neither here nor there

what a lonely fucking life

i don’t know how to not be a miserable person this is just how i am and how i’ve been and felt for as long as i can remember and i want to change but how can i if i don’t know how to be anything else?

it’s hard not to want to fucking kill myself

my arm is slowly filling up with cigarette burns

how do i not just fucking kill myself though

i’ve never felt so lonely in my life

my heart hurts so much

no wonder i haven’t been in a relationship for years, who would want to be with this walking bag of red flags

I fucked up one of the most beautiful things i’ve had in my life

getting rid of myself is the only solution. no matter how hard i try or how much work i think i put in, i’ll never be able to escape my true self. as long as i’m alive there will always be someone to hurt me wherever i go

It’s just hit me how much I’ve changed in the last 15 months. I honestly can’t say most of it has been for the better.