Smokey fantasies

Hi there,

Thanks for the question. I think you might be pretty new to BDSM so, let me start by saying when it comes to identity, recognize that bdsm has an unbelievable spectrum of people within it and identity is often more complicated than a single title. Maybe all of them are part of you but some are more pronounced than others. You don’t need to adopt any of them, but at least you’ll have the language to talk about different approaches to BDSM.

A faggot, omega, or boy could all identify as a title other than the ones I use to describe them. But that’s a great conversational point. Both submissives and dominants have a duty to talk about what their title means to them, and how it is unique to them. Just because someone calls themselves an Alpha does not mean that all Alphas have the same set of traits as one another. In this way you can have a title that’s unique to you, but still lead someone to get to know you in the first few minutes of conversation.

I’ll go into some definitions below but all of the titles mentioned in this article are different flavors of submission. They are different and one should respect whatever title is given to you by a dominant or a submissive. Not respecting titles is rude and will cause you to miss out on play and deservedly so. Be aware that more experienced kinksters can tell a newbie apart from an experienced player in just a few sentences of conversation. It’s ok to be new, but listen when other kinksters who’ve been at it longer tell you how BDSM works. You’ll grow much faster.

As to the second part of your question, please also note that no submissive is inherently inferior, and there aren’t gradients of inferiority defined by a title a submissive takes on. A submissive’s inferiority is defined by the submissive himself. If he feels inferior and wants to be treated that way, he’ll tell his dominant as much. Not all submissives feel they are inferior, but all of them do feel the call to serve a dominant of whatever flavor they prefer. Make sure you take the time to get to know a boy and his kinks before treating him as an inferior or you could get a quick rebuke.

Recognize that behavior and titles are not linked. Not every submissive you meet is a boy. Not every submissive you meet is a faggot. Take a moment to get to know them a little and ask about their preferred title and use it. One of the number one ways people have accidentally pissed off @bredbeta was to refer to him as a faggot. He is a boy and despises the term faggot.

Please also note that when it comes to these definitions? These are more guides to display how a view point a submissive has on his submission is what’s important. There IS NO one universal definition for these terms in the BDSM culture and many people will give you slightly different definitions.

- Beta/Boy: A Beta’s primary motivation is respect. A beta will often say to himself “is this person worthy of my submission?” He takes a great deal of pride in his submission. He prefers that he feel respected and protected by his Alpha/Dom/Sir. That respect is central to who he is. Betas draw confidence from the one they serve and are often personally bettered by serving one they deem fit to serve. Their submission is strength to them because they feel like a better stronger person by giving up control to someone worthy of it. Beta’s often seek out Alphas who exhibit strengths where they have weaknesses or who embody ideals, they wish they had. 

Beta: “I submit because I am strong, not because I am weak.”

- Omega: An omega’s motivating factor is to be treated as “below” others. An omega wants to be at the bottom of any established pecking order. He desires to be made to feel that he is rarely (if ever) considered. Whether that consideration be his feelings, his well-being, or his needs. His NEED is simply to be used and then ignored. He enjoys being used in absolutely any way he can. Note: it is abuse to completely disregard another person’s needs and wellbeing even when they ask for it. Don’t do that. Be a responsible dominant. Establish limits for yourself. Stay within them.

Omega: “I submit because I am weak and you are stronger/superior.” 

- Faggot: A Faggot is motivated by dick (and many times cum). They revel in the sensations of being a slut. At the end of the day a faggot is most happy when he has taken all (or given) the dick and/or jizz that he possibly could. If that goal is accomplished, faggots don’t seem to usually mind putting up with insults or disrespect so long as they are allowed to meet their goal.

Faggot: “I’m a bitch huh? This bitch took 30 dicks today. No one fucks better than me.”

- Slave: A slave is motivated by service to a dominant. Sometimes that service is domestic, a slave will clean, get dry cleaning, run errands, and often gets a great personal pleasure knowing that the man he deems worthy of his service doesn’t have to “waste his time” on the little things. Often a slave’s service is sexual. You can see examples of this all over tumblr, but a decent example is any of those instances you see a guy sucking off a dominant while gaming, eating, or reading. Slave is also one of the titles that varies the most in terms of what the speaker means when he says “slave”.