girlhood is a spectrum
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girlhood is a spectrum

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Attitude.
did you know?
all of richardâs character in the secret history is foreshadowed at the very beginning. âĂĄ moi. lâhistoire dâune de mes folies.â (page 5)
the quote is from a french poem âa season in hellâ
angsty teenage rimbaudâs descent into complete mental turmoil, self-annihilation and revolt from the ennui of bourgeois society.
sounds familiar?
Florence Welch, photographed by Karyme França

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Port-Au-Prince. Haiti, 2010
Unknown photographer. Paris, France. 1950s
Postcard French early 1900 Egyptian Hashish smokers
Nkuley , 2024

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So anyway. They're all at least 60 by now.
Camilla stayed single all her life. She lives alone in her grandmother's old house in Virginia, and sits in the rocking chair at night and stares at the fireplace, smoking a Lucky Strike with old country songs murmuring on the radio, and tries to read Jane Eyre, but her thoughts always wander. To Henry. To Charles. To what once was.
Charles never did move out of the trailer he used to share with his girlfriend. Francis's yellowed, unopened letter is still lying somewhere deep in a drawer. He gets the odd job sometimes, washing cars or dishes or toilets. All the little money he has goes to liquor. What more does he need, anyway? His only aim in life is to forget. The owner of his usual place lets him stay past closing time sometimes, and play the out of tune piano, and slurred notes of Chopin fill the empty place, and he imagines they're all still there, in the library, where they can hear him play. But when he's finished, the lazy applause of his friends and the bright smile of his sister fail to appear.
The older Francis gets, the younger the men he goes home with. The doorman sees a new small nineteen year old blond leaving the building every morning, some looking shameful, others almost proud. He meticulously keeps up his socialite facade in public, but as soon as he's home alone, the mask is dropped, the cigarette is lit, and he sits in the windowsill chainsmoking. Looking at the sky. Wondering where Henry is. Wondering what could have been. Wondering why he's still here. His bright red hair slowly but surely fades to gray.
Richard habitually stays up till four or five, looking at the TV without watching it, taking sleeping pills without going to sleep, wandering the city for hours without going anywhere. He leaves coffee stains on the papers he grades. He lets dirty dishes pile up for weeks. Henry still visits him in his sleep, but his shadow vanishes when he wakes. He was born alone in California, and there he will die alone.
Mexican painter Frida Kahlo smoking mota
Iâm watching that documentary âBefore Stonewallâ about gay history pre-1969, and uncovered something which I think is interesting.
The documentary includes a brief clip of a 1954 televised newscast about the rise of homosexuality. The host of the program interviewed psychologists, a police officer, and one âknown homosexualâ. The âknown homosexualâ is 22 years old. He identifies himself as Curtis White, which is a pseudonym; his name is actually Dale Olson.
So I tracked down the newscast. According to what I can find, Dale Olson may have been the first gay man to appear openly on television and defend his sexual orientation. He explains that thereâs nothing wrong with him mentally and heâs never been arrested. When asked whether heâd take a cure if it existed, he says no. When asked whether his family knows heâs gay, he says that they didnât up until tonight, but he guesses theyâre going to find out, and heâll probably be fired from his job as well. So of course the host is like âŚwhy are you doing this interview then? and Dale Olson, cool as cucumber pie, says âI think that this way I can be a little useful to someone besides myself.â
1954. 22 years old. Balls of pure titanium.
Despite the pseudonym, Daleâs boss did indeed recognize him from the TV program, and he was promptly fired the next day. He wrote into ONE magazine six months later to reassure readers that he had gotten a new job at a higher salary.
Curious about what became of him, I looked into his life a little further. It turns out that he ultimately became a very successful publicity agent. He promoted the Rocky movies and Superman. Not only that, but get this: Dale represented Rock Hudson, and he was the person who convinced him to disclose that he had AIDS! He wrote the statement Rock read. And as we know, Rock Hudsonâs disclosure had a very significant effect on the national conversation about AIDS in the U.S.
It appears that no one has made the connection between Dale Olson the publicity agent instrumental in the AIDS debate and Dale Olson the 22-year-old first openly gay man on TV. So I thought Iâd make it. For Pride month, an unsung gay hero.
RATING: RELIABLE
you can listen to the clip of the 1954 interview here and find him on wikipedia here

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me and the guy i pulled by being whimsical and canibalistic
where do i find somebody to love me