pranking myself since 2137AD

the only entertainment my homunculus has is to play half life: uplink and nothing else, one day when it is ready for it i will give it half life 1 and its going to be like that guy crawling out of plato's cave but stupider

they still havent invented an activity that feels as good as telling pigeons that you are "an illimitable power of reckoning beyond their comprehension"

im on a new diet where i only eat one boson within my entire lifetime and nothing else

whatever, you guys arent invited to my amazing paradise utopia anyway

i lost a fight to a single water droplet but i retained my honourable nature so really i won that one

not even my flop posts are good

this guy on youtube making a "paracetamol cake" didnt even apply a crumb coat like this entire endeavour is a complete mess and NOT because of the ingredients its from their own ineptitude

we all know that ronald reagan fucked that jar of jellybeans, right ?

guy called "Big Condiment" is outside walking the streets at night, he's legally mandated to not be allowed to sit down... ever they put pressure sensors on both buttcheeks, if he sits down then an implanted device in his lower abdomen rapidly heats up to around 3000 kelvin on nights like these he likes to go visit his favourite meat disc parlour, its a pretty neat innovation, visionary really, the idea is that a slice of pepperoni is usually round, and a pizza is round, why not invert them, you got little bread discs on a big round disc of meat, it sounds bad, you'd think it'd be bad, but most of the time its actually terrible entering the establishment, Condiment says only two words, "the usual" the man at the desk responds with one "leave" so Big Condiment walks back out into the night, into the streets, into the night, not like he can sit down to contemplate anything

i do soliloquies irl but only talking about how unjustifiable it is that everyone isnt giving me all their worldly valuables and savings all the time

theres this new kind of moral dilemma going around that is expressed in the dichotomy between if you should give me the fiver in your wallet or not, on one hand you could keep it, but on the other hand if you dont do it i'll get sad and thats really a much worse outcome for everyone involved so you should do it really maybe yeah ok yeah please ?

im going to be famous for inventing a new musical instrument, and guess what ? its also going to kill me

cant a charitable sort such as yourself spare a lowly mendicant such as me a mere 137 trillion money ?