Wait what??

Second of all, no I don't think it's bad you're avoiding sex because you think it will be dissapointing. Because maybe it will be. I mean, unless you fall on the love of your life who's also a great lay from the first try... it will be dissapointing at some point. I don't think you should ever force yourself to have sex or like "try to get past it" or smth like that. If you're not arroused, dip out. But also, if you do end up in a situation where you do actually want to have sex (and the circumpstances are safe yada yada yada), i think it would be silly to withdraw just bc of some made up rule about how you'll always prefer masturbation to sex.

Well... im open to suggestions too lol

I know plenty smart and respectable people who love her but they all read her when they were teens. I didn't, I read her as an adult which means I don't have that tenderness for her. I can understand the horrible stuff she went through and I'm not interested in tearing down a woman like that but... i mean... Are we not all kinda grossed out by people who seek other's approval so bad? She was a talented writer but she wasn't very smart. And for the whole sex thing, I mean maybe I'm wrong because I didn't read everything she wrote, but from the diaries that I did read, her approach to sex isn't even pure desire like pure arrousal, but rather an arrousal constructed through the desire she provokes in men. This is the kind of women I despise the most lowkey... Like that's the thing, I'm an edgy woman with a high libido, I'd love to read about women perverts. And then someone suggest you a so-called perv woman and it's just the old regular boring "I want to be the ultimate object of desire" bullshit. Like okay Emily Rajatoski

Bonjour Tristesse by Francoise Sagan, idk how it was translated