Saeyoung’s Girl (707 x MC x Saeran)
I really wanted to participate in Choi Sandwich Week! So, I guess this is my contribution. This is from Saeran’s POV by the way. It’s a bit short, but I hope you still appreciate it anyway :)
@choisandwichweek
Day 2: Nostalgia/Jealousy
My lips tugged slightly upward, painting a slight smile onto my face. Giggles spilled from MC’s lips, her hand almost useless in muffling her laughter. I felt a small warmth spread evenly through my chest, sprouting from the pride I felt at being able to make her laugh like that. I did that. Sure, she was amused by Saeyoung’s jokes as well, but there was a hopeful voice in the back of my mind that told me she laughs with just a smidge of a higher intensity at mine. Some cheesy romcom was droning on in the background, which happened to be the subject of my apparently hilarious mockery. Saeyoung was out for whatever reason, which I was okay with. The truth is, I prefer being alone with MC. She helps me relax and become comfortable, because she treats me like I’m normal, not some broken doll being pieced back together, which is how everyone else seems to see me.
“God, Saeran…you’re going to kill me one of these days.” MC spoke as she clutched her sides, trying to regain her breath. Her arm shot out as she aggressively ruffled my newly ginger locks, which I pretended to hate.
“Oh, you’re asking for it now.” I made my voice as gruff as possible, coaxing pearls of laughter from her mouth again. Whatever random movie forgotten, I initiated an all out assault of pokes, tickles, and hair tussles.
“Okay, okay! Truce!” MC’s words drifted out between gasping breaths as she halfheartedly shoved me away from her. A soft smile still brightened my face as I slumped back against the couch, training my eyes back on the TV screen. “Geez, you know that Saeyoung doesn’t believe me when I tell him what you’re like when he’s not home?” Without thinking, the smile was wiped from my face at the mention of my brother. “You don’t have to answer, but why are you so different when he’s home?” I shrugged nonchalantly, trying to look uninterested.
“Past trauma, I guess.” She nodded, honey brown eyes moving back to the television as well. Deep down, I knew that wasn’t the true explanation anymore. It might have been at a time, but not now. Not that I knew the reason, because I really didn’t. It was something I just couldn’t quite put my finger on. Not that it mattered. We sat in silence for a moment, the romcom still weaving its way to our ears, albeit in vain, since the only thing we were listening to was our respective thoughts.
“I’m proud of you, you know.” My gaze found hers, and as it did, I saw that she meant every word. Just like that, that warm feeling spread again. This time, it covered more than just my chest, and it seemed to flood all the way from my ears to my toes. It was a strange feeling that was uncomfortable at first, but as it happened more often, it morphed into something pleasant that I began to cherish. The feeling was similar to the one I used to get whenever Saeyoung would sneak me outside as a kid, but that still wasn’t quite right. I was wrenched out of my thoughts by the door swinging open and Saeyoung’s loud greeting.
“I’m home! And guess what, I brought a surprise!” I rolled my eyes at his stupid over excitement, cynical about whatever was in the plastic bag he was holding. He trotted jollily over to the couch, diving in between me and MC, squishing me against the arm of the couch.
“Hey, watch it!” I spat, feeling animosity seep into me again, which made me more angry. I didn’t want to be spiteful to him, I wanted to love him again. It was why everything was so frustrating.
“Anyways, what have you got there?” MC asked, voice so sweet it almost made me sick. Grinning wildly, Saeyoung brought out a box of frozen treats. Ripping open the box, Saeyoung pulled three out, passing them around to us. I stared at it, memories seeming to dance in the dessert in my hand. The blue double popsicle would mean nothing to MC, but it meant everything to my brother and I.
“I was out getting gas, and while I was doing that, I got to thinking…I promised you that we would get to have another ice cream together, but it was something that I didn’t fulfil.”
There were a lot of promises you didn’t fulfil… I thought, knowing he was thinking the same thing. This was his way of making things right, one step at a time.
“So, naturally, I decided to pick some up on my way home!” He had a goofy grin plastered on his face, although there was something else there. Through twin telepathy, or whatever you want to call it, I could tell he was nervous about if I would accept his way of mending fences. I continued to stare at the sweet treat in my hand, ice crystals melting away from the smooth surface.
“You’re an idiot.” Despite the attitude, my grumble soon gave way to a chuckle as I bit into the dessert.
“Dear god, I got a laugh out of him! MC, it’s a miracle!” He looked as if he was genuinely about to tear up. I tuned him out as I let the taste wash over my tongue, memories bubbling up to the surface. The most prominent one was the pinky promise that we would escape our mother and be together forever. I suppose in some roundabout way, we did end up together, and we most likely will stay that way. “I’m so happy, you know that?” Saeyoung seemed to be addressing both of us, but I knew better. Now he was talking directly to MC, snaking his free arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him. My skin prickled as he did so, intensifying when he leaned in for a kiss. Getting caught up in the moment, he moved his hand to her hair, tangling it in her long brown strands while deepening the kiss. I turned away, biting deep into the frozen treat with my sensitive teeth when MC sighed in delight against him.
“Gross, guys. I’m right here…” My voice trembled, and I cursed the tightening sensation in my chest. If they heard me, they didn’t care. MC giggled as he blew raspberries onto her neck and collar bone, and instead of its usual musical quality, it sounded shrill to my ears. Suddenly, the half-eaten ice cream I was holding didn’t taste very good. I stood up as MC began to slip his jacket off, heading to my room in long, fluid strides. As I passed the kitchen, I dropped the unfinished treat unceremoniously into the trash can.
Jesus Christ, what’s wrong with me? I dragged my hands down my face as I flopped back onto my bed. The door was shut tightly, but choruses of laughter drifted in regardless. My breath caught in my throat as I was finally able to put a name to this feeling.
“Jealousy…” I mumbled aloud, trying the word on for size. I was jealous of my brother. I had never been interested in women, or men for that matter, so my harbored feelings for MC caught me off guard. Of course, the one girl I had ever wanted was unavailable. This envy was only pushing me further back in my efforts to forgive my brother.
She’s happy with him…you want her to be happy, don’t you? For once, my inner voice was being rational and reasonable rather than self-deprecating.
“Tch…” It was painfully ironic how it all worked out. I brought her to the RFA, and she went and fell in love with my twin. I’m not a child, though. If she is truly happy, then fine. I’ll support them as much as my heart allows, because MC deserves it. I would give her the world if I could, and I know for a fact that Saeyoung would do the same. A bittersweet smile worked its way onto my face, and I felt myself relaxing against the mattress. She may be Saeyoung’s girl, but that doesn’t mean I still can’t dream about her. As far as I’m concerned, diving into a dreamland where she could be mine was a better alternative to painful and twisted nightmares. I would take the imaginary relationship any day.
Why do I have to love you this way? Tracing circles onto my chest to comfort myself, I felt surprisingly contented.
“God, what I wouldn’t give for you to be Saeran’s girl…” I chuckled lowly, glad no one was there to hear my sappy mumbling. My breathing fell into a slow and easy rhythm as I began to doze off into a happy slumber, a world where anything was possible, including having the girl of my dreams.
