I'm a Whale

Meanwhile, Trump’s inauguration was literally the most watched program in American history at 31.1 million viewers

The most watched program in American history at 115.2 million viewers was Super Bowl XLIX on February 1, 2015. And the only non-sporting event that made the top 20 of most watched broadcasts was at number 8 the M*A*S*H finale on February 28, 1983 with 105.9 million viewers. Trump’s inauguration wasn’t even the most viewed inauguration, that goes to President Reagan’s first inauguration with nearly 42 million viewers, the second most watched inauguration goes to President Obama’s first inauguration with 37 million viewers. So Trump’s inauguration was very far from “literally the most watched program in American history” as you put it.

But who needs facts in Trump America?

Had a dream where I was sitting in a dark office and reality felt really altered and strange and there was just a fishtank illuminating the room and then this fuckin fish looked at me and grinned with human teeth and in this super deep voice said “you’ve been here awhile, better wake up before you forget how to” and I fuckin woke up in a cold sweat

Dude I think you went to hell

I’m both

Wholesome

You just know somewhere Shakespeare is pissing himself. And snatching up his ghostly quill.

QUALITY SHAKESPEARE HUMOUR

I mean damn.

They’re absolutely gay, her bff is coffee