is just making me think about shit like this:

Imagine yourself standing in the rain on the bank of a raging river. Suddenly, the water-swollen bank gives way. You fall in and find yourself being tossed around in the rapids. Your efforts to keep afloat are futile and you are drowning. By chance, along comes a huge log and you grab it and hold on tight. The log keeps your head above water and saves your life. Clinging to the log you are swept downstream and eventually come to a place where the water is calm. There, in the distance, you see a riverbank and attempt to swim to shore. You are unable to do so, however, because you are still clinging to the huge log with one arm as you stroke with the other. How ironic. The very thing that saved your life is now getting in the way of your getting where you want to go. There are people on shore who see you struggle and yell, “Let go of the log!” But you are unable to do so because you have no confidence in your ability to make it to shore.

—Eating By The Light Of The Moon

* I love podcasts because I find they help me tune out the anxiety / depression / intrusive thoughts. Here are my current faves it you need some recommendations -

Food Psych - about eating disorders, health at every size, intuitive eating, & diet culture.

Secret dinosaur cult - feminist, political, fat positive, HILARIOUS.

Crime junkie - true crime (very respectful, imo).

Wine & crime - true crime, funny.

Freeing the wild women - wild woman, witchcraft, manifestation, law of attraction, spirituality.

Gal pals - lgbtq+, news, funny, all around pure but educational.

Side note - science!

The Stella rae podcast - manifestation, law of attraction, spirituality, feminist, dare I say…woke?