Clumsypelican

here, have an extremely wholesome tiktok to detox your dash

Those mods that replace female characters with male characters in games but keep the female animations really highlight how fucking insane and ridiculous the animations for women in video games usually are

why am I not a small, well-loved domestic cat

You keep sending assassins after me but I kiss every one of them on the lips so sweetly

nice try assassin! *kisses you so tenderly*

i agree with british people when they say fooking ell

My dad fell asleep watching some youtube video in the living room but his youtube is set to auto play and i just heard ‘Big foot mating call’ before the loudest guttural noise imaginable reverberated this whole house. And hes still asleep

Step mom came out from her room and was like ‘Hey Jim? Why?’

if this somehow makes it to a facebook meme page and my dad sees it i will literally never forgive any of you

i eat 15 apples for breakfast then drive myself to the hospital just to watch the doctors get blasted backward into the drywall bc they cant withstand my aura

cant get sentences like this anywhere else

if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue

how could he NOT fall in love with me though like i am literally there making him giggle, daily. a grown man covered in gold and he is just laughing at my stupid little jokes. i have that bastard wrapped around my finger. He knows it

i love when porn blogs follow me. like sir i literally just shitpost on here. there is not even a single titty on my christian minecraft blog. you are mistaken.