But only after I sit on the internet for an hour š
i feel attacked
But I have to use all my lives in Candy Crush, Two Dots, and Dots and Co before I can sleep. Itās necessary!
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@chunky002
But only after I sit on the internet for an hour š
i feel attacked
But I have to use all my lives in Candy Crush, Two Dots, and Dots and Co before I can sleep. Itās necessary!

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Letās get real a minute here
Truth time:Ā
It has been over a year since I posted something substantial. The truth is, I got lazy. Getting healthy/strong was once again a side dish. I could post about the stress and challenges but the truth is, things didnāt get better when the stress let up, or my life got better.
Over six months ago, I started a new job. A heart stopping, love of my life, my one dream job. DREAM. JOB. A little less than six months ago, I got tired of commuting 50 miles each way and moved closer to work which meant a move from one of the most walkable cities in the country and a 4th floor walkup to a second floor amazing apartment in theĀ āburbs. I love where Iām at, but not what Iāve lead my body turn into in the last year.
I weighed myself at the end of June and was horrified. Not only was I up almost exactly 40lbs from that time last year, but I had hit my highest weight ever. I was shocked, I was ashamed. Not going to lie I spent the next week binge eating complete crap. Which, logically, I know makes no fucking sense.
Despite how good I felt eating a Whole30 compliant lifestyle, itās easy to forget that itās worth the meal prep effort - especially when youāre working 50+ hour weeks and live within 2 blocks of FIVE fast food places.Ā
Aside from the deep shame (and letās face it, embarrassment) of getting to this size, I know I can do better - be better. And proof is this: yesterday, after doing no activity beyond a small handful of walks ranging from 2.5 to 4 miles, and even despite being my highest weight ever by over 7lbs, yesterday I ran the fastest mile I had in 4 years, when I was literally 50 pounds less, and the 3rd fastest mile Iāve ever run as an adult. And I know itās comparing apples and oranges, but it was also over 2 minutes faster than my 10k pace in 2016. Again, when I was 30-40 pounds lighter.
My next 10k is in September. IāmĀ ārunningā it with a friend and am trying to train more than the 4 workouts I did toĀ ātrainā for my first 10k. Itās in 10 weeks. Like I mentioned, Iām up to walking about 4 miles. I do need to work on my pace though because right now my pace is only about 1 minute faster per mile after 4 miles, compared to the 10k pace. I have a finishing time in mind and I just need to step it up to get there. Itās doable in 10 weeks, I just need to focus.
I need to focus and be better. I got this (probably, maybe...)
- Chunky out
Life goal: be Donna Paulsen
person: i really like you.
½ of me: why?
the other ½: of course you do, bitch iām amazing
Round 2: Day 11
Surviving! Round 2 has definitely been harder than the first time I did it. In the fall, if I ate enough I could stave off cravings (at least the first week and a half). This time, the cravings have been non-stop and no matter how much food I consume it doesnāt feel like enough. Itās like my stomach is saying YES YES I HAVE HAD LOTS OF FOOD BUT ITāS NOT THE KIND OF FOOD I WANT SO IāM GOING TO IGNORE HOW MUCH I JUST ATE.
weight update: my weight hasnāt changed in 2 days (yes, yes I know I shouldnāt be weighing myself while doing this thing, but itās how I keep myself on track and figure out how/when to tweak my routine). However, I checked today and my weight is 2.7lbs less than when I finished Round 1. Horray!

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And... 5 months later
So itās been a busy 2016! Iāve see-sawed in terms of eating, partially due to laziness (not wanting to cook) partly due to schedule (the last 2 months have had almost back to back work/fun trips).
Regardless, I have put a small dent in my NYE resolutions. Iāve identified 3 out of 5 doctors in the city, I ran a new race - my first 10K! And... after some back and forth, as of my last weigh in on Thursday, Iām officially 2.5lbs less than I was on New Yearās (did I mention I havenāt been to the gym much since February?)
The truth is, doing the Whole30 last fall made me feel the difference in what I had been eating (crap) vs what I should be eating (not crap). That is something that no other diet or change in eating program has been able to do. Despite knowing this, since January Iāve only done spurts of clean eating for a week/week and a half, but havenāt stuck to do for the full 30 days.
Today marks day 7 back on track. Iāve signed up for another 5k (end of July) and another one in early August, with the plan to do another 10k (i.e. one Iām actually ready for) in November/December.
New Yearās, New Year
Unlike most people, I LOVE New Yearās. I love the idea that it sparks renewal, rejuvenation, hope and promise. I make resolutions nearly every year, with the realistic understanding that I likely wonāt achieve/sustain ALL of them. I generally do pretty well with them, ending the year accomplishing at least 2/3rds of them. And thatās mainly because, through trial and error Iāve learned to be somewhat vague with them. My goals have evolved fromĀ āI want to lose 50 pounds this year!ā toĀ āI want to weigh less than I did last yearā orĀ āI want to exercise 5x a week foreverrrr!!ā toĀ āI want to try 1 new exercise class / activity a monthā. More attainable goals/resolutions.
And this year is no exception. So lo and behold here is my list of 2016 goals:
- Weigh less than I did on 12/29/15 (my last weigh in of 2015)
- Pay off 1 credit card
- Demonstrate more independence
- Run a race Iāve never done before
- Go on at least 3 dates (Iāve been on 1 date in the last 2 years)
- Procrastinate less
- Take charge of my health (such as: find doctors/specialists in my new-ish city, drink more water, work on establishing a more stable sleep schedule, etc.)
Whole30 - Round 2: Days 2-4
Aside from a little headache on New Yearās Day, itās been going pretty well. I even pushed through yesterdayās day 3 exhaustion to go for a 4 mile walk/jog. So far, so good. Meal prep for lunch tomorrow and Tuesday done, and already have a plan for sausage & peppers for dinner Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday (Tuesday Iām going out to dinner).
Day 2 Foodage:
Breakfast -Ā 1 banana + almond butter + 2 eggs
Lunch - eggs + ground pork
Dinner - chicken salad
Snack - eggs + ground pork
Day 3 Foodage:
Breakfast - potatoes + eggs + ground beef + spinach + onion
Lunch - eggs + ground pork
Dinner -Ā ground meat, fire roasted tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers, chili peppers
Snack - eggs + ground pork
Day 4 Foodage:
Breakfast - coffee with coconut milk, hard boiled eggs
Lunch -Ā ground meat, fire roasted tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers, chili peppers
Dinner - chili (2 servings)
The rest of 2015
Whole30 round 1 went a total of 47 days. then the holidays, with about 5 days just before christmas following the program because i was feeling pretty sick. didn't wait until the new year to get back on track and completed day 1 today! looking towards 2016 with open eyes and mind. Foodage: Breakfast- coffee w/coconut milk Lunch AND dinner - complaint chicken salad
Iām almost never serious, and Iām always too serious. Too deep, too shallow. Too sensitive, too cold-hearted. Iām like a collection of paradoxes.
Ferdinand de Saussure (via purplebuddhaproject)

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Whole 30 day 30+
So Iām wrapping up day 34 and still going strong. This week I started incorporated regular workouts, and have made it to the gym for at least 20 minutes, 5x this week (and planning to go tomorrow so the final total for the week is 6x). My plan isnāt to necessarily sustain this, but maintain a 4x a week minimum. Iām having a lot of fun with it. And even on nights like tonight when getting there was the toughest, and even when I was in the parking lot I was like fuccccck. But I went. It was short, it was sweet, I did strength training, broke a sweat and left. 25 minutes in the gym and I feel satisfied with that.Ā
Grocery shopping is tomorrow, and the only significant alteration Iāve made is Iām now allowing myself to have almond milk when coconut isnāt an option.Ā
Life continues!
doctor's appointments when you're fat
fat person: i have asthma
doctor: it's because you're fat
fat person: i have high blood pressure
doctor: you need to lose weight
fat person: i'm tired all the time
doctor: lose weight and you'll be less tired
fat person: i tried to commit suicide
doctor: you're depressed because you're fat
fat person: i broke my shoulder
doctor: because you're fat
fat person: no i slipped on some ice
doctor: you should still lose some weight
fat person: i literally slipped on ice and fell and broke my shoulder
doctor: you sure you don't wanna lose weight?
Whole30 - Day 30 - Results!
Okay so I know the day's not over yet, but I couldn't help it! I haven't weighed myself in about a week and a half, and haven't measured myself since day 1. Onto the results! Weight: -15.1lbs Bust: -0 (no change) Waist: -3 inches Hips: -3 inches Total loss: 15.1 pounds, and 6 inches WOO-HOO!!!!
Whole30 - Day 29
Today was pretty good. I got a kickass workout in, and was on point with food, though I don't think I took in enough calories. Ah well, I'm still full, which is what matters. Tomorrow is Day 30, but considering I'm planning to continue at least through Sunday, it doesn't really feel like it's the end. Apart from days 13-22, I've really enjoyed the experience - which is evident by me not wanting to let go of it, haha. Foodage: Breakfast - 2 eggs, banana with almond butter, ice coffee with coconut milk Lunch - nothing to eat, had a big cup of plain iced green tea Dinner - 3 eggs, banana with almond butter
Reblog!

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Whole30 Days 27 and 28
A fairly mellow weekend is ending and so is an uneventful weekend of blah eating. Nothing satisfied me (taste wise, not full-ness wise) today and actually I think it started last night with the crappy dinner I made myself. I decided for ease (and so I don't have to have tempting things in the house, I'm going to stay on Whole30 for the full week until Sunday (at least) when my grocery day rolls around once more. Day 27 Foodage: Breakfast - turkey, iced green tea (plain) Lunch - salad with oil and vinegar, chicken, lettuce, sliced almonds, bell pepper Dinner - sausage, onion, spinach, mushroom Day 28 Foodage: Breakfast - mixed fruit (apple, slice of orange, red grapes), almonds, iced coffee with coconut milk Lunch - zucchini lasagna Dinner - zucchini lasagna, 1 boiled egg
Whole30 Day 26
Some real talk. Yesterday my eating was totally on point. I faced temptation in the form of a catered dinner from my favorite Mexican restaurant in San Jose. Tortilla chips. Two types of enchiladas, mini burritos, a taco station⦠the works. But I didnāt even blink an eye! NSV! Woohoo!
However. The reason for all the food was it was my cousinās 21st birthday. My cousin and I are super close, weāre like brother and sister. So naturally he was upset when I declined to do a shot with him. A couple hours later⦠I caved. 2 shots of Fireball.Ā
So technically I failed the Whole 30 challenge, by not being 100% on point. But Iāve had so much success, Iām not counting it as a failure. No way! I worked out harder/longer than I originally planned this morning and Iām going to continue on the Whole30 for the remaining days⦠and then Iāll reevaluate.
But Iām damn proud of myself for not caving into cheese and the best enchiladas south of San Francisco.
Foodage:
Breakfast - black iced tea with coconut milk
Lunch - red/green grapes and cashews
Dinner - roasted turkey chunks, and shredded pork
Extra - 2 shots of Fireball