That's Life

Before tumblr dies… anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me

Having a “crush” is a level 3 horny offence and against Tumblr ToS, delete your fucking blog

Live horny die horny motherfuckers

Not a curse but I fucking need this right now .

hope all my followers stumble into some cash to-night~

Could use some money right now.

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99

Most certainly.

Kids be so damn cute and innocent like how

Awwww

The real story is even cuter 😩💕

IM SO GLAD I KNOW THE STORY

MY HEART

Blessed post

film idea: white girl with long brown hair is living in a dystopian society. she is different, though. she can punch things. she punches things and changes the world.

Hmmm ever heard of Divergent? Think you need to read that before you reblog this stupid ass post again. Or even hunger games. There’s quite a lot more but I’m sleepy so I won’t go into detail.

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD THIS IS BY FAR THE BEST RESPONSE TO THIS POST

ok so there’s a game me and my friends play called “don’t get me started” and basically someone gives another person a random topic and they have to go on an angry rant about it and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us at parties and car rides so I highly recommend playing sometimes with your friends

I love this idea. We used to do things like this in Improv.

Related game: “THINK ABOUT IT.” You’re given a random topic, and your job is to build it into an epic conspiracy theory, the crazier the better. You end your rant with a serious face and the command that your listeners “Think about it.” 

Another related game: Illuninati. Similar to Think About It except you are given 2 completely different topics and you have to connect them to each other in a wild conspiracy rant

Rb to safe an awkward hang out

Converse are neither waterproof, nor warm, nor comfortable but dammit if they don’t look good

I love my 1920s factory worker shoes

My chiropractor says the lack of arch support is ruining my knees

are you fucking for real

Imagine being the criminal who returns weekly to make sure his fucking plant art is doing alright

Later

I found it! I fucking found it! In my fucking dash! Nothing can stop me now! *EVIL GIGGLES*

OMG SAME RIGHT I SAW IT A YEAR AGO AND WAS UPSET I COULDNT FIND IT AGAIN

When your mom pull up and you forgot to take the chicken out the freezer.

People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?

Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.

i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone

They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them

I think this is like the first positive post about boys that isnt to do with a celebrity for ages and it is actually super nice to read????

My dumb ass Monkey brain every time I see the name “Geoff”: gee-off