Christine Hammond, M.S.

10 Psychological Benefits to Moving

Sorting, packing, transporting, unpacking, and organizing all belongings can be a daunting task. The process takes much longer than anticipated as decisions about the status of each item can be made several times before finalizing. It drains mental, emotional and of course physical energy leaving a person exhausted. Most moves are predicated by some necessity in life such as a change in family…

10 Divorce Precepts to Understand Before Filing

Making the transition from marriage to pre-divorce is difficult. It’s a journey that no one strives to experience and yet so many find themselves beginning the walk. Just to be clear, this article is not about whether or not a person should divorce, rather it simply addresses the fact that so many marriages do separate. The problem is that because a person doesn’t plan for divorce, some of the…

The Levels of Deceptive People

There is a moment of realization when working with a person who seems nice on the surface that something is not right. It usually comes in a flash and without awareness, it retreats just as quickly. It is important to listen to those warning signals. Deceptive people often mask their deviousness, anger, manipulation, and controlling nature behind a kind façade. But even the best of deceptions are…

What Is a Narcissist? | The Exhausted Woman

The word “Narcissist” has it’s origins in Greek Mythology. Around 8AD, there is a story about a beautiful hunter named Narcissus who was exceptionally proud. In order to expose his arrogance, Nemesis (a long standing rival and the origin of the word nemesis) drew him to a pool of water.  Narcissus, upon seeing his reflection and not realizing it was his own image, became so attracted to himself…

7 Tips on Overcoming Anxiety

The other day I was in the dentist office. Within minutes of being placed in the chair, the hygienist’s gloved fingers were inside my mouth. There was an immediate emotional reaction of anxiety as I tried to divert my thoughts from biting her fingers. (Yes, even therapists have strange phobias.) Fortunately, that same week a client presented with severe anxiety so the steps for overcoming an…

How to Win over an Angry Narcissist | The Exhausted Woman

The other day I received a phone call from a narcissist raging over something that just occurred. Within 30 minutes, the narcissist had completely calmed down, the situation had radically deescalated, and there was a clear path forward. Even I, as someone who works with narcissists regularly, was shocked by the dramatic turnaround. Did I just get lucky or was there some method that could be…

13 Reasons Why People Abuse

Hands down, the number one question I get asked in therapy is “Why would they do this?” Mostly, this stems from a person who has been abused and is trying desperately to understand why their attacker is abusive. There are seven forms of abuse: verbal, mental, emotional, physical, sexual, financial, and spiritual. After a person realizes the full scope of their abuse, it is difficult to comprehend…

7 Stages of Healing for Those with Borderline Personality Disorder

Being diagnosed with a personality disorder can be discouraging at first. But if a person has to have one, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is the best. Of all the disorders, BPD has the highest rate of mindfulness and is even marked as having the ability to fully recovery. No other personality disorder can claim such status. The reason for this is that a person with BPD has a heightened…

5 Ways Narcissists Smear Others

Being the victim of a narcissistic smear attack is not fun. Rather, it is an intense campaign designed to humiliate an opponent while simultaneously elevating the narcissist. It requires quite a bit of skill, manipulation, and persistence to successfully pull one off. But for the victim, it can be a shocking and damaging experience. In an unwanted pending divorce situation, narcissists will…

Can a Narcissist’s Deception be Harmful to Millions of People? | The Exhausted Woman

Narcissists have the ability to charmingly convince people anything they want to convey. Their manner of speech, intertwined with shallow flattery and a flashy smile, is woven with truths, half-truths, and fiction. While this might gain media attention for the pure entertainment value and seem innocent, it does have the potential to cause harm on a large scale. This is concept is clearly…

Spiritual Elitism: Narcissism of the Masses | The Exhausted Woman

Several years ago I attended a private function at a highly esteemed religious institution (neither the name nor the type of religion is relevant to this article). I was excited to meet face-to-face people who possessed an excellent reputation and were valued amongst the masses of their religion. The nature of the engagement allowed these leaders to be in a more natural environment where they…

10 Delusions Hoarders Tell Others

While it may seem the use of the word ‘delusion’ is a bit strong to people diagnosed with hoarding, the rational they use to justify their behavior does appear to others as delusional. The classic definition of delusional thinking is an unrealistic unshakable belief or strong conviction in something that is not true or based in reality. There is usually overwhelming evidence contradicting the…

30 Preemptive Signs of Abuse Turning Deadly

Abuse has a pattern similar to an addiction. Once the abuser has utilized an abusive method for a long period of time, the victim develops a tolerance to the abuse so it no longer has the same effect. This aggravates the abuser who then escalates. It should be noted that there are seven primary ways a partner can be abused: mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially, verbally,…

10 Warning Signs a Relationship Is Going Sour

Hindsight is 20/20 vision when it comes to the fall of a relationship. What was once overlooked, minimized, explained away, or discounted now becomes an obvious sign of a deteriorating relationship. At first they seemed so charming, helpful, generous, innocent, and gentle but then things turned and an entirely different picture became apparent. Charming converted into controlling, helpful…

How Narcissism Changes Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Recently a teenager came into my office complaining about the anxiety they were experiencing from their Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) parent. They gave me a few examples. The compulsive handwashing that led to dry and sometimes bloody hands was imposed on everyone in the household. There was a sense of superiority that this family did things such as proper cleaning and sterilized laundry…

Can You Be Addicted to a Person?

The short answer is yes. While this might seem like a strange concept, those who have been victims understand it all too well. An acquaintance starts sending excessive messages, magically showing up unexpectedly, asks too intimate or probing questions, gives inappropriate gifts, and seems to immerse themselves into environments or other friendships just to stay close. At first glance, this might…

10 Common Mistakes Therapists Make During the First Session

Not everyone who comes into counseling truly wants to get better. Some are present because a relationship, an employer, or the legal system mandates it. Unfortunately for the therapist, this is not always transparent initially. Or is it? In Galvin De Becker’s book The Gift of Fear, he identifies patterns of behavior that can be seen at a first encounter which help to discern the difference…