Chloe's Blog of Awesomeness

Would be asleep right now, but there are Fictional Characters to imagine in emotional situations. You know how it is.

listen hobbit pussy could be mediocre (doubtful) but even if it was it's still followed by a 17 course homecooked meal and the kind of weed that would make sauron scared. lithe beautiful immortal elven pussy has no power compared to the simple, hardworking hobbit. and it goes without saying that you cannot handle dwarven pussy.

Every time I see some deep cut Tolkien post on Tumblr I think back to how Stephen Colbert basically admitted to having an account and said we'd never find him. And depending on the nature and quality of the post I am looking at, I will hope that that is Mr. Colbert. Anyway this is a 12/10

What

this is the only heritage post that matters to me

Every time I get groceries I’m always appalled at how little you can get for like, $20. I was making banana pudding so I needed vanilla wafers but the brand name nilla wafers cost $4 a box. The minimum wage in my state is $7.25/hr. My friend put it really well when he said “imagine you work for an hour and someone hands you two boxes of nilla wafers and said ‘actually this is a bit more than what I owe you’”

How are some of y’all missing the point so bad. “Shop at aldi instead” “make your own food” “don’t buy brand name” “don’t buy unhealthy processed food” It’s not about the box of cookies. This is about how minimum wage pays peanuts and has stagnated for 12 years while the cost of living keeps growing. No one wants your financial advice about how to survive on beans and rice and frozen veggies. The smartest grocery list in the world is not gonna help you budget your way out of poverty. Please get a grip for the love of god

I think my problem is I just don’t care about the other mandalorians. like I’m sorry u made bad decisions in ur off brand armor and are living on a dangerous desert planet w creatures that kill at least three of you daily. I’m tuning in to watch bounty hunter din djarin tote around his green baby in his space western not ur mess

Boomers are like you couldn’t make Seinfeld today bc the woke mob would cancel it meanwhile every five seconds I see a tumblr post that’s like here’s my idea for an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry starts going by They/He. Idk what point there is to be made here but it does suggest something

It suggests that whilst Seinfeld was never exactly going out of its way to be outwardly progressive, it was a reflection of the values of the society it was born out of. The characters, whilst brilliant, were purely comedic with very little emotional depth or backstory given to them and therefore existed purely as vessels for comedy and thus they translate very easily to the modern day. George would absolutely get himself cancelled online but not because he’s a bigot, but because he’s an idiot who would think it was OK to make a bad taste joke. Elaine would go out of her way to be overly accepting of everyone’s identities and sexualities, not because she’s a good person but because she’s obsessed with everyone else’s image of her as a good person. Those archetypes can be taken very easily from the society of the early 1990s and the values there to the society and values of the 2020s without losing any sense of their core. 

The mark of a good sitcom cast is that you can drop them into pretty much any situation and they'll all react to it in ways that are both different and funny

Tag yourself. I'm the Mythosaur hiding at the bottom of waters thinking, "Ain't nobody gonna find me down here", and then this idiot Mandalorian just falls ass first into your home while he's taking a bath.

why are moose so terrifyingly large

Because they’re pretty much legit surviving Ice Age megafauna and almost everything was bigger back then

his moose leaves for a few weeks to Fuck

if you would like to try and stop the moose leaving for a few weeks to Fuck you are welcome to try, buddy