Nancy Jo this is alexis neiers calling

It’s not our business

come here

Shoutout to the middle schooler who tripped on the way out of the school auditorium and yelled “Aw fuck! I’ve been nerfed!” I’ve been thinking about that for four hours now

If Edna dissed me like that I’d have to throw my whole self in the trash out of shame.

when you are SAD go to the THRIFT STORE and purchase FLORAL porcelain objects

currently drinking juice with my custom krazy straw that says “bitch” while wearing comically large sunglasses and i think im finding my true self rn tbh

How long must you suck in order for you to finally get the juice?

not gonna lie it takes a few seconds but whats the point of being a bitch if im not gonna be over the top

I feel jealous of the scientists who get to spend their time dressing up rats in jackets.

who even thought it would be a good idea to put rats in lingerie

Who are we to deprive rats of the right to be sexy?

this is just too much now

i called a place to get winter tires on my car and the guy asked me for my “tire size” and “rim type” i have never been so scared in my life sir i don’t know how to use my windshield wipers

Alright but in reality, if you’re driving a vehicle you should be responsible enough to know your tire size, oil type, how to change a tire, and you should keep jumper cables in your trunk. It’s not cute to be incompetent. Especially when all these things can be learned through comprehensive video tutorials on YouTube, which you most certainly know how to use.

i would rather die than learn something . Go to hell