i am the human equivalent of a shitpost

here he comes

here he comes

here he comes

Finish this christmas song! Dashing through the

supermarket hurredly, i need to find syrup. i need all the syrup i can buy. enough to fill 4 bathtubs. im going to cover myself in syrup and slide around the ground to acheive maximum velocity. get ready world im coming your way fast

a friend of mine made an edit of my shitpost so that’s neat

as a child i knew sumthin was up wit this scene

..go on…….

i lead you into the barn where i live and offer you snacks and refreshments. it’s a bowl of minnows and 3 caprisun pouches

accept the capri sun, cautiously refuse the minnows

i tell you that it’s fine, leaves more for me, but you can tell im a little hurt. we watch cutthroat kitchen in silence, i seem to be attempting to drink my caprisun through my gas mask, but im failing miserably. you say nothing.

i say nothing

at one point i go into a shed and bring out more caprisun pouches and a single triscuit for you

Thanks

youre welcome

Too depressed to be awake? Not depressed enough for a Depression Nap™? Welcome to Existential Crisis Wrapped in Blanket!

what the actual fuck

Men don’t know women can pee

ive been sitting on the toilet for 20 minutes trying to piss but the pee keeps getting lost in my confusing Woman Body

i haven’t peed in 16 days… my pee keeps running into the minotaur in the labyrinth that is my Womanly Excretory System

I feel like Taylor Swift has been suspiciously quiet and that scares me like she could pop up at anytime and give me an album full of her two note range songs that no one asked for and I’ll have to deal with them on the radio for the next three years

You guys drain me in the comments, you can act like you guys hate her and her music as much as you want. But when that masc dude who fucked you for 3 months leaves you on read and never contacts you again, it’ll be you listening to ‘White Horse’ crying at 2am smh

me giving my pet chihuahua two kisses: chimuahmuah

@m0rdecaw