* 𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 / 𝕕𝕒𝕪𝕤

     as she carefully closes the door of her locker, charli winces at the idea of applying a hot sauce mask all over her face and shoulders, ‘ i just pictured the state of my skin post-cholula mask and ew, s ! it’s SUCH a gross image ! really wish you’d kept that part to yourself so my brain could keep daydreaming about zucchini uninterrupted. ’ her arm hooks around skylar’s as she begins walking away from her locker and towards her next class, brain slowly but surely erasing the image of bright red skin to make space for images of her senior week outfits. ‘ if you do ariel i’m expecting a FULL red wig, à la kylie announcing her valentine’s day collection. we only have a few weeks of being seniors left, so go hard or go home ! ’ she exclaims, eyes lingering on the giant graduation countdown posters on either side of the hallway, ‘ i’m probably going to do lilo, from lilo & stitch. i’ve got a cute little green hula skirt i’ve been trying to sneak into a halloween costume of some kind, so might as well use it now, right ? ’

CHARLI PHAN / senior week day one ( disney character ) !

     ‘ as much as i loved eating REAL mexican food for a week, i really missed the zucchini chips from nick & toni’s. i honestly don’t think i could’ve nursed my cabo nose bridge and shoulder sunburns back to health without them, ’ charli muses, reorganizing the books in her locker. her index finger longingly traces over the columbia pennant on the interior of her locker door and her mind glazes over for an instant, wondering what the weather’s currently like in the city. ‘ speaking of being back — which disney character are you dressing up as for spirit week ? ’ 

     her plan to remain invisible under her large sunhat foils COMPLETELY as bronson crashes straight into her, hands reaching for her shoulders to avoid having her topple backwards. as he holds her in place, she can’t help but let out an exhale, feeling the pads of his thumbs ghost over her collarbones. his touch is a form of intimacy they haven’t shared in months and something she thought she’d fully pushed out of her mind, and yet, as soon as his hands land on her shoulders, it feels like they’re RIGHT back to their old ways for just a moment. which is why her body instantly wiggles out of his embrace and takes a cautionary step back, adding distance between the two of them. with her friendship with kendall on the mend, and the positive memories she’s made during her trip thus far, she knows that now isn’t the time to let any lingering emotions get the best of her. no matter how the sight of her ex-boyfriend’s sun-induced freckles and broad shoulders make her feel. ‘ i’m fine, yeah ! ’ she responds, the high-pitched nature of her tone giving away just how awkward the situation is to her, ‘ i’m on my way to the beach. i have some reading to catch up on. you know what our ap literature professor. assigned readings don’t stop over spring break ! ’

     her efforts to avoid him thus far have been SURPRISINGLY successful. taking earlier breakfast and later lunch, avoiding the pool during the warmest hours of the day, circumventing every and all gyms and areas where a ball could be thrown — you name it, charli’s probably done it. but, the universe must sense that she’s getting too CONFIDENT, and ( just as she’s on her way to the beach, tote packed with a towel, beach read and sunscreen ) she spots a familiar head of red hair heading her way. panic overtakes her for an instant, causing her to awkwardly stop in her tracks, feet suddenly glued to the ground. it’s too late for her to turn around and pretend she’s forgotten something in her room, so she stays put with her head down, hoping her sun hat will be enough of a disguise. / ( & @callchans ! )

     for most of their time in high school, charli recalls she and kendall talking about their plans for their senior trip on a DAILY basis. from the color of their bikinis, to the alcohol in their cocktails, each detail was planned out from their first day of freshman year. which is why their current predicament feels so odd. as both of them unpack, making sure to avoid making eye contact with the other, the silence in the room is EERY. the bizarre back and forth each partakes in between her closet and her suitcases lasts for a few moments longer, before charli sighs, unable to take the rising tension for much longer. ‘ we’re being stupid, ’ she interjects, putting an end to their mutual silence, ‘ we’ve been friends for longer than i can remember. and that should outweigh the fact that you made out with my ex. especially since i’m pretty sure that’d go against the pact we made in eighth grade. if our crushes on the dutch exchange student didn’t get between us back then, then bronson SHOULDN’T now, right ? ’ / ( & @kendallyasir ! )

     starters for everyone who reacted to ( one of ) my ( many ) starter calls will be posted tomorrow ! i wanted to get it all done tonight but it’s 2 in the morning and i have class in the morning & actually need to pay attention, rip !

     the more time passes, the more charli can feel each of the anxieties that plagued her mere HOURS before slowly but surely dissipate. though she sees herself as one of the more fortunate ones in her graduating class worry-wise, even she is followed by her own personal grey cloud on most days. especially as the end of her time in high school draws closer, and with all of the recent ( and emotional ) events associated with the night of her acceptance party. while some would be quick to attribute this newfound and growing insouciance with the fact that she’s finally back in a warm climate, a tequila cocktail floating through her veins, charli knows better than to ignore finn’s direct effect on her mood. his proximity ( and, truthfully, any moment they spend basking in each other’s presence ) has never failed to coax her into a smile. ‘ if you wear anything else, i’ll haunt you, ’ she threatens jokingly, index finger poking into his bicep, ‘ but only like, at really bad times. like when you’re on a first date, or giving an important speech. ’ her face scrunches up in an attempt to seem more threatening as he moves out from under her legs, unhappy at the idea of the contact they just had with one another being broken. not that she is granted much time to dwell on his absence. embarrassingly, and in a moment that feels VERY middle school, she feels her heartbeat speed up and cheeks redden as he removes his shirt. it’s no secret she’s always found him attractive ( who wouldn’t ? ), but there’s just something about him under the blazing mexican sun that charli can’t help but physically respond to. so much so that it takes her a split second to realize she’s staring, eyes darting from his shoulders, to his eyes, to his hair, to his freckles, to his shoulders... once she catches onto what she’s doing, her gaze quickly averts itself, choosing instead to focus on the empty glass by her side. ‘ let me get this straight — you want me, one drink in, to climb onto your back and order a new drink in spanish ? at the bar of a five-star resort ? ’ she echoes, dusting herself off as she gets back on her feet. she frowns for an instant, pondering the dare, trying to pretend the tequila coursing through her body ISN’T screaming at her to do it. a sigh a less than a second later acts as her official white flag. ‘ i better be allowed to phone a friend. the duolingo lessons didn’t teach me anything about ordering drinks ! ’ she exclaims, drawing a circle in mid-air with her index finger to motion the other to turn around.

     if charli was to make a list of the people she’s MOST excited to share this trip to cabo with, mallory would definitely make top three. given her friend’s family ties to mexico, she envisions this trip holding a special meaning for her and ( selfishly, perhaps ) feels a certain desire to see her experience it all. it’s with that thought in mind that, after a day spent unpacking and fawning over every amenity in her hotel room to avoid having to engage in all of her classmates’ rowdy partying, charli embarks on a mission to seek mallory out. the beach feels like an OBVIOUS first choice to kick off her tour. after all, despite living so close to the sea, it’s not every day they get to see the beauty of the pacific ocean ( and, given everyone’s partying, it’s likely one of the more quiet spots in the vicinity ). after a few minutes of walking, flip flops hand, her eyes finally manage to spot a familiar silhouette in the distance, dark hair blowing in the wind. clumsily but swiftly, charli races over, leaving uneven, hasty footsteps behind. ‘ can you believe we get to stay here a whole week ? after all the snow and icy wind chills in bridgehampton this feels kind of SURREAL, ’ she muses, in lieu of a greeting, settling down next to her friend.

     as the marques’ front door swings open, charli’s eyes are forced to shoot upwards to meet gabriel’s, their significant height difference FAR more obvious now that they’re standing face-to-face. ‘ wow ! i see how it is, gabe ! i make one mistake and now i’m not allowed to name our kids ? really thought this marriage would be a happy one. good thing my uncle runs in the same circles as a bunch of divorce lawyers ! ’ she jokes, attempting not to topple over under milo’s weight. it only takes the dog a few seconds to convince her to drop down to his level on the floor, where it’s easier for the girl to greet and pet him. ‘ the best news i’ve had ALL year ? are you aware of how high the bar is ? in the space of the last few months, i found out about columbia, alexandria ocasio-cortez was sworn in and i found a brand new boba place ten minutes away from school, ’ she enumerates, arms wrapped adoringly around milo’s neck, dodging his tongue between each word.

charli: also, the beach

CHARLI PHAN / senior trip to cabo san lucas ( part 2 ) !

     charli’s heard finn speak spanish before — over the phone to family members or when swearing after hitting part of his body on her furniture — but there’s something to be said about seeing him speak it in a hispanic context. though she doesn’t quite catch everything he’s saying ( the duolingo owl has only really taught her the basics ), her features can’t help but give away just how ENDEARED she is by each and every word. ‘ ¡ más despacio, por favor ! ’ she begins, pouting pensively as she attempts to remember as much vocabulary as she can from the flight over, ‘ i’ve only gotten through the duolingo lessons for basic greetings, basic tourist phrases, colors, food and terms of endearment. everything else, including the ‘ be fully bilingual for your spanish-speaking best friend ’ lesson were too long for me to take on back on the plane. ’ their actions almost mirror each other as they settle into more relaxed stances, seemingly taking comfort in their proximity with the other. like two halves of a whole finally being reunited. ‘ if i do go swim in the ocean and get swallowed whole by a mahi mahi, or whatever swims around the coast here, please show up to my funeral in HEAD-TO-TOE custom givenchy, or saint laurent. either one works. maybe some tom ford for the afterparty if you’re feeling something a little more colorful, ’ she teases, lips meeting the tip of her straw between sentences, the slight bitterness of the grapefruit in her cocktail hitting her tastebuds just right. mental note to self for the rest of the trip: the hotel’s bartenders offer AMAZING drink recommendations and should absolutely be trusted. ‘ alright, mr. cavallero — ’ she pauses, dimples growing more prominent as she breaks out into a grin, now-empty glass placed down by her side, ‘ what’s my first dare ? ’