lovely

i unpriv'd my oc rambling blog btw in case anyone wants to check it out because it's much less depressing than here rn lol. i officially changed my dumbbunnies acc to my official oc art acc with no rambling but on @anthroblorbo i ramble abt their lore and post wips and sketches and everything else i used to post to the other one. i hope somebody out there will enjoy it, i really just hope that someday people will like my characters and stories.

i guess i kind of officially lost my mom today? she's still alive but just destroyed our relationship

im normal 🐰

why do i post to this stupid diary stupid diary STUPID DIARY why do i keep posting to it why why why what's wrong with me

i hate the things i deal with but i hate even moreso the fact that my bf has to deal with me

"is this okay to say?" "is it okay to think like this?" "if i think it and don't say it will i be bad for lying?" "if i worry about it being bad at all then am i guilty for a reason?" "you know you're guilty for a reason so why are you asking yourself these things?" "why are you questioning if it's okay to have your own thoughts if you're questioning whether or not you're allowed to have them?" "why can't i let myself rest? why can't i calm down? why does it feel so bad to be?"

I HOPE EVERYONE WILL HAVE A GOOD DAY AND NO ONE GOES INTO PSYCHOSIS THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate that i'm boring on my medicine, but off of it i'm sometimes funny i just also allow myself to be aware of the fact that i need to spend several months in an intensive therapy program until i forget my entire life and all of its experiences and cease to be a living being and just stop and stop and stop and stop and be stopped

welcome to 8 pm, your choices are to either sleep and leave now or continue until it gets darker both around and inside your body and your thoughts feel like eyes on every side of your mind

bad bad bad bad bad 🩷🐰🪽

please god let the bad feelings and urges go away soon i'm tired of being afraid of myself and everything around me 🩷❤️💘💝💕🐰💞🩷❤️💗💘

y'know, everybody should try pancake mix and water in a microwaved bowl. it really builds character, i say. you get all the benefits of the pancake, without any of the annoying cleanup of the pan and stove, putting away all the unnecessary stuff, all that shebang. (coughing up mouthfuls of flour) now, listen, you're probably wondering, 'why do that when i could just cook the pancake normally?' well, i say, why stick to tradition? why not think outside the box instructions? no more stinky oil and grease stinking up your kitchen! (dusting off flour from my hands and face) no more expensive extra ingredients! just some good ol' pancake mix and water in a microwaved paper bowl. (chewing on a rubbery piece of "pancake") feels great, tastes great. all you need is some pancake mix, water, a paper bowl and a microwave to whip up this great dish. THIS is how you cook a pancake. THIS is what real good food tastes like.

every year i get so excited for af but this time it just makes me want to sleep

how do i explain to my cat that he can't have his favorite dinner because we can't afford it.

i guess i'm just kinda e-journaling about this cause hooooly frick i knew changes were happening in my life but i didn't think it'd be this sudden and extreme

having my graduation photo that my bf framed himself smashed and destroyed along with several other of my childhood toys and photos and graduation gifts found in a toilet filled with olive oil is kind of devastating not gonna lie