Ø C̷i̷r̷c̷e̷ Ø

im so supposed to be asleep by now, especially bc i have an exam in the morning, but fuck this is exactly what (A) wants and its actually fucking working fml.. i really fucking wish i could remember wtf they did to our previous relationships, becausde then maybe i could be of some fucking use and not just be sat there saying ‘idk’ and making them worry about me. they really are going to stick by their word and ruin everything for me. it is affecting them so badly and fuck i feel so guilty for it. ik its not technically me doing it nor is it technically my fault, but it feels like it is and fuck. they do not deserve any of this shit at all.

oh wow we still havent eaten aa

everythings bad. everythings so bad. everything always goes wrong fuckin hell… i knew he wasnt coming back. part of me, at first, thought he would come back. that he’d come back, we’d all talk things out and things may be at least semi resolved and things would go back to ‘normal’. whatever that is, because idfk at this point. but the longer we waited, the more i started to really think about it all. and soon enough there was not even one possible scenario i could think of where he comes back. only me and him really knew. everyone else believed, or at least wanted to believe, that he would come back. but fuckkk…