FindingMe

I saw him today. My classmate and friend from three years ago. I remembered that he was there, but I had a little doubt as to whether he would still be there. But he is.

I saw him during the morning assembly. He grew up a lot. His height is now taller than me. He looked good. But maybe he forgot me. Or pretended to.

I also met another person today. He helped me with my bag. Our eyes met twice today, and the second time was a bit longer than the first, or atleast it seemed to be. He was nice indeed.

It was hard today. Everything completely different. My surroundings, the people, everything being completely different, made me feel cold from inside.

I felt like an alien, left in an unknown planet. I felt completely out of place. People's stare, their cold comments, it made me feel sad.

I miss my old friends, my old place. But I have to spend 2 years there. I will try my best, because this phase will pass soon.

And among all the bad things, one good thing that happened is that I found an old friend of mine in that place. One familiar face.

It's finally the day. The day that I've been trying to run away from.

Tomorrow, I have to go.

I am nervous and scared. Not much confident.

But I've learned one thing in the years of my life, that wearing a mask is always better than portraying real you. But choosing which mask to wear, is a tough decision. Something that can put you in a limbo.

Nevertheless, that's the plan.

14 March 2026

Mental pressure is one of the strongest and worst ways of destroying someone from within.

Many people suffer from it quietly. They cannot speak out loud, maybe because the ones causing it are their own family, friends, or relatives.

And slowly, this pressure begins to eat them alive.

Sometimes the people causing the pain don’t even realize it. They don’t know that their words and actions are creating such destruction in someone they care about.

But the question remains — why?

Why is it so hard to understand that we hurt someone? Why is it so hard to accept our fault? Why is it so hard to apologize and assure them that we are with them?

And what should the person who is suffering do?

Should they accept the pressure and continue living with it while slowly losing the joy of life?

Or should they try to speak and stand up for themselves?

Why is it so hard to tell someone we love that their actions are hurting us? Why can't we simply say that it is getting difficult for us?

And in the end, the biggest question remains:

9 March 2026, the day I feel like I'm leaving behind so much. It is so strange, how in a second everything in our life changes. While we are making plans for our future, life plans something else completely different.

Today, it finally hit me that I'm growing up now. That now, I really have to leave behind things, people and memories. Even though I am excited to start something new, for the first time in my life, I am scared too.