Shattered teacups

You jump at the sound of the door opening, seeing him on the other side of it.

“Get ready, we’re riding out.”

You had been Higgs’s captive for days, taken from your home as revenge against your grandfather. He must have been hot on his tail; that would be the only explanation for them leaving their little hideout.

Any other time, you would have been thrilled to be rescued, but you found yourself quickly getting ready as instructed. You tell yourself it’s to play along so Higgs wouldn’t kill you or your grandfather, but you knew better than that. Higgs wanted him dead, and vice versa. You were just the poor sap in the middle. There was another reason, a reason you still were trying to understand within yourself.

The door opened again, Higgs throwing a long-sleeve shirt and overall pants at you.

“Put these on,” he instructs as he places a hat on your head. “Stuff your hair in the hat too, so no one looks at you twice.”

You nod, not asking any questions. You wait for him to leave, but he shuts the door behind him, leaning against it.

“Go on and change now,” he tells you again. When you don’t move, he raises a tattooed brow at you.

“Little past modesty with us, don’t you think?”

That was the other reason, this…exchange between the two of you. He had made it well known how he was attracted to you. Even went as far as getting between your legs every chance he got without actual sex. Your virginity remained intact in that regard…but that was holding on by a thin thread, too. Despite his darkness, Higgs was a gentleman in his own way. However, he made it very clear he was not going to wait around much longer.

“Next settlement we get to, I’m taking what’s mine,” he warned you. The thought terrified you yet thrilled you at the same time.

It was insanity, you finally losing your wits, allowing a man who kidnapped you to do unspeakable things to you. You didn’t even think one would do that, and yet…he showed you things you would never have dreamed of. You didn’t want your grandfather dead either, but you found yourself not wanting to leave Higgs’s side.

You sigh, removing the dress you had been wearing for several days after the kidnapping. Leaving your undergarments on, but then you heard Higgs whistle in protest.

“That too, that’s only gonna constrict you.”

You open your mouth to protest, but all he had to do was give you a look, a silent warning. You turn away from him, slowly sliding the garment off. The warm air hits your skin, making you let out a shaky breath. You could practically feel Higgs’s eyes on you, scanning every inch of your body as you hear his boots walking across the worn-out wood.

“You know,” he speaks with a deep drawl. “We might have a little time for me to play with that pretty body of yours a bit.”

You shudder at the heat from his body radiating against yours. You couldn’t move, feeling his gloved fingertips drag over any inch of skin he could get before snaking around your waist. Those gloved hands, rough leather from riding and the elements cupping your breasts, your nipples hardened from the texture. A familiar wave of heat pools between your legs as you huff at your body betraying you once more.

“Mm…Like that, baby?” He speaks in your ear, rolling your nipples between his thumb and index finger. “Gonna let me have my way with you?”

You could feel his obvious arousal pressed against you, using his hips to move you toward the bed.

“God, I can’t wait to finally bury myself in you. Feeling you so wet and tight for me without sticking it in has been pure torture.”

His hot breath tickles your ear, his hands still working the sensitive peaks as he rolls his hips against you.

“Gonna fill you up so good baby, no man ain’t gonna compare to me…won’t need to anyway…gonna ruin you beyond comprehension.”

He bends you over just a bit with the upper half of his body, his hips bucking against you, which makes the tip of his clothed hardness press against your opening. The both of you filling the room with heavy pants and soft moans.

“You're gonna let me, baby? Let me fuck that hot little pussy of yours good and slow, practically rip you apart…fill you up to the fucking brim.”

He quickly turns you over, capturing a nipple in his mouth. His deep groan vibrates through you as you feel him give it a deep, sensual suck. Moving away only to flick it with his tongue before giving the other the same amount of attention.

“Let me taste you, baby,” he breathes, kissing down your body and sinking to his knees. “Gotta…fuck, I need it on my tongue for the ride.”

Just then, there was a banging at the door, making you jump. Higgs growls angrily at the disruption.

“Yeah!” He yells out, clearly annoyed.

“We got the horses ready, boss. If we gotta ride, we need to ride out now!”

“The one time they are actually punctual,” he mutters before yelling at the man that he’s coming out. Higgs then turns back to you with a defeated sigh, but quickly moves his head, giving you a long lick from folds to clit. With an extra flick, he gets back up with a hum of satisfaction.

“That should hold me,” his eyes were hooded, looking down at you. “Now get dressed.”

After quickly getting dressed and putting the hat on, you walked out of the shack to join him and his men. A horse was waiting right next to Higgs, one you hopped on as he handed you a bandanna.

“Cover your face,” he instructs while pulling up his. It was the gang’s colors, black and dark yellow. Again, you don’t argue. Pulling it up as he kicks off his horse to ride off.

This was not your first time riding a horse, but you were trained to ride in a dress. Proper, composed. This was the first time you rode freely, as if you were a part of it all…a part of them. It felt rather…freeing. For a brief moment, you weren’t being held against your will by a gang. You were in the gang. Higgs certainly noticed, looking at you for a moment and giving you a wink. You felt your heart flutter in that moment…oh, if your grandfather knew what you were feeling and what this man was doing to you, he would flip his gourd!

It was about sundown when you arrived in a town, a town you did not recognize. You had to have been miles from home, you thought, far from your grandfather, your old life. You were quick to follow Higgs’ lead, mounting off the horse as he and some of the men walked toward a building. Only to feel a hand placed on your shoulder to stop you.

“You may not want to follow him in there,” the man said as you turned around. You recognized him, but never spoke to him. Come to think of it, it had been a while since any of the other men talked to you after the incident where you were almost attacked. You looked confused, only getting a chuckle from him in reply.

“He said you were sheltered,” he had the same drawl as Higgs, but warmer. “But come on, you don’t know a whore house when you see one?”

You could feel your heart drop as you looked back at the building. Right on cue, a rather voluminous woman came out, grabbing one of the men by the crotch. Your eyes widened, turning back to look at the man talking to you. He chuckles again, nodding his head back at the horses.

“Come on, boss man told me to take you to camp.”

You don’t argue, following him until you both make it there. It looked pretty much like the camp back home, just more isolated from being up in the mountains. The man shows you where you would be staying, allowing you to put the little items you had down.

“Knowing Higgs, he won’t be there long,” the man informs you. “It’s more for the other crew to unload, so to speak.”

“Then why are you here?” You then ask, and the man chuckles again.

“Not my thing,” the man replied. You nod, going back to looking around. “If you need anything, I’ll just be outside the door.”

“Why are you staying outside?” You turn back to him to ask. This man was not like the others; he seemed…polite.

“Got orders to keep guard until he gets here,” the man replied. “Believe it or not, there are some bad folks out there.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the irony; the man seemed to have found it funny as well.

“I’m Buck, by the way. Most folks just call me Veteran,” he finally introduces himself. “If you need anything, holler, and I’ll do what I can.”

“Why do they call you Veteran?” You ask just as he was about to turn and leave. “I’m sorry, I just…you’re the only other person I have talked to here other than Higgs.”

“Yeah, well…pretty obvious why,” Veteran replied. “I was in the war, got let go from a bad injury, and well…the government loves to get people to fight for them but never rewards those who almost lose their lives. Was working as a courier before I met Higgs, convinced me to take back what was taken from me, so here I am.”

You could only nod, looking down at your feet.

“I’m sorry,” you finally speak up. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Don’t be, I don’t mind. It was a part of my life, and it made me who I am. And truth be told, it’s been a hot minute since I talked with someone with some intellect.”

You smile, feeling your nerves settle.

“The feeling is mutual,” you let out a sigh. “Would it be too much trouble to have more of an intellectual conversation?”

Veteran looked apprehensive at first, but then he nodded.

“Why not? You play cards?”

“I used to play Rummy a lot with my grandpa,” you reply.

“Then Rummy it is.”

You played with Veteran for what felt like hours. Having a small conversation between the two of you. You tell him about your life before the capture, and he tells you stories about his war days. It was nice, not that you didn’t enjoy Higgs’ company…but being able to talk to someone else who wasn’t trying to kill you or rape you was a nice change of pace. Besides, it didn’t seem like Higgs was coming back anytime soon…a notion that gave you a sinking feeling in your stomach.

“Do they…go to those types of places often?” You suddenly ask. “The whore houses, I mean.”

“Sometimes,” Veteran replied. “Like I said, it's a way for them to let off some steam. You can only enjoy a hand for so long, hell, there have been moments of some of them going on each other…not that I’m judging.”

“And Higgs? Does he go…often?”

“Eh bout the same. He drinks mostly or goes on some peyote kick…fucking whores are an afterthought.”

You nod, looking at the deck in your hand, something that did not go unnoticed by him.

“You know…Higgs wasn’t the leader of this outfit to start with when I met him,” Veteran spoke up. “Looked mighty different back then, too. The leader at the time was a rough, paranoid man. Spouted nonsense about everyone being demons or something. Higgs was the man’s nephew, his right hand, and the brunt of all his rage. God, he beat him bad, so bad he could hardly move the next day, and he just…took it. Eventually, Higgs had sort of a…mental break, so to speak. Shot him cold-blooded, used every bullet he had in both of his guns. After that, Higgs changed. At first, I was worried he was getting crazy like the old man, but he assured me he wasn’t. Granted, he does have his crazy moments, takes too much pleasure in torturing folks, but…after what I saw? It’s justified.”

You look from your deck as he continued. “Despite all that, never once did I see him kidnap a girl. Shoot them in front of their daddies or husbands, yes…but never take them. I suppose it’s like how pirates are, bad luck if you keep a woman around. I thought for sure he was gonna torture you, slice you up to make an example out of you, but…no. And when he killed that guy trying to attack you…it sort of reminded me of how he killed the old boss. There was feeling in those kills.”

You watch as he lays his deck down, pouring a glass of liquor in front of you.

“I guess my point is…you got him feeling some type of way. And I can pretty much bet money he is doing the same to you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have gotten all quiet about the idea he’s with a whore.”

You open your mouth to protest, but quickly close it. This guy could read you like a book, it would seem.

“My advice? Just let him fuck you. The chances of you leaving this group alive are about slim to none. Even if you do, those boys back home are not gonna to want to touch you. You’re pretty much damaged goods.”

His brazen advice took you aback as he downed his drink.

“Now, that being said, I think it’s high time I get some shut-eye. You should too.”

You watch as he gets up, following his lead.

“Thank you,” you tell him. “I hope I can talk with you some more, have a little rematch.”

“I highly doubt it, but it was a nice change nevertheless.” With that, he tilts his hat at you before stepping out. You take a breath, looking to see if you can at least wash yourself for the night.

What you didn’t realize, was as soon as Veteran stepped out and closed the door, he was greeted by a knife to his throat. He lets out a huff, as if expecting it. Holding his hands up in surrender.

“You really don’t have to do that, Higgs.”

Higgs looked at him with a cold look on his face, staying painfully still.

“I give you one simple job, and I find you stepping out my door. Please, do enlighten me why I quote ‘don’t have to do that’?”

Silence hung between the two men, neither one budging.

“We just talked and played some cards,” Veteran calmly explained. “You can go in there and see for yourself.”

“Cards, you really expect me to believe you two just…played cards like y’all are old friends?”

“She wanted someone to talk to. And I felt bad for her,” Veteran replied.

“Then you talk to her through the god damn window,” Higgs sneered, threatening to press the blade closer. “Out of all these fucking animals, I trust you. Would take a bullet for you.”

“And me to you.”

“Not with what I just saw,” Higgs replied, his voice getting dangerous. “I think you saw a golden opportunity, played with my trust to finally get her alone so you can dazzle her with your fucking southern charm. Is that it? Was it worth betraying me like this?”

Veteran could only sigh, as if annoyed.

“I know that girl has got you on fire, but come on. Do you really think I would throw away years of friendship over some cooch?”

Higgs’s eyes widened in anger, pressing the blade just enough to draw blood.

“Hold it, Higgs, just…please listen. Believe me when I tell you, even if I was stupid enough to do that, that girl is too wrapped up about you.”

He could see Higgs taken aback, lowering the blade down.

“She tell you that?” Higgs asked.

“Didn’t have to, girl practically sulked at the thought you had some whore bent over and not her. I told her to just let you get your rocks off, do us both a favor.”

Higgs takes a deep breath, looking at the door, then back at Veteran. The other man taking it as a sign he finally calmed down.

“Good, now that we established that. I’m gonna finally get some sleep. And for fucks sake man, if you wanna bed her, do it. If you wanna marry her, damn boy, do that too! Just don’t…don’t drag this for longer than it has to.”

With that, he walked off, leaving Higgs to his thoughts. He takes a shaky breath, looking at the door before putting the knife away. He then fixes himself, as if trying to make himself presentable before walking in.

You had finished your attempt at a rag bath when you heard the door. You were instantly on edge, only to find Higgs standing there. He looked…conflicted. Like he had far too many emotions to process. You look at him confused at first, watching him look at the table where the cards still laid before letting out a sigh.

“You really were just playing cards,” he spoke up before taking his hat off and placing it on a chair nearby. “God dammit.”

You didn’t say anything, just continued to watch as he rubbed a gloved hand over his weathered face. When you finally open your mouth to speak, he holds his hand out to stop you.

“He told me that you thought I was with some whores. Is that true?”

Your eyes widen at the question. That seemed to be the answer he needed.

“I did, I tried at least,” he admitted. “I thought if I…fucked you out of my system I would end this…fucking torture you have me in.”

Your heart sank, eyes cast down at your bare feet.

“But they are so…god damn noisy. And I kept thinking…you aren’t like that. You moan pretty, like you mean it. I never had…anything so sweet, and I haven’t even put it in you yet. I should have, I should have rutted you a long time ago, but I-I wanted something, for once in my miserable life, to be mine and mine alone. The thought of another man even looking at you, I just wanna carve his god damn eyes out. Hell, I almost killed my only friend because I thought he…”

You look back at him, instantly shaking your head in horror.

“He didn’t-“

“I know,” Higgs interrupts you. “But in that moment I felt…Like, I finally have something good to touch, and now everyone wants a piece. That bothers me deeply. Knowing you have that pull on me.”

“Higgs-“

“Hush,” he interrupts again. “Just let me talk. I…have never had anything good in my life. My life has been nothing but death and darkness. Everything I touch ends up bloody on the floor, so much so I crave it now. I wanted to hurt you…so god damn badly. Make your old man suffer. Then I get one taste of you…And I’m now consumed in the mere thought of you. And you know the worst part of it? I crave, and I break my own heart doing it. Do you have any idea how that feels for a creature like me? Who believed, his whole life, that he only had a black hole where a heart should be. Only to find out that ain’t true? That it beats…and yearns. Fucking yearns to see one gentle look or a smile from you?”

He takes a step forward, but you don’t move.

“I keep telling myself you’re allowing me to touch you so you can save your hide. That you really don’t want me…who would? I’m nothing, I am a dark, bottomless pit. I don’t deserve love; hell, I don’t deserve comfort. I sure as shit ain’t the type that’s gonna change and become some high member of society because I’m not. I’m an outlaw, a lunatic, a cold-blooded killer. I should just…cut my losses, let you go, and wait for the Marshalls to shoot me dead so I can fight in a blaze of glory.”

He was right, you did allow him to do those things to you because you wanted to stay alive. And maybe you were going crazy…but you have caught yourself enjoying it. Enjoying him.

“But I won’t, I’m not gonna let you go. Especially now after what he said about you. But I need to hear it from you. I need…I need to hear you say it. Because if you don’t.”

Suddenly, you watch as he pulls out one of his guns, aiming it at you. You could feel your heart tighten in a panic, looking at the weapon, then back at him.

“I will put a bullet in between your pretty eyes. As much as it pains me…I will not keep torturing myself.”

Slowly, you hold out your hand, trying to calm your own nerves.

“I’m…I find my feelings about you very confusing.” You speak carefully. “You killed a hired hand, take me from my home. I spent days hardly eating or anything. And yet…when I am around you…I do find myself caring for you.”

You watch as Higgs lowers the gun, his lower lip trembling as if he was trying to hold himself together.

“Yes, when Veteran told me where you were going when we got here…I did catch myself almost…heartbroken. Because I clearly have never been with a man before and-and I like the way you…you touch me. And I thought, with the way you spoke about me, that we were exclusive? God, I sound so silly.”

“No, you’re not,” his voice was raw, thick with emotion. Letting out a shaky breath, he puts the gun away, and you never thought you could have felt more relieved. “It’s not silly at all…far from it.”

“Am I going crazy?” You asked, more to yourself than to him. Higgs could only laugh, most manic.

“Oh, there’s no doubt about that, sweetheart,” he replied. “But it’s been my personal experience that the best people are a bit cracked.”

You watch as he walks closer to you with purpose, cupping your face into his hands as his tall frame hovers over you.

“You really do mean it…don’t you? I-I’m not just hearing things?”

You had never seen him with so much emotion, such softness. If you were honest, that frightened you the most, knowing the violence he could easily snap back to.

“Of course I do, did…did you mean it?” You asked in a small voice. A deep groan escaped him, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Every fucking word, babydoll…including me telling you I’m taking what’s mine once we settle.”

He quickly picks you up, carrying you to the bed on the other side of the room. You didn’t have any other clothes to change into, leaving you no choice but to stay in the shirt he had you wear, with nothing underneath. A notion that wasn’t lost on him, instantly spreading your legs until you were on full display.

“Fuck…so god damn pretty,” he whispers. Ripping the gloves off his hands, he could brush his fingers against your throbbing clit.

You whimper, biting a knuckle as you feel him rub the sensitive nub with the rough pad of his thumb.

“This is mine, you fucking hear me?” He growls. “This is all mine; it was meant to be mine. Every fucking inch of you.”

You nod, only to welp as he slaps a hand against your wetness.

“You better fucking say it,” he demands. “Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” you breathe.

“Every inch is mine?”

“Yes…oh my god yes!”

“Damn fucking straight it is.”

Higgs practically rips the shirt you had on off, leaving you fully naked as he does the same to his own clothes. You couldn’t help but stare at him as his naked top half was exposed to you. The man was riddled with scars, long and jagged, to bullet size. You felt compelled to sit up, brushing your fingers over his chest. This makes him stop, looking at you with his eyes blown wide with emotion. The same tattoos on his forehead were over his chest and arms, symbols you couldn’t make heads or tails of. But the scars…the scars made your heart clinch. You wonder, which ones were from his own doing…or from his uncle.

“They don’t hurt in case you’re wondering,” Higgs’ voice pulls you from your thoughts. “Just another part of me.”

“Veteran told me about…your uncle,” you whisper, only for him to shh at you.

“We can get to the sappy shit later,” he told you. “Don’t wanna feel anything except you right now.”

You nod, figuring now wasn’t the time to talk about things that hurt. There would be plenty of time for that, you hoped. You allow him to lay you back down, keeping his eyes on you as he begins to undo his gun belt. Your eyes kept still at his movements once he placed it down, the sound of his belt unbuckling echoed so loudly before it was undone enough to slide his pants down.

He was…oh sweet Jesus!

Your eyes widen, seeing his cock jump out from its clothed confines. He was so long, with a flush of pink around the head. You must have looked horrified, hearing Higgs chuckle as he grabs himself by the base.

“Now I know for a fact you never fucked a man before,” he teased. “Good thing this is the only dick you’re ever gonna see.”

You watch him stroke his cock slow, wiping the tip with his thumb to capture the pre cum pearling there. His breathing was shaky, laboured, but your eyes were glued on his assault on himself.

“Really liking the show, huh?” His voice was deep despite the tease. Your eyes finally looking up at him. “If I’d known that…wouldn’t have had to beat myself away from you like a punk.”

You could feel the heat from your ears to your cheeks. A notion not lost on him as he lets out a grunt.

“Open wide for me, baby,” he gently instructs as he uses his other hand to spread your legs back in full display again. “That’s it…fuck me, you look so good.”

You could hear the bed creak as he knelt on the bed, taking his sweet time making sure he got to touch every inch of your body. He lets out a pleased noise, holding his cock by the base as he starts teasing you with it. Rubbing it against your folds before tapping it against your clit. You whimper, biting your bottom lip as he smirks down at you.

“Like that?” He asks, not finding your voice, you nod in reply. Suddenly, you feel him press the head against you and pop into your entrance. You let out a whimper, feeling a very full sensation creeping deeper into you. Then a sharp pain, causing you to muffle a cry.

“Shh shh, settle now,” he coaches. “Just gotta get used to it.”

Another sharp pain, and your hands grip him right at his shoulders. You wanted more…yet wanted him to pull away. You could smell the sweat off of him, hear his whispered words of encouragement.

“I know, baby…mmph, god damn you feel so good.”

“H-Higgs…”

“It’s okay…I’m not going nowhere…couldn’t pull me off if you tried.”

The pain finally washes away after a few small thrusts from him before fully bottoming out. You finally open your eyes, looking up at him as he gives you a smile.

“Feeling good now?” He asks, and you let out a small sigh as the answer. “Told you so.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, your hands moving from his shoulders to the sides of his neck.

“P-Please move?” You finally speak, and you watch as his eyes roll back.

“Oh, I’m gonna move alright,” he warns before bucking his hips against you, causing you to cry out. Higgs moved with purpose, with one harsh thrust after another. But it didn’t hurt you, quite the opposite. You felt…good, really good. Your breathy moans chimed against his rough grunts. Skin slapping against skin, only adding to the erotic sounds filling the room. If words were spoken, they were brief and matched movement.

“Fuck.”

“Oh God.”

“Ah shit!”

Higgs’ movements picked up, causing you to whine out from the delicious friction. There were even moments you felt him press a very tender spot within you, which made you let out the most wanton noises.

“Don’t stop…please don’t stop…”

“I got you, baby…I fucking got you…ah shit!”

Your dull nails clawed down his back, which only encouraged him to the point he had you practically jerking against the bed crazily.

“Gonna cum…god damn baby you…you’re gonna make me cum.” He grunts out, followed by animalistic sounds.

You could feel the familiar build of your orgasm, your breathing getting harsher, and with pure abandon. You didn’t care if the camp heard you or not; all you knew was that you wanted to reach that peak.

“I…I-“

“That’s it, baby, fuck, please cum. I need…need to feel you cum.”

Then it hits, and you practically scream out as it hits you. Higgs lets out a deep moan, slipping out of you, and begins to jerk his cock roughly over you.

“God fucking dammit!”

He roars out a moan, hot thick ropes of his cum painting across your stomach. The both of you stay like that for a moment, catching each other’s breath from the explosive aftermath. You look at him, watching him pant harshly. His eyes were shut tight, mouth agape, before slowly forming a blissful smirk.

“Never…thought I’d cum that hard…god damn.”

He finally opens his eyes to look at you, giving you a look you were almost certain looked…tender.

With a happy sigh, he slowly moves to his feet. Reaching over to rinse out a rag you had used to wash with. He doesn’t say anything, neither do you, you could feel the water wet your stomach as he washes his seed off of you before plopping it back in the pot.

“Come here,” he whispers. Moving back on the bed to lie back as he pulls you to lie on top of him. The two of you are sticking together from the sweat, matching each other’s breathing. It was quiet after that, you tracing her finger along a tattoo on his left pec while you feel him kissing the top of your head.

“What are these?” You finally ask, and he lets out a breath.

“Hieroglyphics,” he replied gently. “Ancient Egyptians used them for language.”

“What do they say?”

“Spells mostly, for protection.”

You nod, not saying anything else. You could feel Higgs brush your hair along his fingers, a motion that almost lulled you to sleep.

“If he finds you…Would you go back to him?”

He was asking about your grandfather, and god was that a loaded question.

If you were asked that several moons ago, you would have said yes in a heartbeat. Now…especially the now where you are lying naked with a man he wants dead…you weren’t really sure.

“I can’t go back…I’m damaged goods,” you speak up. You then feel Higgs tighten his hold on you.

“You’re not damaged goods. You hear me? Don’t you make me hear you say that again.”

“Veteran said-“

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Higgs muttered before pushing your face to look at him. “You’re not, not to me. You are the purest…most precious thing I ever held in my life. And I’ll kill the next son of a bitch who says otherwise.”

You look at him, hearing the truth in his words. You then lean forward, pressing your lips against his. He is still at first, then melts. Pressing his tongue to your lips before it slips and mashes against yours. You let out a whimper, clinging to him as he moves back up over you.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he pants against your lips. “Now you fucking done it…”

You look at him, confused, but he moves his lips on you. Leaving heated kisses against your jaw and neck.

“Higgs-“

“Never letting go…never giving you up…will fucking burn half of Texas before that old fuck gets close to you…”

Then it finally dawns on you. You had never kissed him before. Him kissing your body sure, but you two never had a kiss on the lips.