La Vie Est Belle

This would be my child if I had one

me as a parent

Five minutes left, on his microwave rice

I know this was meant to be read to the tune of santa claus is coming to town but I immediately read it to the tune of mr brightside

Shetland Islands, Scotland photo by punkodelish

While cleaning your attic, you find a box of glass balls with names on them. You accidentally drop one, and as soon as it shatters, a person appears.

“Dude,” your brother said as he opened the door to the attic. “Stop breaking stuff.”

what if when you went to hell you had to watch your a cinemasins-style video of every sin you committed during your life as part of your punishment

never trust a person who talk to their pets in their normal voice

NOT TRUE before my nephew leaves my home he always looks my dog straight in the eye and says “Delilah. You are a wonderful woman. Have a good day.”

Look we WANT to talk to our dog in a puppy voice but we can’t because he gets so excited that he pees himself so we gotta talk to him like he’s a man so we don’t clean up his piss all day

SOMETHING is doing this, but fuck if we know what the fuck it is. GodDAMN

Jason has forgotten that they’re being censored and has been saying fork because everyone else is saying fork

This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN

dark children’s literature, show me the forbidden butch & femme couple

@thebibliosphere We should do some shit like this in August I’m just sayin

Fucking down with it!

Sometimes it’s scary how fucking accurate this hell site can be

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