TK.

Who would I be without you

If love is death then I’d wanna get me killed by you

Dylan Taylor.

A young man who deserved more. Deserved more respect. More friends. More love. More money. More loyalty. More care. More people who reminded him how truly amazing and important he was- and still is.

Dylan lost his life April 26th 2026 and he was 26 years old. And he deserved more. Why you ask? Why is he so special compared to the rest of all of us?

Well let me tell you, he cared. Truly loved. And he actually tried. There’s many people like Dylan out there but in my story Dylan is the one and only who shared everything that made me feel like a black sheep. The one person in the entire universe who has ever and will ever make me feel truly at peace with being who I really am. He really heard me. And he tried to correct me when he felt I was wrong. He was willing to teach me and to learn from me. He was willing to hold me while I was crying and listen to my sad music. And he was also willing to thug out and fangirl over suicideboys with me. He was the only one who never judged me. And even when he might have disagreed with my stand point in things he always , always tried his best to see me. Truly hear me. There’s not many people willing to actually do that in the world. Such an imperfectly perfect human being. Who just… deserved more than the world gave him. Than what I was able to give him. I always wanted him to feel loved no matter what version of himself he was willing to show. And I am confident that I was able to do that. But that doesn’t bring him back or even tell him how loved he was. He will never know so much… and that will forever haunt me for the rest of my days. I will never be able to turn to him again and that will keep me from being able to sleep at night. When all you want is that one person the one person who you didn’t even realize was your true soulmate until it was too late- that changes you as a person.

And I know it’s up to me to either change for the good or for the worst…. But the truth is I am not strong enough to push myself through one path or the other. Basically I am only strong enough to stay stagnant and let whatever is to happen - happen. And I can only hope my fate don’t become what his did. Because I love hard and I don’t wanna not love at all. I don’t wanna be stuck. I don’t wanna be alone. I don’t wanna be dead too.

But fuck my life is already so fucking lonely…sad… boring… quiet without Dylan Taylor that I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to truly recover from this trauma from this feeling of loss.

I love you Dylan Taylor. Forever snd for always. You’re my favourite human. Always will be. I hope I actually see you again. I hope you knew what I tried to be for you. And I hope you’ve moved on the way I have to. I hope there’s a life beyond this life. And i won’t ever forget you Dylan. You meant more to me than I could even express.

It doesn’t matter - because I’m not gonna let myself care about it

And if there’s anything that I’m good at doing - it’s pretending I don’t miss someone

And I do that till I really don’t.

The worst pain I’ve ever felt… was with you.

You made me feel like everything was going to be better like I was safe you made me feel more positive emotions than I even know how to convey. You made me feel like I was going to actually grow. I gave a little more to you. I tried a little harder. I was a little more understanding. A little more humbled. I was a little more softer I was a little more open.

I say a little… but I really actually mean … a lot. I stopped punching holes in walls n smashing my head off of concrete. I stopped trying to kill myself. I started living with my consequences I started taking accountability… I wasn’t perfect but I wish i could make you understand compared to before. I sure as shit would consider myself to be. At least damn well close to it anyways.