don’t speak to me or my son ever again!!!!

Hi, I’m Miles. You might have seen me around on the internet. For lack of a better option, I’ve turned to my last resort.

The Situation

I’m currently living with my dad. The issue however though is that I need to move out at the end of the year. I’m not being directly forced, however, my dad has become a lot more aggressive and physically violent after his stroke last year. I don’t feel safe living here right now with the current situation. He has also been preventing me from seeking appropriate medical care for some of my issues, both physical and mental. 

I suffer from diagnosed schizophrenia, and was on medication as well as heading towards a path of recovery when he suddenly refused to keep taking me to go to my psychiatrist appointments. I currently can’t drive because of my aforementioned condition. It’s extremely disabling and effects how well I can care for myself as well as what I am able to do. Because of this, I am unable to sustain a job or attempt to go to my psychological appointments by myself, as I am financially dependent on him. Even worse, we lost our health insurance a little while after he stopped taking me to my appointments. I haven’t been to a doctor in a little under a year, and he’s been withholding from putting aside money so I can go even when I desperately need to.

Thus, I’m turning to my only method of escape. It really pains me to do this, but I see no other way out of the place I’m in. More details under the cut.

sometimes I feel I’ve got to

DUN DUN

run away I’ve got to

DUN DUN

The first word is “vermil” from the word vermilion which is a shade of red. This term can be used by nonbinary people who present in a traditionally masculine way without necessarily being masc aligned or solarian. The symbol in the center of the flag is the elemental sign for fire. The word + flag design were made to replicate the solarian flag’s warm colors and association with the sun, fire, and “masculine” energies.

The next word is “cerul” from the word cerulean which is a shade of blue. This term can be used by nonbinary people who present in a traditionally feminine way without necessarily being fem aligned or lunarian. The symbol in the center of the flag is the elemental sign for water. The word + flag design were made to replicate the lunarian flag’s cool colors and association with the moon, water, and “feminine” energies.

The final word is “pewt” from the word pewter which is a shade of gray. This term can be used by nonbinary people who present in an androgynous way without necessarily being unaligned or stellarian. The symbol in the center of the flag is a combination of the elemental signs for earth and air. 

have you ever seen a junebug get to grips with a window screen? it’s remarkably persistent, but not very focused. all that matters is location.

how to junebug: choose the location you feel you can probably get some shit done on today. be specific. not ‘the bathroom’ but ‘the bathroom sink’. you are not choosing a range, you are choosing a center; you will move around, but your location is where you’ll keep coming back to. mentally stick a pin in it. consider yourself tethered to that spot by a long mental bungee cord.

go to your location. look at stuff. move stuff around. do a thing. get distracted. remember you’re junebugging the bathroom sink and go back there. look at it some more. do a different thing. get distracted. get a sandwich. remember you’re junebugging and go back to the bathroom sink.

nt’s will go crazy watching you, and if they demand to know When You Will Be Done you will probably have to roll them in a carpet and stuff them up the chimney. you’re done when you feel done, or you’re too bored to live, or it’s bedtime, or any number of other markers, you get to pick. but the thing is, by returning repeatedly to that one spot, you harness the ‘hyperactivity’ part instead of wasting all that energy battling with the ‘attention deficit’ part.

not only will the bathroom sink almost certainly be clean, and probably the mirror and soap dish too, you might’ve swapped in a fresh toothbrush, a new soap, you might’ve unclogged the drain – you will probably also have cleaned or fixed up several things in the near vicinity, or in the path between the sink and where you get the fresh toothbrush, or maybe you did your grocery shopping cuz you were out of soap, or maybe you couldn’t find a clean hand towel and ended up doing laundry.

this is good. you got shit done! it wasn’t necessarily Cleaned The Bathroom in the way nt’s think of it, but screw ‘em. things are better than they were.