CloudedConcept

my living room is currently occupied by anxiety, anger, hatred, doubt, regret, compassion, happiness, fear and despair.

Feeling, determination and mindfullness are in the basement and are starting to get too big, they might have to come upstairs next.

Anxiety is almost always there and I can’t get it to leave, it always finds a reason to stay

Anger and hatred are visiting due to the latest drama concerning my dad

Doubt is there due to my lack of belief in myself

Regret is there because I think there are so many things i could have changed

Compassion is there because im trying to understand others and why they say and do the things they do that so negatively effect me.

Happiness is there simply for my sanity

Still here uh? Would’ve thought you’d have shifted by now. Been around since I’m 14 but I don’t need you anymore. I have friends now, i have a relationship now, i do what i enjoy now, my family is safe and happy now. So why ?

I never even asked for you in the first place and you never did anything good for me. All you ever did is make me harm myself, distrust others and hate my life. I know you stick around with some people for there whole lives, but I dont want that for myself. 

I want to be in a happy relationship with a man who loves me, but you’re sabotaging us? you’re making me distrust him, youre making me not enjoy myself, youre lowering my sex drive but worst of all youre making me want to leave him just because you think we will never last. Because he will leave me, but he will only leave me because of you. You.

I know where you came from though, you come from somewhere different for everyone, but as soon as my dad turned into a vindictive arsehole, you turned up. And at first you were a comfort, you helped me deal with the pain I felt and let me wallow in it and process it. but there’s nothing to process now. he’s not even in my life and yet here you are. putting me down everytime i think i can be happy, and bringing your best buddy anxiety to the party. Who by the way is the bane of my life.

I don’t want to be with you, either of you. So if you would kindly leave me alone and let me be, that would be swell.

Sincerely,