im always this kind

taking my brain out of my head and washing it in hot, soapy water

have you tried putting it in rice

in a comical turn of events, i, op of this post, have been a smartphone repair technician for five years and i am going to tell you that that never works like ever. it might turn on again afterward but it’s never the rice that made it happen. the damage is done and it can get worse if you don’t clean the thing properly. if you drop your phone in water, open it up and clean gently w a soft bristled toothbrush and 99% isopropyl alcohol. this has been a psa.

taking my brain out of my head and cleaning it gently with a soft bristled toothbrush and 99% isopropyl alcohol

yes I'm at Wendy's yes my cunt is out

they ain't the only bitch with a juicy $4 baconator

Just Let Him In

This painting right here, the boy…a boy is gonna be one of those paintings in like 30 something years, you’ll see in artbooks for college. I can feel it in my bones. 

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?

oh sheet

people: filled with sin dirt: filled with worms (a good and righteous thing)

#this post seems like catholic peasant shitposting from the year 1100  (via shellbeaste)

follow for more soft twelfth century catholicism

I'm going to say it. The (word in parentheses) meme is way better for tone indication than tone indicators

ouch i think i broke my vagina bones 

we can just post whatever we want on this site and no one will question it huh

yes

*meets u at a party* small talk is for posers, rate yr current level of existential dread from 1 to 10, let’s be emotionaly intimate forever starting now

id go catholic if the pope had a couple of big fat rock hard silicone titties

🌊

vibes