when you forget which language keyboard you were using: λολ

if i look back, i am lost
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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occasionally subtle
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@classical-katie
when you forget which language keyboard you were using: λολ

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In this love-story there was a man Who wanted to marry Cassandra And she was Priam’s bright-eyed neurotic Most beautiful daughter And he was OTHYRON the dreamer Who came from Cabesus with no money When he offered his life for her hand Her father accepted And so the dreamer went blushing into battle and died And everyone laughed and laughed Except Cassandra
from Memorial: An Excavation of the Iliad, Alice Oswald (via argonauticae)
Sicily by Giulia Bellato
please don’t read plato’s apology this literally will suffice
alternative titles for ancient lit
oedipus the king: the worst episode of 'how i met your mother' ever
oedipus at colonus: oepidus rex more like oedipus wreck
antigone: putting the fun in both funeral AND dysfunctional family
iphigenia at aulis: agamemnon why don't you agamem-not
medea: reasons why couples therapy is necessary
agamemnon: agamemnon is agamem-no more
the iliad: wars and homos
the odyssey: finding nemo
the poetry of sappho: the Gaysthetic(tm)
the aeneid: aeneas and the trojans' not-so-excellent adventure
the satyricon: no, we don't know what's happening, either
the poetry of catullus: sappho, if sappho were a 13 year old boy
the poetry of horace: 1000 reasons to hate trees
commentary on the gallic wars: a catalog of interesting gallic peoples whom caesar utterly destroyed

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Acropolis Athens,Greece Barbara Blue© 2015
virginia woolf wrote an essay called ‘on not knowing greek’ and i relate to that immensely
“Maybe the Romans read it and got so bored that they decided to dissolve their empire.”
Erechtheion, Acropolis of Athens
The Painted Garden of the Villa of Livia.

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Ostia Antica (7th century BC - 9th century AD), harbor city of Ancient Rome, an excellently preserved ancient site.
(1,2,3)
Arch of Titus and Colosseum by giannidedom
THE CAMBRIDGE LATIN COURSE: STAGE I
CAECILIUS (OUR HERO) EST IN FUCKING HORTO (GARDEN). CAECILIUS IS ALWAYS IN THE FUCKING HORTO. HE HAS A WHOLE VILLA, BUT HE’S ALWAYS JUST FUCKING AROUND IN THE HORTO.
METELLA (HIS WIFE) IN ATRIO (ATRIUM) SEDET (SITS). METELLA IS A FUCKING GREAT HOUSEWIFE. SHE JUST SEDET ALL THE TIME. USUALLY IN THE ATRIO, BUT SOMETIMES IN THE HORTO TOO. SHE NEVER AMBULAT (WALKS) THOUGH. NEVER. SHE COULD BE ANYWHERE, BUT SHE IS ALWAYS SEDENS. ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
ANCILLA (A SLAVE GIRL) PULCHRA (PRETTY) EST. ANCILLA GRUMIONEM (THE COOK) DELECTAT (PLEASES). GRUMIO FUTUTOR MATRIS SCELESTUS EST (A CREEPY MOTHERFUCKER).
HOW THE FUCK DID WE GET 2000 NOTES ON THIS QUASI-EDUCATIONAL BULLSHIT?
Myth - Muriel Rukeyser, originally from Breaking Open (1973)
Petition to stop calling ancient Greek and Latin ‘dead’ languages and start calling them ‘undead languages’ because they’re still up and lurching around and will absolutely ravage your brain

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someone: the classics are so refined
diogenes: i'm gonna throw a chicken at plato and then i'm gonna reward myself by whacking it in public
vase painters: how many dicks do you think are enough? at least 5
aristophanes: you need 3 fart soundboards to perform this play properly
lucian: the moon is full of gay people, anyway let's argue about whether sleeping with girls or boys is better
catullus: i want to make out infinity times with my girlfriend
the entire roman senate: ostensibly we are a respectable body but actually we are a preschool full of man-sized babies
ovid: haha then what ;)
horace: i fucking hate this goddamn tree also hey wanna hear about a wet dream i had
martial: you're hot but you queef too much so i don't want to have sex with you
someone: such elegance
“It definitely was not lesbian enough, first off.”