The Declassified Files of the Man with the Chicken Head

lots of handwringing and discomfort about the phenomenon of kinks forming before puberty but if you think about it’s it’s much scarier to imagine a world where kinks only ever appear without warning when you’re fully grown

on your 18th birthday—wait no let’s say 25th birthday—you must undergo the traditional ritual and be assigned a kink that will determine the course of your sex life forevermore and place you within the corresponding faction. you close your eyes and pray that it’s something kind of classy and chic and practical and affordable and not something that will freak you out or embarrass you. the girl before you comes out crying; she’s autistic and got “prolonged eye contact”. you gulp. someone else is hastily pulling up Wikipedia. the anarchist guy covered in ACAB pins scowls at the floor, resentfully contemplating his uniform fetish.

Man, these YA dystopias are really starting to reach for fresh concepts.

one sexually mature adult woman dares to defy it all… what will happen to her world when she walks out of the ritual with a kink for feet…. AND inflatable pool toys?

the procrastinator’s mind will invent distractions you’ve never conceived of in order to avoid tasks even a dog could do.

The entire range of human skin tones varies from so pale white that it's almost kind of blue, to so deep black that it's almost kind of blue, and I think that's beautiful. Do you love the colour of the guy.

love myself a cockroach of a character. i look at them and go ”how is that fucker not dead? they should be dead. they should be dead ten times over. how are they not?” and 90% of the time the answer is a combo of sheer stubborness and homosexuality

it's so hardcover –> we're so paperback

this post is making me pronounce hardcover in a way i never considered

Oh so you'd rather use eugenics on animals and abuse them instead? 🙄

i was about to get violent then i saw the handle im crying

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

wait wait wait stew goblin wait

wait babe do you see how the vibrator is making those standing waves in the puddle of precum on your belly? you can see the fundamental frequency produced by the vibration there but there's also a couple of harmonics! I wonder what th--yes I know you were about to finish hold on this is more interesting. do you think that's from the vibrational modes in the structure of the vibe itself or is it more from the interface with the fluid? hold on, see how it--would you stop fucking squirming for a second. I'll let you cum in a bit just let me talk about physics first. this is more important.