✨denna✨

goodnight

I’m disappointed and find you quite lame. I’m a lover with all my heart, but I am a strong woman that knows when to step the fuck away. It was a really hard decision but I needed our relationship to end. I’m glad I met you because I learned boundaries for myself. I’m not perfect and have never claimed to be such a radical thing. I feel so angry. I feel so angry that I believed your words and commitments to me. I feel so angry that I sit here and look at the last messages between us, it’s like nothing mattered to you after nearly a year together. I feel like this entire time I pushed away red flags about you because I thought I knew you, but those red flags were in fact very true to your character. You’re an alcoholic asshole who doesn’t respect women. It’s true. I don’t want to believe it because I thought I knew you. You only care about women that are convenient or benefit you. You’re so selfish. You never bought me flowers. I never got to go to the skegss concert with you or go try persian food at ravagh. I never got to go on that couple massage with you. I never got to see you for who you truly are. You just cut me off and that’s okay. I got to see you in this light and I can’t unsee it. I should be grateful you aren’t spewing up bullshit words to me trying to get me to stay. I will never see you on my own terms again. You’re not getting back your belongings. You can go fuck your self. You’re gay. You’re so misogynistic. You’re never in tune with your emotions because you have such an ego and crazy toxic masculinity. I hope you go to therapy because God knows you need it. I don’t think you wanted to be in a relationship with me anymore. I’m glad I broke up with you. It’s best it happened this way. I’m so sad. I really loved you. I really really really fucking loved you. Sometimes life isn’t fair. Nothing lasts forever. I savored you in the moments we had together and that’s all they are now. Past memories. I don’t think you’ll reach out to me. I just hope you drop off my belongings. I guess this is it. I’m sure i’ll look back at this months from now and laugh. But for right now it really sucks. I just feel left in the dark with my thoughts. I am left to think about all of this on my own. That’s a pretty rough task. But i’m a strong woman! I’m a strong woman. I’m really happy I’m not with a man who disrespects women anymore. That wasn’t true to me as a person. I had no other option.

there was once a driving force in my life. once i realized that driving force was merely a survival response to the environment i grew up in… that’s where i was left astray. i just want to run away. i don’t want to be here anymore.