my head is too small to contain my thoughts

Love when people accidentally recreate the meme like with the "fuck this post and happy birthday Sonic" one

life is so hard when you’re a very lazy girl by nature but you also want to do a lot of things in your one wild and precious life

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

work tomorrow is one of the worst things that can happen to you

not all character interpretations are valid some of you are sexist

not all character interpretations are valid some of you are racist

there should be a rule u can’t get stressed for 30 minutes after u wake up. i just woke up. spawn invincibility please.

I’m a magician in the sheets 😏 *pulls a rabbit out of my pussy*

-Mary Toft, 1726

Hold on I need to look something up

What

yeah. sorry

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all