Vegging in CLE

I'm kicking off the summ by re-booting the blog and I figured there was no better excuse than The Pintester Movement's deadline (http://pintester.com/2013/05/the-pintester-movement-craft-all-the-things). And since I felt guilty that my project was relatively simple, I added a bonus round. Total overachiever status.

Project 1: 

I figured since I'm a totally filthy human and I have zero desire to crochet a summer wreath, I'd hunt around for some crafty cleaning tricks. Total two birds move. (Aside: I feel like Pinterest is so much more geared towards people who like decoupaging and reading directions than it is to my lazy self). So I saw this homemade Goo-gone and I was like, fuck yes, I totally can scrub the mystery stain off my carseat in the name of craftin'. Besides, that jar is absolutely adorable. 

In true Pinterest style, the pin promised that if I mixed veggie oil and baking soda, I could totally wipe out whatever glued itself to my passage seat. 

I used Olive Oil instead of Vegetable Oil. Olives are vegetables. 

I shook heartily and I made something that looked like very organic goop. 

The Result? 

My stain glistens now.

Verdict: I swear someone just made this shit up. My stain is still large and in-charge. Also, the goop gone looked suspiciously like some at-home fertility clinic paraphernalia. 

BONUS ROUND: 

This pin has been everywhere, and since it only requires a tshirt and a pair of scissors, looked totally achievable. 

After some snipping, I wound up with this

Verdict: Not particularly exciting, but not offensively hideous. It kind of just looks like the cut-off tees that people who spend a lot of time at the gym wear.

The best part? I totally didn't fully take the design into account when I started cutting and I wound up with this? Anyone want an upscaled bib necklace? 

I think I may have had the most awful brunch in the history of holiday brunchin' Sunday, which is a bummer because I adore brunchin'. Everything on the menu was corn-beef centric, so I asked the waitress to have the chef make me anything sans carne. I was expecting a grilled cheese sandwich or something quick and I got a plate of boiled cabbage and boiled potatoes. I guess it was culturally appropriate (like i could pretend I was a mill-girl or some shit), but there is something about a paying for a boiled potato surprise that really makes you think HOLY SHIT, i should start cooking things for myself because it has to taste better than this.

So, I'm makin' a bean salad (mostly because beans are always on special at my grocery store). You should make it too: 

1.) Put on Bow Down. You're going to be cooking to Beyonce, naturally. Don't worry, the recipe is beyond remedial, so you can devote most of the cooking time to dancing around the kitchen with your dog.

2.) Make this dressing:

I found this recipe on Food.com via JustJanS. Although JanS seems like a very nice lady, I'm very jealous that she was in a villa in Bali (especially since the highlight of my spring break was a very long nap with my dog).

Here's Jan's work:

2 tablespoons lime juice (I ended up squeezed a lot extra lime juice over the salad before I served it because the olive oil was kind of overpowering)

2 tablespoons sugar  (I subbed in 1 teaspoon honey since I'm in a perma-sugar coma and I don't like to encourage it)

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 garlic clove, crushed

salt and pepper (I'm pretty sure my ex-roommate moved out with our saltshaker. But look, I just lowered your daily sodium intake!)

Directions:

Mix all together until the sugar has dissolved you get tired of mixing/you have to hit replay on the Beyonce, then serve over salad ingredients of your choice.

3.) For the salad: 

Mix together:

one can of pink beans

one can of black beans

one can of white beans

one pint of grape tomatos

sliced green onions

I fried up some zucchini and red onions in a pan with olive oil to mix in. I think they should caramelize or some shit, but my pan was way too small for all of things I stuffed in it and i didn't feel like going two rounds. I dumped it into the bean bowl when it looked done-ish and then dropped in a little more olive oil and fried up the tof (the whole adding oil to a hot saucepan was really and intimidating and probably dangerous, so I stood kind of far away and flung some oil in. I don't recommend this method and I'm pretty sure you've already thought of a better, less treacherous one). 

NOTE: definitely check out herbivoracious for an excellent primer on tofu fryin'. Basically, if you buy firm tofu, you don't have to bother with pressing the tofu, but you will need to gently press on the sliced tofu with a paper towel. If the tofu is still really wet when you drop it in the pan it will make this awful hissing noise and fry pretty unequally (read: it'll be wet and mushy on the inside). 

5.) Serve the salad chilled over cous-cous. It's also pretty delicious to mix in a little bit of hummus and spread the salad over a pita. 

VERDICT: salad was tasty, but the dressing definitely needs a little kick. Maybe I should add chipotle pepper next time? So, definitely better than both boiled potatoes and this suburban cris.

Even though cheap studio space and a really good restaurant scene makes Cleveland trendier by the minute, so much of our Rust Belt culture still remains. Although this means that I know of at least three places within walking distance of my apartment where I can get really authentic pierogi, it also means that at least half of the people who know that I'm a vegetarian think that I'm totally ridiculous (sharing an apartment with hippies who harvested kombucha on our hot-water heater probably doesn't help my case). My grandma still asks whenever she sees me whether I eat meatballs and chicken. She's very concerned that I'm going to die from a protein deficiency.

Because there are, at-most, only three people in my life who I can get to try anything with "sprouted" or "all-natural" in the description, I spend a lot of my time combing through meat-rich menus, looking for hidden veggie gems. I listed some of my favorite secretly vegetarian-friendly places on the Westside of Cleveland for the times when you just don't have the energy to convince the crowd to try your favorite tempeh recipe.     

Dining with Really Enthusiastic Carnivores

When I worked for City Year, I had a coworker who was really passionate about all types of beef. Growing up on a cow-farm and enjoying tons of access to fresh burgers, he couldn't understand my commitment to passing on the jerky. Sometimes, when I was being particularly choosy, he would bang his palms on the table in exasperation and yell "HOW CAN YOU NOT EAT HOT DOGS?" so I was understandably nervous when he scheduled our team bonding dinner at Hot Sauce Williams. 

A total staple for the wings and ribs crowd, Hot Sauce is shockingly vegetarian-friendly. The restaurant offers a veggie po' boy, which is really saucy and stuffed with fries. I've never had an actual meaty po' boy, so I can't comment on how authentic the experience was, but I was too stuffed to finish my side of mac 'n cheese (creamy and delish) and plate of fries (the fries themselves were a little soggy on their own and needed to be eaten with a fork, but smothered in the house BBQ sauce, they were pretty irresistible). 

Depending on how much of a veggie purist you are, you might try the collard greens (I think I'm the only person in the history of Hot Sauce William's to ask if there was meat in the collard greens since I got the most withering of looks from the server). Because I'm willing to pick around any potential meat, I ordered the greens and adored them (I didn't notice any meat in my order). 

BBQ sauce makes snow [slightly] more bearable. Photo source: http://www.lthforum.com/bb/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=18270&hilit=cleveland

Dining with Trendy Carnivores

Everyone, from my trendiest art school friend to my sweater vest-wearing dad, agrees, The Happy Dog is one of the spots that makes Cleveland unique (just ask GQ). Since it's barely a fifteen minute walk from my apartment, my boyfriend and I spent the entire summer at the Dog. Besides, nothing's better than celebrating a new job/the day off school/my ex-roommate finally picking up her extensive vinyl collection than a heaping platter of cheesy tots. Although cheese is an extra dollar, I'm a total sucker for anything melty. Also, the restaurant will let you order the entire array of 19 sauces without giving you the side-eye (I really enjoy sauces). The menu is shockingly simple: Meat-eaters order the hot dog; Veggies order the Field Roast Vegan Sausage. Although the veg-dog lacks the pop and juiciness of the all-beef dog, it's still pretty tasty and can be slathered in 43/50 toppings (the Happy Dog notes all non-vegetarian offerings with an asterisk).   

Because Happy Dog thrives on live music, it's best to check and see whether there's a cover before you head over (cover is typically $5). As a general rule of thumb: GO polka with DJ Kishka (drinking Genesee and polka-ing has to be the Midwest version of heaven) or listen to the orchestra play. AVOID any unfamiliar mid-week bands unless you're in the mood for 3 hours of experimental synth jams.

You should probably learn the words to "Who Stole the Kishka?" 

Photo source: http://www.happydogcleveland.com/music.php

Dining with Down-Home Carnivores

The last time I visited my little sister in Findlay, Ohio, I saw a kid in an un-ironic cowboy hat practicing roping cattle in his front yard. Needless to see, after passing my second Texas Roadhouse in 2 miles, I was kind of skeptical about my brunching options, but followed the crowd to the Cracker Barrel. Although pushing aside the really sticky jigsaw puzzle that was resting right on top of my menu was kind of gross, the restaurant does have a shocking amount of veggie sides. Since I'm a poor sport about breakfast foods (basically, I only like granola), I skipped over the breakfast sides and ordered a handful of vegetable sides. 

Dining with Opened Minded Carnivores

Capitalizing on the success from their Westside Market stall, Orale opened up a brick and mortar restaurant on W.25th about a year ago. Although there's some stuff with chorizo, the vegan/vegetarian selections are really incredible. I think the vegan ravioli has to be one of my favorite meals in Cleveland. The restaurant has a special Vegan Tuesday menu, too!

Although dinner prices are a little expensive for my student loan budget, the restaurant is BYOB, so if you stop at the liquor store a few doors down pre-guacamole, you can save a few bills on cervezas. 

Late Night Dining with Partying Carnivores

Especially since 2 new bars have sprung up practically overnight (The Black Pig and Nano Brew), everyone is bar-crawling in Ohio City. Depending on how hungry you are and whether or not you can hail a taxi, there's a variety of places that you can stop in after-hours. 

My favorite late-night spot is Steve's Hot Dog Lunch on W.50th and Lorain. Steve's has been open for at least 60 years (according to local legend, it has only closed once- the day Kennedy was assassinated). Although there is no secret veg-menu, what Steve lacks in hand-formed black bean patties, it makes up for in opportunities to people-watch. For less than the price of 2 Great Lakes brews, you can munch on grilled cheese, fries, mushroom poppers, and pierogi while watching Cleveland's sassiest waitress serve the masses. Also, Steve's jukebox charges only a quarter per song. 

The view from Steve's counter. Photo source: http://radiusedcorner.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-cleveland-part-1-steves-lunch.html

The Westside Market Cafe is open from 11pm on Fridays and Saturday nights. The veggie selection is pretty heavy on the eggs (eggs and toast, egg sandwiches, omelettes). The restaurant does offer an interesting looking wild-mushroom grilled cheese too.