#clevegging

I think I may have had the most awful brunch in the history of holiday brunchin' Sunday, which is a bummer because I adore brunchin'. Everything on the menu was corn-beef centric, so I asked the waitress to have the chef make me anything sans carne. I was expecting a grilled cheese sandwich or something quick and I got a plate of boiled cabbage and boiled potatoes. I guess it was culturally appropriate (like i could pretend I was a mill-girl or some shit), but there is something about a paying for a boiled potato surprise that really makes you think HOLY SHIT, i should start cooking things for myself because it has to taste better than this.

So, I'm makin' a bean salad (mostly because beans are always on special at my grocery store). You should make it too: 

1.) Put on Bow Down. You're going to be cooking to Beyonce, naturally. Don't worry, the recipe is beyond remedial, so you can devote most of the cooking time to dancing around the kitchen with your dog.

2.) Make this dressing:

I found this recipe on Food.com via JustJanS. Although JanS seems like a very nice lady, I'm very jealous that she was in a villa in Bali (especially since the highlight of my spring break was a very long nap with my dog).

Here's Jan's work:

2 tablespoons lime juice (I ended up squeezed a lot extra lime juice over the salad before I served it because the olive oil was kind of overpowering)

2 tablespoons sugar  (I subbed in 1 teaspoon honey since I'm in a perma-sugar coma and I don't like to encourage it)

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 garlic clove, crushed

salt and pepper (I'm pretty sure my ex-roommate moved out with our saltshaker. But look, I just lowered your daily sodium intake!)

Directions:

Mix all together until the sugar has dissolved you get tired of mixing/you have to hit replay on the Beyonce, then serve over salad ingredients of your choice.

3.) For the salad: 

Mix together:

one can of pink beans

one can of black beans

one can of white beans

one pint of grape tomatos

sliced green onions

I fried up some zucchini and red onions in a pan with olive oil to mix in. I think they should caramelize or some shit, but my pan was way too small for all of things I stuffed in it and i didn't feel like going two rounds. I dumped it into the bean bowl when it looked done-ish and then dropped in a little more olive oil and fried up the tof (the whole adding oil to a hot saucepan was really and intimidating and probably dangerous, so I stood kind of far away and flung some oil in. I don't recommend this method and I'm pretty sure you've already thought of a better, less treacherous one). 

NOTE: definitely check out herbivoracious for an excellent primer on tofu fryin'. Basically, if you buy firm tofu, you don't have to bother with pressing the tofu, but you will need to gently press on the sliced tofu with a paper towel. If the tofu is still really wet when you drop it in the pan it will make this awful hissing noise and fry pretty unequally (read: it'll be wet and mushy on the inside). 

5.) Serve the salad chilled over cous-cous. It's also pretty delicious to mix in a little bit of hummus and spread the salad over a pita. 

VERDICT: salad was tasty, but the dressing definitely needs a little kick. Maybe I should add chipotle pepper next time? So, definitely better than both boiled potatoes and this suburban cris.