Christian

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

if you can’t fix it you’ve got to stand it being the last line of the brokeback mountain novella is so crazy it makes me feel like my guts are falling out. if you can’t fix it you’ve got to stand it. jesus fucking christ

note to self: i am not behind in life. i am doing different things than other people, which is fine, because i have different dreams than them too.

tbh the first step of recovery is to stop feeling kind of proud about how fucked up you are. your martyr complex is not an endearing quirk it’s the fatal flaw that makes your friends feel like garbage and will sabotage your whole life.

everyone needs a creative outlet to stick a creative fork into

i love it when a piece of media is like: is there anything more painful than knowing your sibling? is there anything more tragic than knowing they are the only person who will ever share the same experience as you? they were the only constant in your life. they were there since birth and now, no matter how they betray you, you will still love them. you will always feel the need to protect them even if you can no longer bring yourself to talk to them. will anyone else be able to understand? will anybody be able to love you and hate you and fear you the same way a sibling loves you and hates you and fears you? no, probably not

first base is love bombing second base is having sex third base is going no contact & fourth base is having sex again