I cannot forget BTS breaking down and crying tonight– admitting that they thought of disbanding. There comes a day in every fan’s life when they realise that increasing a band’s fame, their awards, their records–is not enough to give them lasting happiness. Today is that day for me.
Today is the day I look back at every smile, every laugh, every seemingly happy moment BTS has ever shown us-and wonder at the world of pain they must have been hiding behind it.
They have been telling us, in their own way, through their concept photos– the grabbing hands, the voyeuristic cameras, the globes they enclosed themselves in, walling them off from the wider world–songs such as Reflection, Sea, Fake Love– all speak of a bitter hurt and forbidding trial.
We were too caught up in dizzying dreams of sending BTS to the topmost peak– not realising the higher the height, the greater the fall.
The life of an idol is a lonely one–filled with pressure and endless work, and I will never stop owing BTS for choosing this pain-filled fate just to bring us some joy and peace, and to spread their hopes and dreams with the world.
Let us now become aware of the magnitude of BTS’ sacrifice, and the monumental gift they give to us every day by choosing to stay together, to fight against the darkest of their demons, to keep dreaming, to keep doing their damndest to perform to the best of their abilities–and let us vow to help them understand that their happiness is what matters most.
We acknowledge your strength and suffering, BTS. We see you for who you are–the real you– not just the smiling facade this industry forces you to put on–hurting, broken, flawed–still persevering. Still shining. Still beautiful.
A fierce ache and a fierce pride fills my heart today–as it fills theirs.
Here’s to you, BTS. ❤️
