Mrs. Inconsistent

When I saw Ichiya for first time I laughed a bit, because Senya looks so smol near him, even if Ichi isn't much older.

lil eepy beam

Ichiya looks better – healthier, neater. And we see how strong he is for his age and how good his fighting technique is.

So I thought, if his family were some kind of inspired by this ideology of Honki Persons and teach him about it?

His father could have been a warrior, and would have trained little Ichiya in fighting techniques, warrior morale.

It often happens in the media that friendship and love (platonic or not) between men in fights, rivalry. Anyone who can equal you or try to surpass you forces you to become better. The stronger your friend, the stronger you are, and vice versa.

And also, it seems to me that his father said, that it is better to die at the hands of a strong opponent than the miserable death of a coward. Years in war take their toll on a man's morality.

Not that this is very good, but for men of that time, who were always in wars, it might make sense.

But why was Ichiya on the street? I think, his family was killed. The same people who killed Ichiya and Senya in the future. But little Ichiya did not understand the reasons for the murder of his family.

Ichiya was the only one left alive, and, frightened, he decided to become stronger so as not to be killed/die so dishonorably. And since childhood, he tried to become stronger by fighting stronger people - we see this in the episode where he defeats that huge man.

So when Senya wanted to be like Ichiya and start becoming better in fight, Ichiya counted it. It was good – becoming stronger, and he liked to be someone, who is «stronger» now.

But when Senya didn't fight harder against him? He considered this an insult. So he doesn't think Ichiya is strong enough. It made him angry because what was the point? So he acted harder, fought more aggressively, to bring back the heat of battle with his friend. Allegory of anxious-preoccupied attachment, kekekeke. Because how can he become Honki Person if even his close friend and best rival doesn't consider him worthy of a good fight?

And when Ichiya fell ill, the thought that his father taught him arose in his head - a miserable death. And it is much better to die at the hands of a strong opponent. Who was Ichiya's strong opponent? Right!

So, unable to recover, he chose another path, which he considered better than a death from illness. But was it really better?

The fact that his friend didn't want to actually fight to the death hurt him. Again, for the same reason - Ichiya considered it a deep disrespect from Senya.

He often did that, leaving you small sonnets around the house while he was away at work. His fancy for poetry and writing had endured since his noble youth in ancient Khaenri’ah, a love untouched by time. This way, even when he’s away, he still manages to bring a smile to your face first thing in the mornings.

You’d find other letters elsewhere. One day, he’d leave it in your study room:

“The pen and paper you write in get graced by your wisdom. The tomes that line your shelves store knowledge for your interest, each page covets your attention. Share your discoveries with me when I am back, my divine.” 

Another, he’d hide it by the dresser:

“When you don your attire for the day, the stars and moons would gasp in awe. Yet it is I alone who bear witness to your truest splendor. I count the second until I may once again gather you in my arms, to undo every silken layer-” 

Oops, never mind. Best not to read that one aloud. Too intimate for wandering eyes. Either way, throughout the months, you’d collect these little love letters, always keeping them safe as a memo, giddy whenever you reread them, or stashing them happily for safekeeping. For such excellent penmanship, the Jester truly deserves some extra adoration from you. 

✧ Il Capitano – Exotic flowers and seeds from all over Teyvat

‘Is a bouquet of flowers too cliche a gift for someone you miss?’ – the Harbinger pondered to himself. He stood by the outskirts of Kannazuka, not far from Yashiori Island, where the solemn sea breeze swept by crimson Dendrobium petals. He heard from locals that these flowers were thought to be instinct, yet returned to where blood was once spilled on Inazuman soil.

You’d appreciate the austere symbolism of such flora, and the Captain knelt before carefully picking it by the stem. He paid respect to each bloom, as any warrior who understands the grievances of a quiet battlefield would. Thus, by the time his mission drew to its quiet end, the 1st of the Fatui Harbinger appeared with a bouquet presented to your arms.

“Hm? You plucked these, Capi?” – You looked at him curiously, the bouquet massive in your arms. “But that means they will wilt soon.”

The Captain’s helmet dipped slightly, his unreadable face betraying a flicker of hesitance. Perhaps this was a bad idea?

“...I apologize, do you dislike them?”

You smiled at him, with meticulous swiftness, you moved with the bouquet, searching for an appropriate vase, and to fill it with water. The Dendrobiums were indeed exquisite, yet what you desired was their preservation, especially if such blossoms bore no seeds to sow. Thus, your beloved watched in fascinated silence as you showed him how to remove extraneous leaves and guard petals. It will help the flowers last longer. Now, the Captain had more ideas.

During his other expeditions, he no longer sought out just any flowers; he would seek intel on horticulture or where to purchase high-quality seeds. If he’d purchased flowers, he’d barter for seeds rather than stems and purchase plants nestled in earthen pots. If only you had witnessed the face of the poor Mondstadtian girl who overlooked the Floral Whisper shop - Flora. She went silent as to why a Harbinger was questioning how to properly maintain Windwheel Aster during transport. In truth, he was so excited to bring his beloved one more exotic plant, he could only think of your expression when you see the petals spin in the breeze. 

Thus, you found yourself with a makeshift garden, brought to you proudly by Capitano. Each flower is a fragment of his journeys, a testament of his quiet devotion. He even helped construct a modest greenhouse, sturdy and sun-warmed, to shelter those blooms that craved warmer climates. Now, every time the Harbinger is away and spots a single flower blooming in the wild, his mind wanders back to you; what else might my beloved like? 

✧ Il Dottore – Small inventions to make your life easier

To love someone doesn’t equal to lavishing that person with materialistic luxuries. Dottore knows you have little taste for frivolity, acquiring only what necessity demands. Instead, he attends to subtler needs: when you scribble in your notebooks for hours, your fingers get tired from clutching a pen, the side of your palms are smeared with either ink or graphite. Hence, one evening, he returns with a set of gloves.

“Here, give me your hand,” – he said busily, already cradling your palms as he carefully put on two-finger writing gloves, securing your skin in comfort against the soft material. “I ensured the design is versatile when you’re writing something, without tiring or smudging your hand. Tell me if it feels better.”

You never even noticed or complained about the ache. At times, the Doctor saw you plop down on the sofa, tired and whining from cleaning around. You were always meticulous with your personal space, but none is immune from the hassle of vacuuming, dusting, or cleaning the floors. Especially if it gave you a night of painful back pain. Hiring attendants would have been the simplest solution, he thought. But he preferred an idea far more personal.

“Take this,” – he casually handed you a circular device. You blinked in confusion but accepted the new state-of-the-art machinery. “An automatic vacuum cleaner. It will map out the layout of the house so it can sweep the floors whenever you’re away. Spare yourself the drudgery.”

And another time, when you were delighted by your purchase of a sweet bubble tea beverage, you wistfully lamented how difficult it was to replicate such indulgences at home. Oh well, you shrugged, but Dottore was sitting nearby, already scheming a blueprint.

A week later, your kitchen bore a marvel: a gleaming coffee and tea machine, capable of brewing, frothing, even carbonating any beverage you wished. You just have to throw in the ingredients of your choice. Be it coffees, matchas, smoothies, or bubble teas, not even Fontainian cafes had such appliances.

“Dottore, when did you have the time to wipe out such a machine? That’s massive work!” – you inquired curiously one day, but The Harbinger waved his hand dismissively, stating:

“Hm? Oh, why, this is hardly a strain. I don’t like seeing you toil over menial tasks or seek out solutions that will just burn through your Mora. If you are in want of anything, you can always ask me. You know that, correct?”

Even in matters where you never uttered a single complaint, Dottore’s ever observant nature remained unfaltering. He would silently bask in the sight of you, committing every small nuance of your life and habits to memory. He’d sit with his chin resting on his palm, silently smiling as you enjoyed his inventions or the little knick-knacks around his lab that brought your sincere smile.  

✧ Scaramouche – Learning to cook your favourite dishes

The Ballader never grasped humanity’s fascination with food. Concerning sustenance, survival required little. Animals hunted their prey without fanfare, yet humankind alone had transformed eating into a cult. Fawning over flavors? Creating restaurants? Scaramouche never got it, even when he first lived as an innocent puppet in the rural village of Tataratsuna.

So why was he here, eyebrows furrowed as he looked over the sizzling meat on the stove? Somehow, against all reason, the Harbinger cooked an entire meal exclusively for you! 

“Ah, you’re back at last. Come here,” – he beckoned you diligently to sit down, presenting you with a bowl of Gyudon, a beef and rice bowl topped with egg yolk on top. You obeyed, baffled yet in pure awe, while Scaramouche sat opposite you with arms crossed. “Well? Don’t just glare at it. Taste it!” 

So you did. “Um, Scara… did you cook this?”

He nodded silently.

“Did you… Add any soy sauce anywhere? Maybe salt or mirin?”

Oh no.

Turns out, cooking is no simple art form. There are careful blends of spices and garnishes that make even the simplest dishes outstanding. And unfortunately for the Ballader, he missed all the steps, underestimating the power of spices that one must add to the beef. He watched you gulp down with a nervous, hesitant smile. You radiated so much encouragement that it ached. Scaramouche said nothing, only sat broodingly still. Nonetheless, he had to remind himself that he was no longer in Tataratsune. The simple folks there often kept rice as a garnish, and many imports of spices never reached the rural islands of Inazuma. He does not have to run barefoot to scavenge for Lavender Melons from wind-worn hills.

He didn’t let that deter him. Little by little, he paid more attention to the spices he had to put in. Never too much, never too little. Noticing your love for rich flavors and blends of textures, The Harbinger challenges the kitchen like an enemy, learning new dishes and methods. When you simply asked him why the sudden hobby, he replied:

“I thought humans liked homecooking. So I hoped one day you’d come… knowing there would be some. Isn’t that where a home is?”

“Oh, Scara,” - your hand found the curve of his back, to which he never leaned away. “I think you’re a quick learner, because you made leaps of progress. And your last dish, the Unagi Chazuke? It was perfect.”

“You don’t have to sugarcoat it, you know?” – he mused whistfully.

“No, I mean it. I think Chazukes are your best. But don’t get discouraged. Inazuman cuisine focuses on subtle blends of saltiness and sweetness, relying on ingredients like rice vinegar, sesame oil, or soy sauce. But Sumeru? Oh, I heard they have all kinds of spices out there!”

You went on and on with unbridled enthusiasm, weaving tales of harra fruits ground into rare, fragrant spices, prized all over Teyvat. Scaramouche listened silently, more in delight at your simple excitement. Perhaps he started to understand why humans focused so much on food. Not out of survival, but as a cultural effort to spend time together, a silent way to stay a little longer. Because whenever he sat down with you over a meal, it felt more than just an indulgence.

Maybe if he ever gets the chance, he should visit Sumeru…? 

✧ Pantalone – His coats or clothing after each date

It started by sheer coincidence. One time, the two of you were enjoying a splendid afternoon, when suddenly the wind stirred without warning, bearing the chill of an impending October rain. Caught unprepared without an umbrella, and before the two of you could bid farewell for the day, Pantalone stopped you.

“Wait, honey,” – he deftly unbuttoned his coat, wrapping it around your form from behind and adjusting the fur-lined collar to shield you from the cold. “Here, wear this along the road. If it starts raining, the hood of this coat will keep you spotless.”

You wanted to protest, but when The Harbinger saw you half-swallowed by the voluminous fabric, only your gaze barely peeking through, it demanded every ounce of restraint to maintain his gentlemanly expression. ‘My… my sweetheart! They look utterly precious! Like a bundled burrito!’

Your words of worry slipped past him from one ear to the other – “Ahem. Nonsense, my love. You can keep it for now.” 

On another occasion, when he had invited you for a pleasant dinner date at his estate, the atmosphere bloomed with warmth and quiet comfort. The candlelit table was set, as you aided him in arranging the plates and dishes in the dining room. Pantalone, ever at ease in your presence, casually shrugged off his sweater, remaining in a crisp button-up now that the fireplace’s warmth embraced the indoors. However, it wasn’t until you wore his sweater after dinner that he realized he had left it on the sofa, and it piqued your curiosity.

“Ah, if I had a camera on me right now, I would’ve taken a hundred photo shots of you!”

“Sorry, sorry, I can give your sweater back.”

“Not a chance now. Keep it!”

Thus, a habit was formed. Whether by intent or by innocent accident, Pantalone would gladly share with you his wardrobe – be it coats, scarves, his pieces of jewelry, or bigger lounging shirts. You assumed he let you borrow them, like the loving boyfriend that he is. Yet he never asked for them back, even when you suggested taking them off, stating proudly:

“Honey, I have plenty more in my closet. If I were in dire need of taking them back, I could simply purchase tailor-made once more. But I’d rather see you wear them. You look splendid in my clothes.”

It stirred a quiet pride within the Regrator, to be accompanied by his sweetheart in public, and the people recognizing his iconic coat draped over your shoulder. A clear message of who has his heart cupped in their palms, and who he adores beyond reverent adoration.

Yet what truly stole the crown is when you’re together in the comfort of your home, and decide to forgo any garments and simply slip into one of his button-up shirts. He’d find you, re-emerged from the bathroom, looking all cleaned and refreshed, your figure clad in his shirt.

All the blood leaves his head. There is not a single thought in his brain - just the image of you. In bed, his button-up shirt the sole remaining piece covering your figure.

“You know, Pantalone, I must admit - I love the feeling of your clothes. They’re soft and comfortable, yet they carry a whiff of your scent. Thank you for not mind me wearing them. I can give it back if y-... Dear?”

Yep, he’s about to pass out. His beloved is too beautiful. 

✧ Tartaglia – Plushies as souvenirs from different regions

The young Harbinger took a deep breath, cracked his knuckles, and stretched his neck. A recent mission in Liyue lay completed behind him, but did that mean he could rest and take a break? No, alas, the battle has only started. And today’s battle is shopping in the busy markets of Liyue in search of gifts and souvenirs. 

He often makes a mental list of what presents to bring home to Snezhnaya. New fishing gear for his father, fine garments for his dear sister Tonia, rare tomes for Anthon, and vibrant Liyue kites for little Teucer. His arms often returned so laden with offerings that his family affectionately dubbed him Ded Moroz, or as Teucer would shout in delight upon his arrival: “Father Christmas is back home!” 

Nonetheless, despite the massive ordeal of finding appropriate gifts, the task Childe found most effortless is finding you all sorts of figurines and plushies from each region. 

Maybe this Rex Lapis dragon plushie? No, you already have a five-foot-tall one at home; no need for another. Perhaps this rotund bird plush, fashioned after some grumpy Liyue adeptus? Oh, but there are also beautiful plushies from Fontaine, resembling Blubberbeasts and otters. Even though the sight of otter plushies gave him a dreadful sense of déjà vu. Truly, there were far too many to choose from.

And knowing Tartaglia, his heart would cave in and purchase all of them for you either way. He would return home triumphant, adding to your ever-growing collection, until your bed became a veritable kingdom of pillowy plush creatures, half of them functioning as pillows all over the house. No matter what your cherished brought, you’d smile in delight at his safe return, but laugh when he proudly presented the chunky blubberbeast plush with a boyish grin.

“Oh, by the way, look! I also bought this,” – he suddenly stated and handed you a masterfully crocheted keychain of a little Sumeru creature. Its stitched smile looking silly.

“Ajax, what is that?” - you chuckled, more amused by the Harbinger’s goofy smile.

“The shopkeeper called it an Aranara. There is a legend in Sumeru that these little wood critters roam the jungles, but are only visible to children who retain their innocent childhood imagination.”

You turned the keychain over in your hands, pondering where best to fasten it. It was charming, like every other token Childe so thoughtfully brought you. Yet truth be told, everyone knows your favourite plushy to cuddle was not the entourage of souvenirs, but the Harbinger who bought them. And in Childe’s mind, that alone was the sweetest victory he could claim.

You had thought they would all kill each others in a giant bloodbath, but you were wrong. They had been at each other’s throats on multiple occasions, but after Zhongli made them all sign a contract, the fighting and arguing calmed down. At first the men from Khaenri'ah were against the idea of a contract, especially since the one who proposed the idea was no other than Morax. Pantalone was also very opposed to the idea, but they all ended up signing it after a lot of persuasion. You had been drugged to be immobile yet lucid. You had watched their argument from the end of the long table in the dining room Kaveh had designed. You could barely sit up and your eyes were slightly cloudy, yet you were aware of everything that happened before you. When the god of freedom, Venti, signed the contract with a shockingly sweet smile, icy shivers ran down you spine and you thought you were going to throw up. It all was so surreal, yet you were painfully aware that there would never be any room for escape.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, and before you knew it you had gotten slightly used to being locked up in the Serenitea Pot. Sometimes boredom consumed you and the days blended together into a grey gloomy mass, but most times you had something to do. You had gotten used to the whole Yandere and Darling thing after a while too. When you first woke up in the meadows by the big oak at Windrise, Venti had been playing in his lyre and he took you to his home. He had however forgotten to tell you a very important detail about the alien world you now found yourself in. That thing being that there was a biological thing known as Yanderes and Darlings. It was a mystery for everyone, even the smartest person you had ever met: Dottore had not come to a conclusion as to how you could be a Darling, when the world you originated from had no such things as Darlings and Yanderes. Alice, of all people, had been the person who had told you about Yanderes and Darlings and you had been absolutely livid at Venti for keeping you in the dark. That said, you had sensed something from Venti when you had first met him. Something you couldn’t quite place (the same went for both Diluc and Kaeya).

You snapped out off your thoughts at the sound of blades clashing. Childe was sparring with Cyno on the grass meadow that surrounded the mansion. The ginger was all smiles as he seemed to have the time of his life. The general had a more concentrated expression, but he too seemed to enjoy himself. You watched them as the moved together in an almost synchronised rhythm. Even though you hated fighting, you had to admit that it was fascinating to watch them. You watched them for what must have been half an hour and your apple was long gone. You leaned back in your chair as you could feel your eyelids get droopy. You were starting to get cold.

Your sock clad feet made almost no sound as you made your way through the mansion. The manor was mostly a mix of Mondstadter and Fontainian architecture with some decorations from the other nations. It all blended together perfectly in a beautiful harmony. Kaveh was truly skilled at his line of work. You passed room after room as you ventured further into the grand mansion. Itto and Sethos were playing Genius Invocation TCG in one of the many lounges. They didn’t seem to sense you as they were both busy with the game.

The house was silent and the only thing you could hear was your feet against the parquet. You stopped in front of the kitchen. You had gotten quite hungry and the apple you had just eaten wasn’t enough to calm your hunger. You pushed down the golden door handle into the grand kitchen and pushed the tall door open. The delicious smell of fried vegetables met you as you entered. Capitano was sitting at the end of the dining table with a book in hand, his mask was covering his face, but you could feel his eyes on you. Lyney and Dahlia sat beside each other, the two of them had grown to be quite good friends. Kazuha was also sitting at the table with his back turned towards you. He turned his head to give you a soft smile when he heard you entering. Ororon was cooking by the stove, wearing one of the pink aprons you had made while you were bored out of your mind.

“Are you hungry?” he asked with a smile, flashing his razor sharp fangs. The same fangs he loved to bore into your skin as a sign of affection, but you had reason to believe he had grown fond of the taste of your blood. You shivered and averted your eyes from his pearly whites. You didn’t miss the way Dahlia gave you a knowing smirk.

“Yeah” you took a seat one the chair Kazuha had pulled out between him and Capitano.

“Did you enjoy being outside?” Lyney asked as he twirled a king of hearts card on his fingers.

“I hope you had enough clothes on you. You don’t want to get sick” Kazuha smiled.

You nodded. “Yeah to both.”

“Here you go” a steaming hot plate of fried vegetables, rice and chilli sauce with as placed in front of you. It both looked and smelt delicious. Orono gave the others a plate before he sat himself down beside Lyney and opposite of you. “I hope it’s to your liking” he gave you a bright smile.

“Thank you. It smells delicious.”

“Why no meat?” Dahlia asked.

Ororon shrugged. “I couldn’t be bothered really.”

“I can relate” the Deacon laughed.

You ate in silence as the other around the table engaged in conversation. The food was delicious, but such was to be expected from the vegetables Ororon grew in the vegetable garden at the back of the mansion. Capitano had discarded his mask in order to eat. At first you had been slightly frightened of his scared face, but now you didn’t even bat an eye. His handsome pale face was marred with dark blue scaring. A scar ran down his left eyes and it was a miracle his eyes was still intact. Another one was slashed over his nose, it had faded more to a white colour over the years. Dark blue and black veins littered his face, a sign of the curse he was under. His mouth stretched further than normal when he either smiled or sneered and sharp fangs rested behind his lips. Still with his scarred and rotting face, he was still beautiful, more so than you had ever imagined.

As if he could feel you staring, he lifted his head slightly and his dark blue eyes met yours. He always seemed to be at peace when he was at your near proximity and he had even said that you had for some reason been able to lessen his curse. He wasn’t the first of the Yanderes to say that and you knew they meant what they said.

The hallways were dark as most of the residents had already gone to bed. The flame of the candle in your hand was flickering as you made your way through the house. You couldn’t sleep. You knew Baizhu or Tighnari would offer you some sleeping pills should you ask, but you didn’t want to. A sudden gust of wind blew out your candle and your head whipped around to find the source. Your heart was hammering against your chest as your eyes scanned your soundings.

“Are you trying to escape?” a gruff voice spoke behind you and you froze. Of course. “I asked you a question.”

You slowly inhaled and exhaled in order to calm your racing heart before you hesitantly tureen around to face him. “I’m not” you had to crane your neck in order to meet his magenta irises.

Rerir looked down at you for a few seconds before his large hand landed upon your shoulder. He shoved you gently (or as gentle as he was capable of) in the direction of his bedroom. His talons bored into your shoulder as he guided you through the darkness.

Out of all of the Yanderes, he and Dottore were the ones who frightened you the most. Ayato was on a solid third place. Rerir was unpredictable and his disdain of humanity made him lack morals that even Dottore possessed (at least a few of them). Rerir was powerful, extremely do, intelligent and determined. His possessiveness as suffocating and you wonder if he would one day crush you to death with his so—called love. He was the newest addition to the mansion and he quickly earned the others respect (and fear). He was dangerous, but the most dangerous thing about him wasn’t his seemingly endless power, but his love.

That was the case with all of them. Even the least intimidating of the bunch, turned to a blood thirst monster that was ready to drown you in their love should they see fit. But love is the greatest thing of all? So why even complain?

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