuuga's follow up question makes him feel like a headache is about to slam into him. "I see. Well... there is no girl. If there's two guys." That's kind of the point, Hyuuga. God forbid Hyuuga also learns about lesbians someday. But that's too complicated for this conversation. "That depends on what you mean by girl...? Not all girls are the same either, you know... I think Riko would kick your ass if she heard you talking about this."

While Hyuuga did think she would be nice enough to help him navigate this, it just felt... Awkward. Look, it was painful for him to even be talking about this with Izuki, okay? Give him some credit for at least trying to organize his thoughts.

(For the record, even if Hyuuga wasn’t able to read Izuki’s thoughts: no, he wasn’t imagining him as a girl at all.)

It was then, when Izuki asked him why he was 'bothered' about it, that Hyuuga realized maybe he was... Still wondering about some things from years ago / things he had never brought up to Izuki (he definitely was bothered about it, he was just trying to gaslight himself). "I’m not bothered by it." He said it a bit too quickly, sounding defensive. "I was just curious. I don’t really think I’m attracted to men after all."

...Wait, what? "Eh?" The confused noise that leaves his throat is entirely unintentional. "How it would work? I assume pretty similar to dating a girl. With like... less of some things, and more of other things." He's trying to be as vague as possible so he doesn't go into crude territory here. "I guess... I haven't really thought about it directly," he says cautiously. "Girls and guys are equally as annoyed by my jokes, so I guess for me it would be the same."

"Less of some things, and more of... Other things." He repeats like a broken record, not exactly the answer he expected but Hyuuga will try to work around that. Yes, Hyuuga kissed him no more than half an hour ago, that is not something that's being denied? Given that Izuki silently decided to ignore that detail, he will ignore it as well for the time being. After hearing more, he did consider having food for thought the matter about one's masculinity being questioned.

Hyuuga sighed.

"Kiyoshi is definitely not me," Izuki says. "My hands are smaller, and he irritates people in a much different way than I do." He nods as though he's said something very wise. "Right, I know you care... well, thank you. It's just an offhand thought I have sometimes. Thanks for giving me a hand." Actually terrible. Hyuuga should leave him immediately.

He gives Hyuuga sad puppy dog eyes at that one. "Everyone?! But they're fun, aren't they? Hayama laughed at my jokes, remember? Surely someone on the team finds them funny...?" Izuki is very aware he's alone on this island. Oh well! Not everyone can appreciate the Izuki-family genius. "Inner thoughts... well, what do I know, maybe they're winner thoughts." Since Hyuuga apologized, Izuki has managed to relax somewhat, and is now back to his typical annoying self.

Not that he would say that out loud. Truthfully speaking, Hyuuga was made for the position of Captain in basketball. For his personal life? That was not the same case, sadly. Some things were just not that easy to handle!

"I'm sorry, Hyuuga," Izuki says cautiously. "I didn't say no because I wanted to help you with whatever it was. It's been a long time since you asked me for help with anything directly... I agree, maybe Kiyoshi would have been a better choice." His smile is kind of sad. "I know you say he irritates you, but I think he's a good person to go to for support. He's kinda an airhead sometimes, but I know he cares about you." Not that Izuki doesn't care, of course he does, that's part of the problem, but, well — you know.

Misunderstood their friendship? What does Hyuuga mean by that exactly? Izuki should have kept that thought to himself. "Oh, um... well, I'll admit I kind of feel like the odd one out these days, sometimes. With you and Kiyoshi and Riko... but that's not something you have to worry about, Hyuuga. It's just my own insecurity, really."

He wants so badly to make a joke out of this. Instead, he holds his typical puns back for the sake of a serious conversation.

"I mean, I — you can still confide in me, if you want," Izuki clarifies. "Even if I'm not... the best option?" Still, he wonders why Hyuuga would have wanted to kiss him. He thought Hyuuga was more... rigid? About things like this. And that he had been for a long time, which is why they drifted in the first place, whether Hyuuga knows it or not.

He remembers when Hyuuga stopped wanting to hold his hand when they played. And he remembers running home and crying to his mother that Hyuuga didn't like him anymore, and asking if he was too girly. Baby Izuki worried that having two sisters had made him not understand what boys were supposed to do. But his mother assured him that there wasn't only one way for boys to act, and that Hyuuga was probably just embarrassed about something.

Izuki started to keep his distance after that, out of respect for whatever Hyuuga was going through. But he'd hoped that at some point, after working through it, Hyuuga would come back...? Instead, they seem to barely be friends anymore.

Okay, he was getting there / somehow / little by little. Just give him more time...

"Kiyoshi is not you." He huffed, embarrassed in admitting that out loud / while that stupid Iron Heart did manage to make Hyuuga come out of his shell way more easily, and also inspired him to get back into basketball, the one who was really there all along has been Izuki / even if the other didn't really realize it. "We all care about you, and you are as important to me as Kiyoshi and Riko are." Maybe that could help Izuki with his own insecurities as well, because that wasn't a lie, at all.

"It's not the puns. I am annoyed at them, yes, but everybody shares the same sentiment. I'm not alone on that." If that were the root of all issues, they wouldn't even be having this conversation at all. Hyuuga sighed, emotionally drained from all of this. "Just my inner thoughts, too." Which needed more thinking on his part, since even saying the reason why he asked Izuki, of all people, for a kiss, was very embarrassing for him, you might as well just end his misery right here and now.

Why did he react so angrily?! Hyuuga said himself that it wasn't anything out of this world, but he's mad that Izuki confirmed that it was a lame kiss? They're in full agreement here! "Ooookay, then what did you need to kiss me for? At least go through with it if you're going to use me for practice." Coward. He's not a mean person, so he's not going to say that, but Hyuuga really could stand to be a little more... decisive? He never seems to commit to his feelings — and what is Izuki supposed to do about that? Hyuuga doesn't come to him for anything anymore.

"I don't know how to kiss," Izuki protests — now he's feeling a little irritated for some reason. "And why would I initiate that, anyway?" Sometimes, Hyuuga acts like they're little kids again. "You don't have to know how to cook to taste a dish and know it's awful." Izuki finds that he's being immature now, too. "You don't even want to answer the question of why you asked me, for some reason. Weren't we friends at one point?"

Ah. He hadn't really meant to let that slip out.

"Well, good to know we both have so much in common about having no experience in kissing people", the sarcasm rolled out in every word / like venom. Maybe he meant it to say it like that / maybe not, but who cares? "Sorry to have troubled you with this. I knew I should've asked someone else, like stupid Kiyoshi." Ohhhhh, that was... Very low, even for Hyuuga.

By this point, he had already crossed his arms and looked the other way, trying to find an excuse to not look Izuki in the eyes / ignoring the questions.

'Weren't we friends at one point?' Wait... That actually made him turn back again to look at the latter. "Huh?" What? Why did Izuki say that so... Sad? "Izuki... Why are you saying that?" They were still talking, they were still friends, and they even attended the same school-- For fuck's sake, they even were in the same club. Wasn't that enough to prove they were still friends after all? If Hyuuga actually had more emotional intelligence, he would've figured a long time ago just how distant they both grew.

Now, with Izuki saying-- Asking that, it just further confirms how much of a terrible idea it was to ask him for a stupid, dumb kiss. "I... I seem to have misunderstood our friendship." A punch in the gut would've hurt less than saying that out loud. Any last remaining bit of trust they had left just happened to finish shattering into a million pieces, never to be fixed to what it once was.

...

'Junpei, take my hand!'

...

'Junpei?'

...

"Holding hands is for girls, Shun..." He clenched his jaw at that far and faint memory of him saying that, on one of the many field trips they had back in elementary school. Life had seemed so much simpler at that age.

"I would call that... lip service." Yes, he's a little proud of that joke. Not only is he stupidly proud of it, but it also sucks! Worst of both worlds.

That was super anticlimactic. What's he supposed to make of that? He's kissed Nigou on the nose for longer than that kiss lasted!

"Did you prove something to yourself?" Izuki tilts his head, curious about what any of that meant. "Or did you fall for me? Fall... in the fall. Fall for me, but it's no fault of mine. The folly of falling for me, which isn't my fault..."

Why does he make Hyuuga angry when he speaks, he wonders? A mystery for the ages.

Finally, after thinking Izuki had had enough of a punishment, he let go of him. "Hm, didn't seem anything out of this world." He did figure something out, even if it was a poor attempt. At least there was comfort that Izuki treated this very casually.

"Hmm... well, I can give you a grade after. Then it's kinda like homework." And considering how flighty Hyuuga is acting, he's not going to get a very good grade. ...No, Izuki will go easy on him. It doesn't matter how good either of them are anyway, because it's not a "real" kiss.

Is there a reason Hyuuga is trying to be romantic about it? Izuki has never seen him act so gentle and nervous before. He swallows. Right, why did he agree to this? Hyuuga's so stupid about things like this! And emotionally incompetent! He knows this!

Hyuuga's a huge dork. But his awkwardness makes him cute. At least, Izuki has always thought so. He's a dork in his own way, so he doesn't judge Hyuuga for his hobbies or the fact that he gets easily flustered.

Too bad these days they haven't been as close as they used to be.

Somehow, feeding into the idea that it's not a 'real' kiss was rubbing him in more bad ways than Hyuuga would like to admit. Not like either one of them would say it out loud, though.

"Of course it's fine," Izuki says instead of the truth. "And if you hate it, then... you can fine me later."

Perhaps the joke will get Hyuuga to call it off and run away from him. It's always hard to tell with him.

Politely, he tilts his head towards Hyuuga, allowing him to initiate. The other nice thing about Izuki is that he's trustworthy. Even if this winds up being awkward, he won't run to Kiyoshi or Riko later to complain about it. "You're just...trying, right? You can think of it like you're, um, doing homework or something."

That pun was definitely not meant to be taken seriously, but it actually made the atmosphere to feel less tense. Perhaps that's just how it has always been / how it would always be between them. There as some comfort in that thought. Hyuuga trusted Izuki, he just need to trust in himself.

"It's a kiss, Izuki. I'm not sure this can qualify as homework at all", he huffed. Tension on his shoulders left and now he just had to... Do that, yes, he should. After thinking about it for yet another painful minute, he has just now realized how Izuki had a very pretty face.

Wait... That was a thought that came out of the blue. Even he was not expecting that at all. This will definitely not come back at him to bite him in the ass (spoiler: it will).

[ hyuuga ]: “ let’s just kiss already. ” @ofmiracles

Izuki smiles, a nice, pleasant expression to hide the growing feeling of dread festering in his stomach. He supposes he’s happy that Hyuuga is asking that of him now, but he can’t help but feel that if something goes wrong, Hyuuga will never talk to him again, that their friendship will shatter into pieces at the slightest discomfort. Sometimes Izuki longs for everything to be simple like it was when they were kids, a nostalgia for something they can never go back to, for a time where they held hands and snuggled up together without a second thought. Now everything is tinged with precariousness and the knowledge that Hyuuga is pushing himself – and for what? Does he really like Izuki that way, or is he trying to prove something to himself…?

“Sure,” Izuki manages. There’s a strange voice chattering in his head, wondering if his hair looks okay or if he seems cool at all, if he’s standing awkwardly or seeming casual enough. He feels awkward in his own skin suddenly, and he’s also hyper aware of things he usually tries so hard not to think about, like how cute it is when Hyuuga furrows his brow in that grumpy manner of his, or how strong his hands are from playing basketball, or how his glasses look nice on him (even if he doesn’t have the stereotypical smarts to go along with them). “But if you don’t like it… we can stop, okay?”

no, izuki is partly right, hyuuga is trying to prove something to himself. not that the latter even asked what this was about, he didn’t need to know, or maybe he did deserve to know? to not have hard-feelings whatsoever? in any case, this was very embarrassing for him– but this was izuki they were talking about! his best friend since their childhood, surely this won’t backfire, right? right? oh, he was trying so hard to convince himself about all this.

Izuki: How so?