#saeyoung

[707 reset theory] ray's route

saeyoung knows what today is.

the first day of a reset always starts the same way. saeyoung appears in his desk chair, phone in hand, with a chatroom full of the rfa, including v, which never happens. any minute you will join the chatroom, and he will be forced to act surprised at your arrival.

he's seen everything before. you've pursued each rfa member one by one, sometimes more than once, but he's the only one who remembers. you've gone after yoosung, zen, jaehee, jumin, v, and most recently, saeyoung himself.

his hands move on their own, feigning shock and suspicion in his messages: asking if you're a hacker, how you joined the chatroom, and who sent you. inside, he's distraught as memories of you flood his mind from just yesterday, before this reset occurred. he proposed to you. you said yes.

and here you are again, like it never happened at all.

he wishes he held you longer. enjoyed your time together more. he was such an idiot for thinking his route would be the end for you. everything was almost perfect; he had you and saeran with him, but you chose to leave him. again.

who were you planning to pursue this time?

something about this reset felt different, like it was happening in a different timeline. things felt newer, v was more active, and rika's "death" was more fresh. could this be earlier than the original arc? was this v's route?

saeyoung won't find out right away as it always takes a few days for a route to be chosen, but as time goes on, he notices you don't seem to be giving any rfa member special attention. he's seen you flirt with every member, but this time you're acting strictly platonic with everyone.

it didn't make sense. the only routes were yoosung, zen, jaehee, jumin, saeyoung, and v, right? so, why were you acting this way?

saeyoung couldn't see any additional chat logs apart from the rfa's, so there was no way a new route was added, right? perhaps you were exploring the bad ending that results from not choosing someone, and once you've done that, you'll take mercy on saeyoung and reunite with him again. please let that be the case.

but day five comes and goes. the game continues. he knows this is v's timeline, but you seem indifferent to v... to everyone. what is so different about this reset? why hasn't he seen this before?

saeyoung has tried getting through to you on multiple occasions, trying to gauge your feelings and see if you realize how much he remembers. he tries breaking the fourth wall, but the game prevents him from being too direct. he's stuck being an entity you could never truly know. all he can do is watch things play out.

days pass, and you lose connection to the messenger. only this time, saeyoung can't reach you. in v's route, he still had access, but whatever path you're in now has left him completely empty. which character are you blessing with your attention?

saeyoung completely pulls away from the rfa during your absence. he tries all he can to get you back, spiraling into a depression when his attempts fail. it's one thing to live his life idly by when you're simply not playing the game, but when he knows you're active, he wants to do whatever he can to have access to you. you're the one thing that gives him meaning.

day ten arrives and he has finally gotten you back, but the reunion is short lived because of his kidnapping. it's a cruel twist of fate.

he is brought back to his childhood home for the eleventh day. the rfa releases a broadcast about him, saeran, and the prime minister. saeyoung assumes v told them the whole truth. he can't help but wonder about saeran in this timeline. was he with the rfa now? they wouldn't release the broadcast if saeran wasn't safe, right?

the agency then brings him to rika's apartment, per saeyoung's recommendation. he sells them on it by telling them about the special security system. he also knows that you know the apartment well, and perhaps it will lead to your reunion.

the agency knows better than to discuss plans around him, so he spends most of his time in isolation. for the two weeks that he stays there, he thinks of you to numb the pain. it's well past the end of the route now, so he hopes whoever you're with is making you happy.

one day, the boss handcuffs saeyoung to him, and they sit in the living room of the apartment for hours. they're waiting for someone to arrive, and saeyoung assumes it's his father again.

his heart sinks to his stomach when he sees saeran walk through the door... and it sinks even deeper when he sees him with you.

saeran was given a route, and this was it. finally, it was saeran's turn, and it's where saeyoung has suffered the most. he's been kidnapped, mentally and physically tortured for weeks, and has lost the love of his life to his brother. plus, you knew about their relationship and still pursued saeran. what a cruel joke.

but, in some odd way, he's relieved. the suffering he's endured from the agency is incomparable to the years of suffering saeran endured at mint eye. saeran deserved to be happy, but why did it have to be you?

"saeyoung hyung?" saeran calls in a quiet voice.

saeyoung can feel his heart breaking. it's hopeless. at that moment he'd do anything for saeran, even at the expense of his own happiness. he needed to let you go. saeran deserved this more than anyone.

he could have been so much angrier at saeyoung, but saeran's gentleness was your influence, wasn't it? he can only imagine the journey you two had been through together. he only wished he could see it all.

saeyoung was probably going to die soon, but saeran was given a chance. he is going to do whatever he can to protect that.

so, he convinces the agency to let you both go, to sacrifice himself instead. he knows you and saeran will make each other happy. he tells saeran that everything will be okay. and even if by some miracle he gets out of this alive, the only thing he could wish for is saeran's happiness. he will never come in between you; he will just watch from afar.

sick days with saeyoung

as soon as you start coughing more than usual or something will immediately cry out in alarm

"NOOOO!! take me instead!"

whether it's just a cold or full blown pneumonia, he will treat you the exact same way... doting on you til the cows come home

[enter saeyoung caretaker mode]

at first, he really plays up the role. he will go between butler and maid costumes just to see you smile, but he won't acknowledge the ridiculousness of it. he takes his roles very seriously!

he makes you stay in bed with tissues and meds in easy reach, gets the tv set up with whatever you want, and is always a bell ring away.

if you feel too weak to do anything, such as putting your hair up, for example, he will braid your hair for you and help you get freshened up. he won't care about seeing you at your worst. he loves being able to take care of his love!!

he will give you massages to help your blood flow and encourage you to drink lots of fluids.

will probably build a robot to take your vitals every few hours, or at least your temperature

he will hold you close as you watch tv together, usually that's what makes you feel better, and he knows it.

he will go between making a show of everything ("maid saeyoung at your service!"), or he will work quietly, changing out your overflowing trashcan of used tissues or cuddling you while you're taking a nap.

he will definitely try to make you soup. he will consult yoosung for recipes and do his best for you, but he is not confident in his ability. this is one of the times where he won't be putting on a performance because he genuinely wants it to turn out well. it might take him a couple tries, but you really enjoy it every time he makes it!

saeyoung

if you and saeyoung have been together for a long time, he won't treat you how he did in his route. it will never be that extreme again because he can't stand to lose you

he won't brush off your feelings anymore. when he said he wants to hack your brain and see everything you're thinking and feeling, he was only half joking because in reality, he wants to know everything

you can air out your grievances to him, and he will listen. he genuinely wants you to speak your mind, and he will listen and nod

but if you ask him what he's thinking or how he feels, he'll go quiet

he is not the greatest at verbalizing his feelings, and that's the root of most arguments because on the surface it looks like he doesn't care, or that he's too agreeable with everything you say, but in reality he is still navigating his sense of self and what he wants

when his apparent "indifference" hurts you, his heart clenches. you can visibly see his eyes and posture soften. he hates seeing you cry, and he will scramble to explain everything at once. he almost panics, muttering: "please, don't... oh god, what should i do...?"

he will coddle you afterwards. he'll wipe your tears. he'll swiftly close the distance between you and hug you tight

"sweetheart... i'm sorry... i don't know what's wrong with me... i want to open up, i just don't know how yet, but please... please stay with me!"

he wants to be better for you, and he absolutely will be, in time

v

absolutely plagued with guilt after an argument

he has done a lot of work on improving his self worth, but i see him blaming himself and closing himself off from you at first, convinced he needs to give you space and prevent himself from hurting you again

however, this is a habit he knows he needs to break. he has already gone down the road of self-sacrifice and wanting to shoulder all responsibility alone, but there's really no need for that with you anymore

it can feel like he needs to take everything to the extreme, since being with rika instilled this into his head. in reality, your argument is on a much smaller scale than what he had with rika, and it may be hard at first for him to recognize that

like saeyoung, he may pull away just for a moment, but he won't leave the room. he will suddenly get quiet and shut you out, but it's like he's unable to hear you. he will get super in his head about everything, spiraling a little bit, and jumping to the worst case scenarios. are you going to leave him? how can he fight for you to stay?

he will snap out of it when he sees the tears in your eyes, and it's like his thoughts have completely vanished. now, he's eager to comfort you

"my love... i'm so--" he'll start to say, but you're already up and moving. when he sees you, his body moves on instinct, and he opens his arms to you where you meet him in an embrace