Clouded Clarity

one saturday i found myself at the top.

I remember being so scared.

but i pushed off. and held on.

I can still feel my hands gripping my handle bars.

I hadn’t felt that since.

Last week you took my hand,

sorry i missed you.

lacking prescription had my toes twisted

and i had been avoiding toe twisting for a couple months by that point

i painted you with every smile

tracing the lines you tried to hide

fears of falling short

it was real, life without a lens

but i didn’t know the words

slowly.

it was sunday. she was still here. and i

yellow streaks

blue eyes

future plans

tracing the dots

mouthing the rhymes

i should know them by now

i know.

her chest rising and falling

she engulfed africa with every breath.

with each line she swallowed australia

the chorus brought knees to her chin

taking over the continents

she paid no mind,

our hands talking for us, reaching out clumsily, screaming.

In a state I fled

In a town I was afraid of

In a bar I swore i’d never return to

In a booth I found myself next to her

and with a squeeze of a knee she found

Every word I write Just isn’t right And try as I might

"you're lonely a lot, aren't you?"

quick reply:

"i'm alone. not lonely"

yesterday, a couple walked ahead of me

lost completely in their own world

which I couldn't help but picture more vibrant than my own

does that make me...

"lonely a lot, aren't you?"

revision:

I marveled at the firefly that flew out feet before me

i joined him in his brief performance

matching his joy with a click of light of my own

my mind wandered 

thoughts appeared

and disappeared

like smoke into the night

the moon shone bright but

the lights in my house had vanished hours ago

but every few seconds

the firefly made sure that I knew