up with the morning sun

    Needless to say, he’s impressed. She’s got some talent this one, and it’s plain as day. Luckily for her, he’s not the sort of guy who might try to hide such a thing. Why bother, right? Jasper has no interest in making people feel shitty about themselves just because he doesn’t want to seem like he might’ve been wrong about something. 

    So, he lets himself look every bit as impressed as he feels. For her benefit. 

        ‘ You’re good. Real good. How long have you been playing? ’ 

     this is exactly the reason lena knows she could never do television. not to say that, should the opportunity arrive, she wouldn’t take it, but there’s nothing quite like that in-the-moment, immediate reaction to her performance, dramatic or musical. maybe it’s some kind of gratification thing. she doesn’t know, but she lives for it.

     the question jasper asks though, she has to think about. she’s been playing almost longer than she remembers.

          “ uhh, my grammy started teachin’ me when i was maybe... five? six? i don’t know- fifteen years, give or take, though. i think. you’d be better askin’ her. ” she shrugs. “ she’d probably be able to tell you every song she ever taught me. ” lena knows there’s nothing more important than family to her grandmother. details that would normally be expected to be lost over time, lucy somehow manages to hold on to.

@chxtterly. call.

        ‘ I come bearing gifts. ’ He’s not joking either: Balfour has a bag filled with things from the UK he reckons Mrs Chatterly might like to try out. He is a good one, eh? ‘ Got some stuff for Mr Chatterly too, actually. If he’s in? ’ 

@chxtterly. cont.

        ‘ I am even better than very good, ’ he says, and with many a story to back up such a claim. Ragnar moves on to the other part of her backhanded compliment a moment later, however. It’s hard not to. ‘ What is this about not-so-handsome? ’ 

    Because he’s lonely, for one thing, though Balfour will never admit to it. He’s drawn to her in some way that she’d likely scoff at if he told her– or perhaps it’s simply the fact that she dislikes Alistair with as much vitriol as he does himself. He’s only human. He needs friends, at the end of the day. Doesn’t everyone? 

        ‘ I never said it was vitally important. But friends are nice, Morrigan. Forget I asked if it offends you so greatly. ’ 

     offence has nothing to do with it. it’s more the fact that she doesn’t understand. that, of course, she won’t allow balfour to be privy to, nor anyone else. this concept of friendship- it baffles her. there’s something about seeing the same seven faces every day that’s... a little exhausting. how people yearn for this, she doesn’t see that she’ll ever comprehend.

@chxtterly. cont.

    That isn’t the response he wanted but Balfour supposes that he should have seen it coming. He forgets sometimes that she grew up in a swamp, isolated, away from civilisation at large. He won’t linger on the thought, though; she’d only hate the thought of him pitying her, he’s certain. Not that he ever would. 

        ‘ I think you dislike me the least of everyone in camp. So I’d say that puts us at least halfway there already, no? ’ 

     well, if he says so, it must be true. every word from his mouth is nought but the truth, after all. for he who asks too many questions clearly exists as the font of all knowledge. morrigan scoffs, shakes her head, folds her arms over her chest.

critical role; accepting

critical role; accepting

     she only stares for a moment, listening to the question again in her mind: are we friends? what is it that constitutes a friend? they’ve been travelling together for some time, yes, but simple companionship cannot be all that contributes toward such a title.

        he’s silent for a long time, even after she’s done talking. it’s late. she’s a mess. she needs someone and as much as cody wants to be that someone it’s hard to do that when you’re in another state. he’s glad that she’s talking to him, though. it’s a big step for nell even though he’s always been there to be that ear to listen to all her problems and eventually tell her how stupid her decisions are. in the friendliest way, of course. 

but, this is different. it’s too extreme, he thinks. he knows nell isn’t like him in the slightest. at the hint of a problem, cody throws himself right at his dad or even his mom depending on the advice needed but nell closes off. for a long time he let her, too. to each their own, right? but, how is she going to walk in that house and pretend everything is fine? while he’s sure nell will be able to manage it, he doesn’t want her to lock this one up.  “ hey, you probably don’t want me to say this… ”  it’s not a good start already.  “ but you should maybe, i dunno, talk to your mom or somethin’ too? ”

he’s hesitant to say the words because he knows exactly the answer she’s going to give.  “ if i were there this’d be different but i’m not and i don’t think this is a problem you can fix with just one little phone call, y’know? ”  he sighs before giving one last argument to the case before she has a chance to shut him down.  “ i’m just really worried for you, nell. ”

     truth is, she’s worried about herself. she wants to know what it is that allows paul to still have this power over her. she’s not one to shy away from talking shit about him when he’s not around. she’s called the guy every name under the sun enough times that everyone’s well aware how much she hates him, but the minute she’s alone with him ( which until a few hours ago she hadn’t been since she was eighteen ) it’s like she loses all her fire. she becomes that terrified child again.

     she shakes her head, and swallows.

          “ i can’t, ” she breathes. “ cody, how do i... what would i even fuckin’ say? sorry, ma i wasn’t at work like i told you, i was fuckin’ a piece of shit with a god complex. ” she has to stop, again, as her anger builds. at herself, at paul. and before she knows it her knuckles sting, her fist having hit her dashboard with tremendous force.

five texts; accepting

(  uncle cody 🎤⭐️ ; 15:02 ) how stupid would trying to ignore laryngitis be? 🤔(  uncle cody 🎤⭐️ ; 15:02 ) it sounds like something you’ve done and i’d like your advice please 😋DELETED

(  uncle cody 🎤⭐️ ; 17:29 ) hahaha have you ever cried because you didn’t get the lead in something(  uncle cody 🎤⭐️ ; 17:29 ) i’m asking for a friend 🙃DELETED

(  uncle cody 🎤⭐️ ; 04:46 ) i don’t know how you do this not sleeping thing all the time 😴(  uncle cody 🎤⭐️ ; 04:46 ) i hate finals 😫 DELETED

(  uncle cody 🎤⭐️ ; 22:28 ) did you ever used to wonder if you were good enough?(  uncle cody 🎤⭐️ ; 22:28 ) like i know in my heart that performing is what i was born to do(  uncle cody 🎤⭐️ ; 22:28 ) i just wonder sometimes what happens if it never goes anywhere(  uncle cody 🎤⭐️ ; 22:28 ) what if i don’t make it like you did(  uncle cody 🎤⭐️ ; 22:23 ) what am i supposed to do thenDELETED

(  uncle cody 🎤⭐️ ; 21:53 ) you know sometimes i wish you w e r e my dad(  uncle cody 🎤⭐️ ; 21:53 ) i mean you pretty much are anyway but you know what i meanDELETED