Enjin's Wife

“Sweetheart, while I’m absolutely thrilled about a new baby,” Bro began gently. “We don’t know how Dear will react to the news.”

You sigh, running your hand across your mug of tea that had long gone cold. “I know. Ideally, he would be excited about being a big brother, but I kind of get the feeling I know how he will react.”

“We’ve made so much progress. I don’t want him to regress…” your husband seemed exhausted as he ran a hand through his hair.

“I know…” you say. “First and foremost, we have to reassure him that our family is not going anywhere, just because we’re getting a new member.”

You and Bro took two weeks to try to come up with a way to broach the topic with Dear, namely cause you didn’t know the best way to address it and two, bouts of morning sickness had begun to settle in. Dear who was always attuned to the littlest things as it pertained to you, fussed over you with such concerns that you eventually couldn’t hide that you weren’t sick, but having a baby.

Of course, trying to explain in layman’s terms to a 4-year old wasn’t the easiest, but only two things registered in Dear’s mind.

1. There would be a new baby

2. The new baby would take your attention.

And as expected, he didn’t like that.

However, Dear wasn’t one to really throw tantrums. He outgrew his fussy behavior rather quickly. But as the months of your pregnancy progressed, you noticed his change in behavior quickly although it was subtle: Dear was avoiding you.

Any time you tried to pick him up, Dear would eye your belly and run away. He refused your attempts to play with his toys, hogging them all when you tried to join. He’d even throw a fit if you tried to give him a bath, so Bro had to start taking over your nightly bedtime routine which intensified the ache in your chest just as much as Dear no longer reciprocating your hugs.

But what stung even worse was the fact that your baby now refused to do all the little things he used to love doing together with you to bond.

“He hates me,” you cry. Bro sits beside you, rubbing soothing circles on your back. At this point, you were nearly eight months pregnant and as your due date drew nearer, it seemed like the more Dear pulled away, and it was breaking your heart. “I don’t know what to do. He will barely hug me.”

“Dear doesn’t hate you,” Bro reassured. “This is a confusing time for him right now. He’s only four, and he doesn’t have the ability to vocalize coherently what all he’s feeling at the moment. And that’s not his fault. Deep down, he loves you more than arguably anyone else here—“ you manage a weak chuckle, making your husband smile. “I think you both just need to have a heart to heart. Reaffirm that love.”

Later, you find Dear in the baby’s nursery, next door to you and Bro’s room and across from his. It surprised you to find him there, just staring at the empty crib. He appeared deep in thought, making you wonder what could possibly be going on in his head.

“You know, in a few short weeks, your little brother or sister will be sleeping there?” You say gently. Dear startled briefly, but relaxed seeing it was you who entered. If you had to suspect, he seemed rather bashful at being caught some place he wasn’t supposed to be. You waddle over to the rocking chair and take a seat, feeling relief to be off your feet. “Will you come sit with me for a bit?”

Dear looked between you and the crib, seemingly hesitating. He then shuffled over to you, still rather unsure. You hold your arms out and much to your relief, Dear reciprocates, allowing you to pick him up and set him beside you.

“Oof, you’re getting so big now. I need to stay in shape to be able to keep picking you up,” you joke. Dear relaxes as you ruffle his hair. He sinks into your embrace, leaning against your side as you rock the chair back and forth. The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, and it made you realize how much you missed spending one-on-one time with him.

Over the last few months, you had been nothing but busy, pulled in every direction. Between doctor’s visits, work with the Cleaners, and trying to prepare a space for your new addition to the family, you honestly hadn’t been spending the proper time with Dear like you should have. It was no wonder he built up a seeming bitter resentment towards you. How could you not if your favorite person in the world started ignoring you?

“Dear,” you finally decide to address the elephant in the room. “When the new baby arrives, there will times that he or she will take up all of mine and Bro’s attention. It’s not that we’re trying to ignore you, but it’s because babies need a little extra help until they can learn how to do the same things you and I know how to do.” At Dear’s perplexed look, you add, “For example, do you need my help to feed you or get dressed anymore?”

Face scrunching, Dear quickly shakes his head, seemingly insulted you even asked.

“Exactly,” you laugh. You place a hand on his head, running your fingers through his hair. “But I am aware that you still need me as well, just in different ways. And I realize that I haven’t been doing a good job as of late, and for that, I’m sorry. It is never my intention to ignore you or make you feel unwanted. That will never be the case.”

Tears well in Dear’s blue eyes as he stares up at you. And suddenly, he breaks down crying. His pacifier slips from his mouth as his sobs intensify. He reaches out for you, which you accept with no hesitation. You pull him into your chest, cradling him as he cries. Dear’s small hands fist the front of your shirt tightly.

Dear hardly ever cried. So you could only imagine how much he had been bottling everything up, ignoring his feelings or simply, not understanding what they were.

“I’m sorry, Dear,” you say softly. “We spent this whole time trying to get you excited about being a big brother without taking into consideration your feelings. And with everyone else in base fretting over the baby too, you got pushed to the side.” You cup his cheek, using your sleeve to dry his tears.

“Listen closely Dear. I have so much love for you in my heart that I can’t even put it into words. That will never change, even when your new sibling arrives, whom I love just as much. It will never be a competition. You are an important part of my family, Dear, and no matter how big you get, you will always be my baby.”

Present Day

10-year old Dear Santa walked through Canvas Town with his brother, 6-year old Noel Santa, in tow.

Despite the energetic atmosphere of the art filled city, his bleary eyed little brother had been all sniffles the moment they had accidentally gotten separated from their parents in the marketplace. Dear being the responsible older brother, remained dutifully calm as he knew just where to go.

Nonetheless, Dear’s cool demeanor didn’t stop Noel from crying.

“Dia-nii san, where are we going?” Noel sniffles. “Are we lost? W-we’re lost aren’t we? Oh no, we are! We’re lost! Does that mean we’re never gonna see mama and papa again? T-then that means we’ll never see Uncle Zanka or TT Semiu either! W-we’re gonna—“

Dear stopped, causing Noel to bump into him. The elder boy tried to suppress a sigh for his brother was such a cry baby. It irked him to no end how much Noel seemed to be able to cry. And often times for the littlest things too. Noel once cried seeing an injured bird because he felt bad that it couldn’t fly.

However, seeing his brother’s genuine distress, Dear’s expression softened. As he turned to face the shorter boy, he ruffled Noel’s short hair, the strands the same shade as their mother’s. The gesture seemed to do the trick as Noel stopped crying, rubbing the remaining tears out of his eyes.

“I’m sorry. Dia-nii, you must have a plan,” Noel said. Dear huffed, an obvious smug sound as if to insinuate ‘of course I do, dummy,’ which makes Noel giggle. “You’re right. You always do. I don’t know why I was scared.”

Dear nods affirmatively. Hand-and-hand the two of them make their way to Mayor Rido’s place, Dear knowing the man to be a friend (and therefore safe place) of the Cleaners. Needless to say, the Mayor was surprised to see the two children by themselves, but was able to quickly get in contact with the rest of the Cleaners to let them know that the brothers were safe.

While they wait, they indulge themselves in the cookies Rido had. Ironically, while Dear had a massive sweet tooth, Noel wasn’t partial to them, only ever eating them to copy his elder brother.

That wasn’t the only stark difference between the Santa Brothers. Noel, when he wasn’t a teary-eyed mess, was a chatterbox with no off-button. Dear merely listened and observed.

“And then, TT Semiu said that when the bad guys tried to break in, she stopped them on her own like bam!” Noel demonstrated with a fake punch. When Dear didn’t react, Noel directed the next punch to Dear’s shoulder, making the elder scowl. “Diaaa are you listening? You aren’t, are you?” Dear huffed dismissively, only partially tuned into whatever Noel was rambling on about. Not that it seemed to deter the 6-year old who merely took it as a sign to keep prattling on.

“Okay! Then! Then! Her glasses showed her where to hit when the bad guy tried to sneak up on her like wham! And then! She hit them like pow! And then—“

“Good grief. Was he even stopping long enough to breathe?” Dear wondered when the door suddenly opened with an aggressive slam, almost puncturing a hole in the wall.

“My babies!”

You are beside yourself the moment you arrive, barreling into the building with the force of a trash beast. Bro trails after, giving the mayor a weak, apologetic smile for his wife’s dramatic behavior.

“Mama!” Noel’s demeanor does a completely 180 as he begins crying again when you pick him up, hugging him closely. “I thought I wouldn’t see you again.”

“I’m just so glad you are both safe,” you sigh, your shoulder sagging in relief. You brush his messy hair out of his face, cleaning his tear streaked cheeks. “This is why I warned you about paying attention to your surroundings. The moment I turned around, you had wandered off.”

“M’sorry. But thankfully Dia-nii knew where to go!”

Dear let out another unamused huff, but his cheeks turned pink, clearly bashful. You smile and motion for him to come closer. Your eldest sheepishly shuffles over and once he was in reach, you smother him against your chest.

“Thank you for looking after your brother, Dear. I’m so glad you’re such a dependable older brother.”