she doesn’t know how long she’s been home but her engine’s still running and her headlights still shine against the walls of the house. she can’t yet bring herself to go inside. the kitchen light’s on- someone’s still up. and she can’t deal with talking to someone. not in person.

     part of her wants to talk, though. so she calls the only person she knows will pick up. the only person she feels she can talk to anymore.

     nell’s still half in disbelief that that asshole had managed to catch her off guard for long enough to land a hit on her when she feels it. ( whatever it is. ) it’s like someone had hit pause for a moment long enough for her to realise that it was something, but not long enough for her to figure out what. and before she’d had a chance to even try, it had gone.

     before she knows it, becky’s back to cleaning her up, back to calling her out for shit-talking, and nell’s back to being reminded that no matter how many times she takes a hit, it doesn’t hurt any less.

     they’ve been going for what feels like hours. or, paul has at least. nell doesn’t even remember what had started everything off, but she’s resorted to simply pleading with him. praying that he’ll keep his voice down. it hasn’t helped, and their daughter’s cries from the bedroom haven’t gotten any less distressed. she’d tried walking away, to offer lena the comfort she screams for, but a firm grip on her arm had prevented her from doing so.

     it possibly is hours later that the door to the trailer flies open and nell’s eyes find themselves upon her cousin. she feels nothing but panic. he shouldn’t be here. she knows her family hate paul as it is, but she’s managed to keep this side of their relationship quiet for this long. the less they know, they safer she’s felt, as stupid as that sounds. as long as they don’t know, she’s not hurting them.

     nell frowns, trying to think of what’s actually in there that becky could be referring to but, coming up short, just assumes it’s nolan’s. she shrugs, sinking further down into the fabric of the couch until she’s almost horizontal.