spectacle.

i was approached by a very nice and understanding mun today about ricky’s significance in this film, and what his role was representing ie. the ( bad ) way people of asian descent have been treated in hollywood / the whitewashing of them as well. they were kind enough to explain why i shouldn’t be writing him, and after hearing that explanation, i 100% understand and have agreed not to write jupe, as i have no way of deeply understanding the struggles that were explained to me. this blog will stay up, just so people can read this specific post, but i won’t be active / writing here.

                gentle  hands  reach  over  to  smooth  ricky’s  collar.  amber  takes  a  big  breath  in  and  a  slow  exhale.  she  hand  feel  the  hard  thudding  of  his  heart  in  his  chest.  “  when  the  water’s  moving  faster  than  the  boat,  you  can’t  control  a  thing.  ”  she  said  quietly.  “  we  just  got  to  take  this  one  day  at  a  time  all  right  ?  slow  down  a  little.  ”

the doctor raised a dubious eyebrow. admittedly, the sweltering heat — and his general distaste for amusement parks — might well be contributing to his opinion of the place, but something about it all felt sketchy at best. “ … right. so, this family show of yours next week — it’s what, exactly? ”

it appears that both of them have made a home of the past; while mary jo hasn’t seen kid sheriff in twenty-some years, it’s obvious the influence it’s had on ricky’s choice of theme park — the name itself is telling:   jupiter’s claim. mary jo has little room to talk, however. she’s wearing the face of a girl that has not existed for years, but it’s all she has. acting may have been her mother’s choice for her daughter’s life, but mary jo is unprepared for anything else. gordy’s assault only cemented this.

the veil masks a wide grin in response to ricky’s welcome. she’s missed him; perhaps in the same way that mary jo’s missed an entire life she once dreaded, but she’d like to think it’s a lot more amicable than that. she chooses to sign her response; it’s an infinitely easier form of communication for mary jo since the infamous attack.   

<< grown up kid sheriff. >>   she teases fondly,   << i was surprised to hear from you. >>

RICKY   DIDN’T   ASK.   that   sort   of   open   trust   makes   me   wonder   where   it   comes   from.   not   that   i   don’t   appreciate   the   polite   hospitality,   i   do,   but   as   ricky   hands   me   the   beer   ——————   there   is   a   level   of   suspicion   that   i’m   trying   to   shake.   i’ve   been   here   for   two   weeks,   hardly   any   time,   yes,   but   it’s   as   if   i’m   almost   too   welcome.   it’s   bizarre,   but   i   am   the   one   who   needed   a   place   to   stay.   ricky   is   giving   me   that.   i   should   be   thankful.   as   difficult   as   it   is   to   be   the   third   wheel   to   their   domestic   fucking   bliss,   i   keep   my   head   down.   isn’t   that   a   useful   skill?   and   now?   the   drink,   the   way   we   sit   on   the   steps?   it’s   too   familiar,   even   if   we’ve   known   each   other   for   decades.   ❛❛      thank   you.      ❜❜

the   bottle   is   cold,   but   i   don’t   take   a   sip   just   yet.   the   sweat   is   letting   loose   the   adhesive   on   the   label,   and   my   thumb   is   working   it   off   gently,   slowly.   i’m   thinking,   i’m   always   thinking,   and   as   i   settle   my   gaze   on   ricky,   i   can’t   help   it:   ❛❛      why   haven’t   you   asked?      ❜❜   it’s   honest,   and   while   it   comes   out   a   little   sharper   than   i   intended,   it   remains   the   same.   i   clear   my   throat,   and   i   realize   that   it’s   unfair   to   snap   at   the   man   that’s   taken   me   in.   i   try   again:   ❛❛      i   would   have   the   instant   you   stepped   through   the   door.   i   suppose   that’s   the   difference   between   us.      ❜❜   out   of   several,   more   than   i   can   count.   ignoring   the   question   about   walking   around      …      yes,   i   did.   who   cares?   i   didn’t   want   to   be   stuck   there,   making   awkward   conversation.   offering   to   clean,   offering   to   cook.   they   are   too   nice   to   let   me   do   so.   it’s   unnerving.   finally,   a   sip   of   beer.   i’m   nervous,   brow   twitching   under   frames.   ❛❛      you   can   ask.      ❜❜

             you can ask. but does he want to? part of jupe does, he supposed. the part of him that was nosey, and curious. what could cho sang-woo, snu graduate, momma’s boy, top class business man, possibly be running from? ricky, of course, had his suspicions. the law could get a man on many a charge, and if it had anything to do with money... jupe glanced at sang-woo from the corner of his eye before taking a long pull from his bottle, stare grazing across the starry sky, allowing a moment of quiet between the two. when he finally had no excuse to keep from replying, jupe cleared his own throat, giving a thoughtful shrug as his first response.

              there are no words for this.  there is no precedent—not for the specific disasters which have unfolded around them.  but,  if she does know one thing,  it is how immeasurable pain and loss feels.  and furthermore,  what it is like to carry such a heavy burden of grief and trauma all alone.  forgotten and forsaken…she refuses to allow him to endure this in solitude.  that kind of damage is next to impossible to mend  (  she is breathing proof of that  ).  magnolia carries nothing but compassion and gentleness as she settles in front of him,  perched on the edge of her coffee table before the couch where he rests.  concern covers her features as she observes jupe.  she doubts she can get him to eat anything.  at the very least,  he should stay hydrated.  ❛  i can make you some tea,  if you would like that better,  ❜  she offers  ❛  i have some blends that could help you feel a little more calm.  ❜   even as she signs it,  she has a suspicion he will not accept.  but she wonders if she makes it,  he might be more inclined to drink out of nothing but politeness.  hesitantly,  she reaches out her hand and lightly places it on one of his forearms.  

𝐋𝐄𝐆   𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃   𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑   𝐇𝐄𝐑   𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐄,   a   folder   and   pad   of   paper   resting   against   her   thigh   .   typically,   she   doesn’t   do   house   visits,   prefers   to   handle   business   her   own   office   .   but   decided   to   go   out   on   a   limb   for   him   .   it   seemed   easier   for   both   of   them   for   her   to   join   him   here   .   “   by   law,   when   they   purchase   a   ticket   to   enter,   they   are   taking   on   all   known   risks.   it’s   in   the   fine   print.   ”   she   opens   the   folder   on   her   lap,   reading   over   something   before   shutting   it   again   .   “   so   there   is   a   chance   we   wouldn’t   have   to   get   them   to   sign   a   waiver   at   all   .   however   -   that   depends   on   what   kind   of   attraction   you   want   to   add.”   eye   meet   his   .   “   is   this   the   could   possibly   kill   you   kind   of   attraction   or   slightly   maim   kind   of   attraction   ?”

             normally, jupe wouldn’t let others see this side of him. the anxious, crumbling side. the traumatized one. he was good at hiding it away, covering it up with busy work and grand gestures and smoke and mirrors. not today. poor oj had caught him at the most inopportune time - the day was a long and tiring one. all of the kids running around, the adults unable to wrangle them. his own kids were needy, and as much as jupe wanted to be there for them, he could only do so many things at once. and where had that boy gotten that balloon? the plastic gave a number to a car dealership, seen just before the thing had exploded. it may have sounded like a normal pop to everyone else, but to jupe, it was a grenade. everyone down! at least he’d managed to stow himself away before the shallow breaths and sweat had begun, but not far enough for him to hide from oj.

send 💭 + a topic for a headcanon about jupe.