I've started to come to terms with my mental disabilities. I'm not just talking about OSDD, I'm talking about my autism.
"But Azzy, you've been aware/accepting all along"
Yes, but I've been masking heavily. Recently, (yesterday) the mask just kinda fell off (for lack of a better example) and I've realized I've been forcing verbality upon myself for almost all of my life, atleast 90% of the x years I've roamed this weird planet.
I started to use AAC for myself and I've become so much more comfortable just existing. I'm voicing how I feel, especially when overstimulated, overwhelmed, etc.
I'm also looking into an AAC that adapts to when I'm non-scribal/semi-scribal, so that I don't have to force myself to type.
Over-all these past 24 hours of virtually no masking has been liberating and I feel like me. Though of course I have my concerns.
- what will my mother think when her child is no longer mostly speaking?
- how will my mothers relationship with me adapt to the "new" me
- how will we teach her boyfriend to adapt to my needs
- what will going out in public be like now
- how will I use AAC during school
(If anybody can answer these questions, feel free)
On a separate category of this topic: I'm also learning what level support needs I am.
I'm *thinking* I'm between level 2 and 3 (the levels that need more support) as I can barely do daily tasks myself, I can't order my own food, go into stores alone, make my own food, sometimes I can't bathe myself, and some other things that make me a higher level support need.
I realized I started rambling but my mental health is something I've always been fascinated by because I've always known I'm not neurotypical. Sorry this got so long ^^
