gingersnap

This week is #InfertilityAwarenessWeek

Our infertility story started in 2013 after our first miscarriage. After becoming pregnant super quickly and miscarrying, we struggled to conceive for almost 4 years - experiencing another miscarriage during that time. Those years were really hard and dark. I wanted to share because infertility can be a dark reality for 1 in 8 couples that often goes unseen.

I asked James what he’d want to share with others about infertility, he shared that he hopes people continue to talk about it and press in to loved ones who are walking through it. So with that, I’d like to share a few thoughts:

1. Please don’t ask people when they are going to have a baby. This is asked with pure intentions but you have no clue what challenges (mental health, financial strain, infertility or pregnancy loss) a couple may be going through that is “stalling” their having children. Similarly, be careful about offering advice on how to get pregnant, unless you’ve walked this road. “I have a friend who started working out more and she got pregnant!” Or “Well at least you know you can get pregnant” (after a miscarriage). Or my favorite: “JUST RELAX and don’t stress about it and then you’ll get pregnant!!!!” 

2. If you know someone is struggling to get pregnant, acknowledge it more than you think you should. This doesn’t mean you have to be able to fix it or make the pain go away - it won’t. “The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

3. This isn’t a tip, but a word of gratitude. I am so thankful that my church seeks to care for couples who are infertile or experiencing miscarriages. Every May our family discipleship pastor puts on an evening of worship, encouragement, and prayer for couples who have experienced a loss, and another evening for infertility. This is HUGE! Our teaching pastor is also very sensitive in sharing on Mother’s Day. And these are MEN who are making these efforts to love the women in our church! So, I thank the Lord for a church that isn’t silent about this struggle - especially when churches can put such an emphasis on family and children.

4. And to that point, while walking through infertility, I was not primarily defined as someone who was infertile. Just as NOW, after having a baby, I am not primarily defined as a mother. Because we are made in God’s image, we all have a worth that exceeds any earthly title or status. And we really need each other no matter our season of life - single, married w/o kids, married w/ kids, divorced, etc. I love that God’s family is made up of so many different stories!

I still struggle with our infertility. I don’t know if we’ll be able to have another child, and I still very much feel a sting when I see or hear pregnancy announcements. I have a long way to go in terms of accepting with joy the path that God has for us, even though we have our beautiful Samuel.

“The Lord does use pain for our growth, but at the end of the day, it still hurts. Being driven to the Comforter is part of the process.” Jasmine Holmes

I see now that he wants me to come with my tears and anger, not with a false positivity. He wants to use this to help me open up to others with really sensitive stuff, even when they will not know what to say. Just as they will share burdens with me that I do not understand at all. To love others when they don’t understand my hurt, or to rejoice when they experience the gift of a child more easily than we did, because all gifts are from God and his plans and wisdom are perfect. Mostly he wants us to know HIM through everything. He has shown me that I want MY way, but he’s shown me that he weeps with me, and he knows there will be real hurt in this life.

I love this song from Audrey Assad. These types of songs were such a lifeline to me on hard days. 

“Mountains ahead of me and valleys behind The road may be narrow, but your mercy is wide Sorrow may linger and last for the night but I am never alone

The joy of the Lord is my strength, my strength

I may be weak, but I will cling to the vine I’m pressed but not crushed, for You are making new wine Wounds may be opened and weakness revealed, but I will be healed in the fire

The joy of the Lord is my strength, my strength

Sorrow may linger and last for the night but I am never alone Wounds may be opened and weakness revealed but I will be healed in the fire

I have a river of life flowing out of me...”

- I’ve been seeing a lot of talk about these Lululemon ‘Align’ leggings dupes on Amazon. I have seen two links so here’s the first and second. I haven’t purchased either yet but hope to soon!

- “You’re About to Walk Into Something.” I love this sermon from Eric Mason’s series on Ruth a few years ago. Eric is pastor of Epiphany Fellowship in Philadelphia. Listen here.

Check out The Ultimate productivity Bundle from Phylicia Masonheimer… Goal setting, home management, mindset and self care, and productivity at work.

-- Gluten free? I just bought these coconut wraps per Chris Loves Juila’s recommendation. I was hesitant because they only have 3.5 stars, and coconut can be such an overpowering flavor. But the sweet coconut flavor comes through just a little bit and is actually a nice combo with deli meat and cheese! I can’t afford to buy them all the time but they’re a fun treat.

-- Physician’s Formula Butter Bronzer in Light. It gives a nice glow and warmth to my lifeless winter skin :) This does have a slight tropical scent to it so if that’s not your jam be forewarned. 

Haven’t been on here in a while!  I’ve been thinking about gathering up different resources or interests of mine into short posts. I hope to share articles, products, or information that I’ve found helpful. Here goes: 

Natural Vitality Calm --  I love this stuff. I’ve heard about it for years but finally bought some with a Whole Foods gift card I had. I’ve never slept well, but after not sleeping much for 4 months my sleep quality (and my mental health LOLZ) was all kinds of jacked up. // Pour some boiling water in a teaspoon or two of this and drink it before bed.

Edens Garden Love -- This essential oil blend smells sooo good. I really like the smell of Young Living’s Joy but #ballinonabudget. I wear this as perfume a lot. (They have FREE shipping on all orders, btw. Here’s a referral link from me if you buy anything.)

Instagram Account: CanDo Kiddo -- CanDo Kiddo is a pediatric Occupational Therapist with plenty of tips and tricks for different developmental stages and “milestones” (that dreaded tummy time, anyone?). She does a nice job of balancing helpful encouragements for parents without shaming or coming across as judgy.