rain's blog

day 2: beach day

So, Natsu may have fucked up. 

Years ago, he made a mental checklist titled Signs I’ve Pissed Lucy Off. Unfortunately for him, all lines were checked. 

1. Was she ignoring him? Yes, determindly so. Avoiding eye contact, going out of her way to avoid his presence, even so much as dodging when he went to sling an arm around her shoulder were all marked off. 

2. Was she spending more time at her apartment? Yes, a worrying amount. She claimed it was for the novel she was writing when questioned by Erza, but Natsu knew better. He tried breaking in just to find the windows locked shut; she even went as far as replacing the locks to ones he couldn’t pick. 

3. Was she in a sour mood? Sour didn’t begin to explain it. She had snapped at Gray for accidentally shouldering her in the beginning stages of a brawl she wanted no part in. That wasn’t exactly the sour part, though – that was par for the course, when it came to accidentally involving Lucy in a guild brawl. No, the sour part was Lucy immediately transformed into her Leo Star Dress and pummeled him into the nearest wall. Despite how it checked off bulletpoint number three, 85 made Natsu proud. 

4. Above all else: was she sad? 

Yes. Lucy was incredibly sad. 

Though she was good at hiding it, Natsu could see it in her eyes, in the shape of her shoulders. The way her brows were just a tiny bit too low, her gaze a bit too downcast. The way her shoulders hunched just the smallest bit inwards, as if protecting her heart from a strike she couldn’t predict. She seemed…smaller, almost.

Bulletpoint number four is what changed the title of the checklist from Signs I’ve Pissed Lucy Off to Signs I’ve Really, Really Fucked Up. 

It made Natsu restless. Itchy, even. When Lucy wasn’t happy he found himself twitchy, wanting to fix whatever was wrong with her. The feeling remained burrowed under his skin, growing more potent the longer her upset mood lasted. It was worse when he was the apparent cause of it, and even worser when he didn’t know why. 

Well, he may have an inkling as to why. 

“Did you pack sunscreen, Natsu?” Happy asked, rummaging around in his own pack. 

“Nope.” Natsu replied. His eyes were fixated on the form in front of him. 

Lucy led the charge towards the beach, cheering as the sun shone down on their group. Her pigtails swayed in beat with her enthusiastic stride. It was a hot day for most (not really for him) and Levy had suggested a beach day. She claimed it was because the weather was so nice, and Gajeel needed vitamin D, but Natsu’s pretty sure it was just to get Lucy out of the house. 

Which led him back to bulletpoint number four: Lucy was sad, sad enough that Levy had to devise a fake excuse for dragging her best friend out of her own apartment. Because if simply suggesting going to the beach wasn’t enough to get Lucy out, then something was very, very wrong. 

His stare burned holes between her shoulder blades, in the tight knot forming between them. Lucy, always keen, simply pretended not to notice. 

Yeah. It was definitely his fault. 

They arrived at the beach and Happy flew off to bug Carla about borrowing sunscreen. Natsu walked over to set his pack next to Lucy’s, but to his surprise (not really), she set down her beach towel, purse, then turned and headed straight for the beachside bar, all whilst ignoring his presence entirely. 

Fantastic, he thought. Natsu threw his pack on the sand and stripped his t-shirt off, discarding it as well. 

He didn’t really feel up to a beach day, would have much preferred to stay in and play cards at Lucy’s, but considering she wouldn’t even let him in, he had to settle for her company with all their other guildmates. He mostly had come to make sure his trusty checklist was completely checked off. And as he overheard Lucy order a triple-shot daiquiri, he even considered adding a new bulletpoint: excessive drinking. 

Natsu sighed, turning his attention towards Erza trying to wrangle up a crew for beach volleyball. Most declined out of fear from the woman’s intense competitiveness, but some agreed out of fear as to what she’d do if they said no.

He walked over to join. Maybe, if he just gave Lucy some space, she’d come back around. Considering exactly how he messed up, his hopes were low, but he had to give it a shot. Before he even got a chance to taunt Erza into being on opposite teams, his arm was pulled. 

“Yo, moron,” Gajeel yanked him back, “you’re a complete fucking idiot.” 

Natsu yanked his arm back. “Whaddya’ know, dickhead?” 

“I know you’re a fucking idiot.” 

Way to be redundant, jack-ass, he wanted to spit back, but without Lucy here, he wasn’t sure he’d pronounce the word right. He settled for: “How the hell do ya’ know anything, bolts-for-brains?”

“Levy told me,” because of course she did, Natsu thought, “what you said to bunny-girl.” Gajeel smirked at him. “Gotta hand it to you, genius – you really fucked that one up.” 

Natsu crossed his arms, staring down the Iron Dragon slayer. “What exactly did I fuck up?” 

Oh, he knew exactly what he fucked up – but when an opportunity to gather intel presents itself, he was going to take it. 

“You know it,” Gajeel’s gaze bore into him. “Don’t play dumb.” 

Natsu huffed. “I dunno what you’re talking about.” 

So much for getting any of Levy’s insight, then. 

“You’re being a bitch.” Gajeel snorted. “Bunny girl worked up the courage to ask you out, meaning you had to put in literally zero effort to take things to the next level, yet you said good enough to being friends?” He laughed. “Give me a fuckin’ break, Salamander.” 

Natsu looked towards Levy currently pretending not to stare at the two of them. No doubt Gajeel was going to tell her whatever Natsu revealed. 

“Why do you care?” Natsu growled. He was already internally fighting this war, damn it, he didn’t need to be lectured by the idiot in front of him. 

“Because Levy cares.” Gajeel stated simply. He put a finger in Natsu’s chest, poking hard. “You know what I think? I think you’re scared.”

Natsu clenched his fists. The urge to punch the other man was extremely strong, the instinct running through his veins. He resisted it. “You don’t know anything, dickhead,” he snarled. 

Because Gajeel didn’t know – he didn’t know a damn thing. He didn’t know how Lucy was the singular most important thing in his life. He didn’t know that he’d do anything for her, that he would crawl through Hellfire just to see her. He didn’t know the fear that ran through Natsu’s veins at the prospect of ruining everything they had, everything they’ve built together the past few years.

Their missions. Their trust. Their bond. Their partnership.

Because Natsu was scared. And it was a different fear than the one he was used to, the one that came with the potential of a losing fight. It was much, much worse. 

It ate away at him. It tore through his bones, clawing through his muscle until he was sure he was nothing but a man full of yearning and fear. Because he did want more, he always wanted more, he had accepted he was always going to want more. 

But he was content. 

He was content with their quiet, unyielding trust in one another. He was content in their bickering dynamic, no matter how much Lucy kicked or yelled at him. He was content in simply just existing, side by side with her, soaking in her presence like a plant that grows towards the sun. Natsu had forced himself to be content with it, and had forced himself to ignore the deep, yawning chasm inside of him that demanded more. 

Because what if he messed it up? It wasn’t as simple as running into a fight, headstrong and full of faith that he could win. In fact, he had zero faith in his ability to date or do anything of the sort – he hadn’t the faintest clue what that even meant. It's why he never attempted to go farther, why he had never asked for any more than what Lucy would give him. 

And he knew eventually it would come up, this unspoken feeling between the two. Natsu knew it from the moment he felt it. The moment he looked at Lucy and stopped seeing his partner and instead started seeing more. 

Gajeel shook his head. “You know, I know.” Is all he said before walking away, hands tucked into his pockets. 

And yes, Natsu knew that Gajeel did indeed know, considering Levy was literally pregnant. He knew that Gajeel had gotten over his own fear, had actually done something when the chance had presented itself in font of him. 

And Natsu hadn’t. 

Sometimes, when he looked at the two of them, Gajeel and Levy, peacefully going through life together, envy struck him so deep in his chest that it almost felt like rage. Rage at himself for being so afraid. 

But still. Good enough. 

Natsu’s eyes flicked back towards Lucy, sitting on her beach towel, calmly reading a book. Her sunglasses were halfway slipped down her nose due to the sunscreen she applied. 

“You have to wear sunscreen, Natsu,” she had scolded him once, “unless you want to age terribly.” 

His heart gave a pang. He ached to reach out and just merely push her sunglasses up. He ached to just have her look at him again, for God’s sake. 

Natsu began walking over towards her, ready to face the consequences of his stupid, idiotic actions. When he was about ten paces away, though, he was cut off by a man. A man making a bee-line towards Lucy. 

He could only stop and stare as Lucy smiled up at him, pushing her sunglasses up into her hair. Not caring about the sunscreen now stuck in the strands, not caring about how her page in her book was now lost to the gentle breeze that brushed by. No, she didn’t care as she continued beaming up at the man, continuing the conversation. Natsu could only stand, and watch. 

He felt that yawning, deep chasm of yearning turn into something wretched; something that wanted to run over there and beat the man senseless, something dangerous. But he looked at Lucy, giggling, and forced himself to stay still. 

It’s your fault, a small voice inside him whispered. 

I know. I know, I know. 

He was content to sit there, wallowing in his own misery, sulking in the regret of how he really fucked up and that she may be gone forever, now, until her gaze flicked to Natsu. 

For the first time in days, she made direct eye contact. There was a silent plea in it. 

Help me.

Natsu’s mind flashed to the first bulletpoint on his checklist.  

1. Was she ignoring him? 

No, he realized with an enormous feeling of relief. Not anymore. 

He broke into a grin. 

Without thinking twice, he sprinted the last ten paces towards her. Natsu picked her up in his arms, ignoring the cries of the dumb man who thought he even had a chance with her, and ran towards the sea. 

“Natsu, no!” She shrieked. “This is not what I meant!” 

Natsu ignored her pleas. He ran them both into the ocean, the warf quickly coming up to splash them. 

“No!” Is all she could cry out before he flopped them both backwards. The water rushed around his ears and flowed into his open, laughing mouth. He kept a tight grip on her waist, enjoying the feel of her pressed against him, before bringing them both to the surface only after completely submerging them. 

“Sorry, Luce,” he paused to spit out a mouthful of saltwater, “looks like ya’ needed a good rescue there.” 

She slid out of his grip, swatting his arm. “I didn’t mean take me swimming, idiot.”

He grinned down at her, unable to help himself. Lucy was finally looking at him, her arms crossed as the waves tangled her bikini strings. Exasperation flashed in her eyes. 

Natsu reached out and adjusted her sunglasses. His heart lept as she didn’t dodge his touch. “Swimmin’s good for you.” 

She rolled her eyes, the corners of her lips quirking up. “Whatever.” She turned and began to wade through the rolling tide, before she turned, casting him a quick, appreciative smile. “Thank you.” 

In that moment, six clear words ran through his head. With the rays of sun reflecting off the water, lighting her brown eyes and with the water dripping from her now soggy ponytails, the words rose up in his chest: Any time, I’m sorry, I love you. 

But instead all he could say was: “No problem. Wanna play volleyball?” 

She wrinkled her nose. “No, thanks. You guys try way too hard.” 

With that, she turned and left Natsu standing alone in the water, the taste of salt heavy on his tongue. 

Next time, he promised himself. He’d say the words next time. 

day 1: magazine spread / new beginnings 

She was miserable. 

To say Lucy was merely moping around would be an understatement. She hadn’t left her apartment all day, refusing to take her blanket off from where it sat around her shoulders, and had locked every single window she could. At one point, she contemplated glueing them shut. 

She picked up another piece of candy, graciously gifted from Levy, and ate it in one bite. The sour flavor coated her tongue. It was a welcome distraction from the hollow void in her chest. 

Lucy itched her puffy, sore eyes and tried to refocus her attention on the Sorcerer Weekly article she was currently reading: He Doesn’t Like You? Five Tips on How to Move On. 

It was stupid, she knew it was, she had worked for Sorcerer Weekly, after all, and knew what was quality content and what was the magazine’s form of shitty life tips that wouldn’t actually help her, but she couldn’t resist. Her heart ached, searching for any small amount of comfort it could find, no matter what form it was in. 

Tip 1: Block All Forms of Contact

He doesn’t like you? Block access to yourself. Whether that be changing your routine, such as your work schedule, or changing the café you frequent, don’t give him any form of access to you.

Lucy huffed a humourless laugh, glancing at her locked windows.  It was the closest thing she could do, at the moment. The article continued:

Don’t answer the Lacrima if he rings. In order to move on, you must force your brain to forget him. Preventing forced encounters, chance run-ins, and having the strength to put down the Lacrima will teach your brain you’re okay alone, and can move on. 

She furrowed her eyebrows. She couldn’t really do any of that, really, even if she tried – they were both still Fairy Tail members, after all, and despite her current misery, she wasn’t going to give that up. They were no doubt going to see one another. They were partners, and on the same team, for Heaven’s sake. That simple reminder made her moan, putting her head in her hands. 

God, she had really messed up. 

Tip 2: Focus on your Hobbies 

In order to fully forget about a man, you have to force your brain onto something new. Focusing on hobbies will not only fill your time, but also helps you focus on yourself. Find a new one, if you can. Take up journaling. Take up sewing. Take up anything that forces your attention, Reconnecting with your inner self is pivotal towards healing from rejection. 

Lucy glanced at the wrappers of candies. Does melancholic binge-eating count? She wondered. Sighing, she made a promise to try and write a new chapter of her novel tonight. For now, she turned the page of the magazine. 

Tip 3: Stop Ideallizing Him 

He’s not that great. He’s a man, after all. Realize you’re the true prize. You deserve someone who returns your feelings, and goes as far to validate how you’re feeling, too. Don’t idealize what never happened – start idealizing you, and how great you are. 

Lucy smiled a little at the end of the passage – she was great. She’s a kick-ass mage, had saved the world and her friends many times, and was deeply passionate about the things and people that mattered to her. She was dedicated to her craft of writing, and had even made a career out of it, for a little while. She was hot, for God’s sake. She was awesome. 

But as her eyes flicked to the first part of the passage, her heart dropped. Because Natsu was great, too. She never had idealized him or his good heart – he simply was that. Good.

In every sense of the word, Natsu was good. Amazing, even. She felt a lump form in her throat – the article may be true for every other crummy man in Earthland, but she knew Natsu was different. He was her best friend, after all. She knew his words, his promises, his actions – he meant every single one of them. Whatever he said or did, he meant fully and truly. It wasn’t just a part of himself, an admirable trait; it was his entire being. 

Lucy felt tears drip down her cheeks, watching them fall onto her copy of Sorcerer Weekly. It wasn’t worth trying to even tell herself that he wasn’t amazing; she would not only be lying, but it would discredit how much impact he’d had on her life. How without him, Lucy would be alone. How without him, she’s certain she’d still be searching for a home. 

Choking back the lump in her throat, she continued on reading. 

Tip 4: Do Not Remain Friends

She didn’t even bother reading the rest. Lucy threw the magazine away from her on the bed, and sobbed. Because despite her pain, and anger, and embarrassment, she’d never not want to be Natsu’s best friend – his teammate, his partner. For the past few years of her life, they’d revolved around one another, similar to the gravitational pull of two planets orbiting. It felt inevitable they’d be inseparable, like it was in the stars, like it was fate they’d always be together. 

He promised, after all. 

And Lucy ruined it. 

She curled around herself. She didn’t care about how she’d lost count of how many times she cried, and didn’t care about how she was most definitely disturbing her neighbors. She only cared about how much it hurt. 

She only cared about her heart shattering as he let her down, rather gently. 

“What do you mean, go on a date? Why’d we do that, weirdo?” 

“Because,” she stuttered, “I want to.” 

He tilted his head, confusion clear in his eyes. “What are we doing now?” 

She wanted to scream. She settled for, “We’re friends. Going out to eat as friends.” 

He ruffled her hair, grinning. “Good enough for me.” 

It was so confusing, so damn infuriating how quickly he had brushed her off, how quickly he was able to move on, talking about stupid nonsense regarding Erza and Gray and stupid, stupid things like how he’s pretty sure he could beat Laxus now. Lucy had sat in shock for a good amount of time before she had left dinner early, convinced she was going to cry if she had stayed a moment longer. 

Because what did that even mean? Good enough for me? 

When had anything truly just been good enough for Natsu? He was always striving to be better, to be more strong, to be more. Lucy didn’t think she’d ever heard the phrase good enough come from him before – if something, especially himself, didn’t measure up to what his personal standards were, it wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t good, period. 

So if what they had was good enough, what was the point of anything more? 

Was what they had truly good enough for either of them, if it wasn’t going to be more? They spent every day together, damn it, and Lucy had been so sure, so positive, that he had felt something more for her beyond friendship. 

And to just settle for good enough? 

She just…couldn’t. She couldn’t act like everything was normal, couldn’t act like she hadn’t taken a chance, thanks to Levy’s insistence. She couldn’t go back to just being Natsu and Lucy, the indivisible pair, not with her heart sitting in her chest, broken into bits. She couldn’t act like everything regarding what she had thought she knew about their relationship hadn’t morphed, changing into something unrecognizable. 

Lucy still knew Natsu, of course. She knew his heart, and his motivations, and his bickering and his laughter. She was just lost in the haze of their relationship – in the confusing what-if’s and bewildering actions and words that led her to believe there was more. That if she was bold enough, and strong enough, and came outright and just said it to him, he’d say obviously, I like you too, weirdo. 

Not good enough. 

Despite her numerous late-nights spent wondering about this exact scenario and how it would play out, she never would have expected that response. 

And somehow, that hurt more. Like maybe she never even knew him as well as she thought. 

Like maybe they simply were just that: friends. 

Lucy clutched the blankets between her fingers, her chest caving in on itself. 

She couldn’t be that stupid, right? 

But her heart and eyes ached, a testimony of the truth.

Maybe she was. Maybe she was just a foolish, young girl desperately in love with someone who didn’t love her back. Not in the way she desired, anyway. 

It made her heart crack and crumble and really, she was convinced it couldn’t hurt anymore, yet it continued wrenching in her chest, forcing her breath. She hacked out an ugly, gutteral sob. 

In hindsight, it was pathetic, really. Natsu loved all of his friends, had risked his life numerous times to save them, and had gone above and beyond to ensure their safety – why would Lucy be any different? She felt so foolish, so dumb, that she almost laughed. He had left her behind, after all. He was okay being apart for a year, while Lucy had spent every waking moment piecing together every kernel of information she had about his whereabouts. 

Wiping her eyes, finally out of tears, Lucy forced herself to reach for the magazine. She had to know; she had never been one to not finish an article or book, no matter how much it frustrated her. 

Tip 5: Date Around 

Sometimes, if no matter what, you cannot forget the man who rejected you, it can be helpful to remind yourself and your brain that there’s more options out there. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, after all. It never hurts to explore, to show yourself you are deserving of love and reciprocation. 

She threw the magazine again. Farther, this time, into the dark corner of her room. 

Date around. Yeah, right. 

She’d be lucky if she even found another person half as much as the one Natsu was – in their year apart, she’d met many men, and none had made her heart race the way Natsu had, nor had shown her love so carelessly she found herself breathless at the thought of it. If another Natsu existed, she wasn’t sure she’d want to meet him, anyways – she couldn’t stomach the thought of her heart breaking twice. 

It doesn’t have to be another Natsu, a small voice in Lucy’s head whispered. It can be more. It can be beyond good enough. 

She shoved the thought out of her mind. She couldn’t date right, not with her heart freshly torn and raw. She wasn’t sure she could date ever, now knowing the consequences of unrequited love. 

 If what they had was good enough, maybe Lucy could adapt to the feeling. Maybe she could shove her selfish desires far down enough to forget about them. Because possibly that is what she was being, wanting more: selfish. She could feel a hungry agony in her being, throbbing, saying more, more, more. 

But maybe she could adapt to the void in her chest, the empty feeling where her heart rested. Maybe Lucy could learn to settle, the way she had to as a child. 

Even as she thought it, she knew it wasn’t true. She hadn’t settled as a child, either — as soon as she could, she ran away. She didn’t want to run away, this time, but she knew she couldn’t stay in this limbo forever. She couldn’t stay stuck between more than friends and less than lovers, not forever. 

No, maybe one day she’d move on. Maybe one day the ache in her chest won’t hurt as bad, and maybe she’d be able to look at Natsu and see just what he sees her as: a friend. 

Natsu lay dazed on the ground, his head going through different hues of vertigo. He felt like he was going to throw up, as if he were on a train, except he wasn’t. It was much, much worse than that. He never thought he’d say it, but he’d much rather be on a train right about now. 

There was a flash of light, and he could feel Lucy was suddenly standing a few feet in front of him, her Cancer Star Dress equipped. She swung her blades, harder and harder, against the magic projectiles raining down around Natsu, blocking them from hitting him. 

“Natsu,” Happy cried, “you have to get up.” The cat’s paws grabbed at his shoulder, desperation rising in his voice. “Please, get up.” 

And Natsu would, he really would, if the feeling in his head would just stop. He shut his eyes against it, feeling blood trickle down them. He planted both hands on the ground, but as he went to sit up, his arms gave out; he didn’t get a good look, but he was pretty sure his left wrist was turned the wrong way. He got up on his knees and crawled towards Lucy, despite how broken he felt. 

“Natsu,” Lucy’s voice was harsh, low with warning, “I need you to get up, now.” He could hear more than see her equip into her Aquarius Star Dress, using water to shield them from the onslaught of attacks. 

“‘M trying, Luce,” he coughed out. Blood splattered beneath him as he inched towards Lucy. Happy’s paws shook him, desperately trying to get him to stop.

“Natsu,” Happy was pleading, “please, Wendy will be here soon. Just hang on.”

 Natsu could hear the tears falling down his buddy’s face, could practically taste the salt of his own from the pain he was in, and he was going to tell Happy not to worry, Natsu would be fine like he always was, except all that came out was a sickly gurgle from his mouth. Blood drooled from his mouth like spit. Still, he crawled towards Lucy. 

He wasn’t even sure what happened, really – one moment he’d been fighting the dark mages, but one had aimed a magic gun at Lucy, and on instinct, he dove in front of the stream of bullets. It’d all kind of gone downhill from there. 

He thinks one hit him in the stomach, from the feel of it, and he thinks one might have grazed his head, from the flow of blood trickling down his forehead, and he thinks he landed on his wrist wrong, from the look of it. He groaned, holding back a howl, the pain nearly overwhelming. Still, he crawled toward her. 

Lucy was fighting as valiantly as ever against the three mages attacking them. Natsu heard her throw a slice of water at one, knocking him out, and felt her send a wave crashing at another. Pride rang in his chest from their shouts as they fell. He tried standing again, only to find what felt like gaping hole in his stomach was preventing him from doing so. 

Lucy gave a yelp, and he managed to lift his head up just enough to see a knife graze her shoulder. She quickly equipped into her Leo Star Dress and shot off balls of light towards the remaining attacker, reducing him to a heap on the ground. She turned around, fear in her eyes as she took in Natsu’s pathetic form. 

“Hi, Luce,” he mumbled, and it wasn’t fair, how pretty she got to look while he crawled there like a dog waiting to be put out of its misery. He distantly heard Gray and Erza get on the scene, and felt the ground shake from their respective attacks. 

“Hi, Natsu,” her voice shook as she knelt by him. He weakly shuffled forward to put his head in her lap. If he were to die, this would be the place he wants, he thinks. 

“Ya’re fightin’ hard,” is all he could choke out. There’s many more things he’d like to say on his potential deathbed, but he couldn’t stop wheezing out blood, and if there’s one thing he wants Lucy to be sure of, it’s that she can kick ass. She took in his form, swallowing. 

“You’re gonna be okay, okay?” She said, but it sounded like it was more to convince herself than him. Natsu had been close to death plenty of times and was intimately familiar with the feeling overtaking his limbs. He just hadn’t expected this mission to be that dangerous. 

He didn’t say anything, instead opting to wrap his arms around her waist. He laid there, pain taking over every sense except for the ones that mattered: the feel of her in his arms, and the scent of her in his nose. 

He felt her place a shaky hand in his hair. “Natsu,” she begged, “can you sit up for me?” 

Natsu tried saying no, he didn’t really want to, he was quite content right here, in her lap, but didn’t have the energy to speak. He merely exhaled into her thighs, wobbly and uneven.  

“Lushy,” he heard Happy whisper, “I’m scared.” 

“Don’t be scared, Happy,” Lucy said back, choking back what Natsu thought was tears, and he hoped it wasn’t tears, as there was nothing to cry about – Lucy was safe, Happy was safe, and he was in Lucy’s lap. All things considered, as long as Erza and Gray wrapped everything up, it’d be a successful mission. A white-hot pain shot from his stomach to his chest, nearly suffocating him.

Natsu couldn’t help them, though. He knew when he was out of commission. 

“Hey,” Lucy said, shuffling out of his grasp, and Natsu distantly realized the fighting was over. He pawed for Lucy’s waist, wanting to curl up there again, but she grabbed his hand instead. “Wendy’s almost here, okay? She’ll be here, and you’ll be okay, and we can go home. Okay?” Lucy’s voice, although trying to be strong, came out wobbly. 

He tried raising up on his arms again, but grunted once he realized he couldn’t even rise. He got up on his elbows, instead, and inched towards Lucy again. 

“Please,” is all that came out of his mouth, close to a plea, and Lucy covered her mouth, choking back a sob. She caught him under the shoulders and pulled him into her chest. 

So strong, he thought, you’re so strong. He wished he could tell her, but he couldn’t, so he opted for nuzzling into her neck. He felt sorry for all the blood he was leaving behind. 

“You’re not gonna die,” Lucy told him sternly in his ear, and really, it was quite like Lucy to be scolding him as he was actively dying. He would have teased her if he physically could. “I won’t let you.” 

Natsu wheezed in response. 

“Natsu..” Happy’s voice warbled from beside him, the cat currently clawing at his arm. “Please get up. Please, please get up. Gray’s looking cooler than you right now, you know that?” Happy’s voice tried goading him on, but there was no bite in it. 

Natsu huffed, trying to laugh – considering he was the one dying, there was no way for him to look cooler; no one exactly looks cool while facing death – but all that came out was a cough, full of blood. 

“You idiot,” she cried, “you should never have jumped in front of me. What were you thinking?” Her voice broke off at the end in a chest-rattling sob. 

He pressed his lips to her neck, wanting at least to do it once. She tasted of sweat and salt, most likely from the tears rushing down her cheeks. She tasted amazing. She tasted like Lucy.  

“You,” he choked out, mustering up all of his strength. “Thinkin’ of you.” 

Lucy’s shoulders shook, slightly displacing him from her hold, but he didn’t care. He was nearly at the end, anyways. As long as he was in her arms, he’d be okay. Natsu would wait for her on the other side as long as it took. He hoped it’d be a long time. 

“Natsu!” Wendy called out, “I’m here!” 

He’s not sure it mattered at that point. He pushed closer into Lucy’s arms. 

“Oh Gods,” he heard Wendy breath out. All Lucy could say in response was a weeping sob. 

Natsu felt Wendy’s magic desperately trying to heal his broken, bleeding body, but more importantly, he felt Lucy’s hands cradle his head as she gently set him on his back. He considered arguing against the move, but he found his consciousness fading fast, so all he could do was weakly reach a hand up behind his head, and rest it on her knee. He felt her fingers clasp his, a warm feeling breaking through the pain to settle in his chest, before his view started to get black around the edges. 

“You’re gonna be fine, okay?” Lucy choked out. “Wendy’s here, so you can’t fall asleep yet.” 

“Wanna’ sleep,” he said, weakly bringing the hand holding his to his mouth. He softly placed a kiss there, except when he pulled away he found Lucy’s hand stained red. 

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” He heard Lucy mutter, her hand shaking. He was gonna tell her that was very rude to say to someone dying, but his eyelids fluttered close and he felt the world go dark. There was an I love you frozen in his throat, unable to break past the sudden eerie blackness that overtook him. 

Natsu awoke to a dark inn room, the sticky feeling of bandages wrapped around his forehead, chest, and wrist. 

Happy lay curled by his head, his fur ruffled from dried tears. Natsu nudged him with his shoulder, but the cat only nuzzled deeper into the pillow. 

Natsu heard gentle breathing, and looked down to find Lucy curled up in a chair at the foot of his bed, her head resting on her arms. She was sleeping, and he could smell the salty dried tears on her, too. 

Instinctively, he slowly sat up, every muscle groaning from the movement – pain laced through his limbs, but still, he got up and leaned towards her. 

“Lucy,” he whispered, his throat dry, “Lucy.” 

She didn’t move. Her breathing remained flat and even. 

Well, fine, then. He shuffled down the bed and grabbed her shoulder. 

She popped up, suddenly – she blinked the sleep out of her eyes, as she stared at him with hope in her eyes. “Natsu?” She said sleepily. 

“C’mere,” he said, “‘M tired.” He continued pulling at her shoulder. She let herself be pulled from the chair, and up onto the bed. 

He led her to the pillow where Happy still rested, and he flopped back down on it. She remained sitting, so he grabbed her arm and gently pulled her down next to him. 

“Are you sure? You’re hurt–” she fretted. Natsu only pulled her into his arms in response. She nuzzled into his shoulder, fresh tears dripping down his collarbone. 

“You almost died,” she breathed, “you almost died, and it was my fault–” 

He cut her off by pulling away and placing a finger on her lips, quietly shushing her. He then leaned back in and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Natsu almost died, yes, but he didn’t, he was alive and the pain from Lucy in his arms was a good reminder of that. He was alive, and he wanted nothing more than to hold her as he slept the soreness off. 

“I don’t want you ever doing that again,” she murmured, wiping at her eyes. He heard her sniffle.

“You know I’d do it again.” He said, pulling her in. He closed his eyes, sleep calling to him. 

“I know, and it scares me,” Lucy whispered. 

He had already begun drifting off, but not before the words “I love you,” slipped from his lips. 

Lucy sniffled, burying deeper into his chest. “I love you, too.” 

It’s only when someone asks Natsu the question does it the absurdity of it register. It had been a casual day at the guild, the girls having gone out shopping, when the topic came up. 

“When are you and Lucy going to start dating, you dunce?” Gray snorts. 

“What do you mean?” Natsu replied, dumbfounded. “We are.” 

There’s silence amongst the group of guild men as Natsu’s words hang in the air. 

“No,” Gray says. “No,”he repeats, “you’re not.” 

“Yes,” Natsu replies, slamming his hands on the table, “yes, we are.” 

Before a brawl between the two could break out, they’re interrupted. “Natsu,” Gildarts inquired, with the patience of a saint, “Have you ever truly asked her out?” 

Natsu stared at him, confused. They had already had this conversation! 

“Yes, I did,” Natsu says, bewilderment lacing his every word as he faced Gildarts, “I told ya’, I claimed her as mine.” 

Gildarts sighs. “As I said before, Natsu, ‘claiming’ her in your dragon’s way doesn’t equate to the human way.” The older man put his head in his hands, suddenly exhausted. 

“Wait,” Gray snorted with a chuckle, “what is the dragon’s way?” 

“You know –” Natsu began.

“I do not,” Gray interjected. 

“Buying her trinkets and stuff. Scent-marking her place, all the usual.” 

Gajeel, who had been silent up until this point, leaned his head back, running his hands through his hair. “You’re such a fucking idiot.” 

“Hey!” Natsu snapped, “you did the same thing with Levy!” 

“Yeah, moron, along with the human traditions they do,” Gajeel snapped back. “You can’t just do it the dragon way and expect her to understand.” 

Natsu was growing increasingly more irritated. Of course Lucy understood; how could she not? He made it quite obvious, after all. 

Gray busted out laughing. “You scent-marked her?” 

“Yes, and we’re dating!”

“That doesn’t mean you’re dating, moron. Does she know you’re dating?” Gray said with another laugh.  

“You know what? I’m just gonna go ask her.” Natsu declared. He stood up, huffing, and marched towards the door. He was sick of these idiots and their opinions on his relationship. 

“He’s going to blow it,” Gajeel muttered. 

“Oh, no doubt about it.” Gray agreed. 

Natsu merely flipped them off behind his shoulder in response. 

So, now he stood in front of Lucy’s apartment, suddenly nervous. 

Because they were dating, right? The walk over from the guild had replaced his confidence with doubt, leaving an uneasy feeling creeping through his bones. 

Whatever, he thought. Best to just get it over with. 

So Natsu scaled the side of the apartment building, hopping in through her windowsill. The smell of Lucy hit him all at once. He breathed in, letting her scent soothe his nerves. 

“Lucy?” He called out. He honestly forgot the girls had gone shopping, and hoped she was already back. 

“Hm?” Came her voice from the other room. He padded across the living room and found her in the kitchen. He went to stand behind her, intent on playing with her hair, but as his fingers started caressing the strands, he noticed she was reading something. 

A note. 

“What’ddya got there?” He asked. 

“Oh, it’s nothing,” she replied, hastily tucking the note away into a drawer. “How was the guild?” 

“Boring. Everyone just called me dumb,” he complained. Lucy giggled, turning to face him. Her hair fell from his hands. 

“Really? And why was that?” 

And he was going to tell her why, he really was, but he suddenly felt incredibly nervous, having her look at him like that, and seriously, they were dating, right? 

“What’s the note say?” Natsu asked, hands reaching to grab it. Lucy moved, as if to stop him, but he snagged it from the drawer before she could.

It read: 

You have remarkable taste in books – coffee next week to discuss more? 

Saturday, 4:00pm at Magnolia’s Muffins.

See you there!

Alex

“It’s nothing, really,” Lucy repeated, trying to snatch the note out of Natsu’s hands. “Just some guy asking me to discuss literature.” Natsu held the note up to the light, not believing what his eyes were seeing. 

“Is he asking you out on a date?” Natsu said increduously. 

“Well,” Lucy mumbled, suddenly shy and playing with her hair, “I think so?” Her cheeks were flushed, and she seemed a little too eager at the prospect of a date. 

Natsu left his arm fall to the side. 

Holy shit. They weren’t dating. 

He had the sensation of his world being turned upside-down. As if blue was red, and white was black. Nothing made sense anymore –  his whole perception of the world was turning a sickly shade of vertigo. 

“Are you gonna’ go?” Is all he could force out of his mouth. 

Lucy sighed. “I don’t know,” she began, “I haven’t made up my mind. I don’t really care about him, but… a date sounds nice, I guess.” She shrugged. She looked up at him, an unspoken question behind her eyes, but Natsu’s whole world was thrown off-kilter and he couldn’t bother trying to decipher it. 

She might go. She might actually go. 

Which only gave Natsu roughly a week to figure this whole “human traditions of dating” thing out. He felt his heart sink to his knees. 

“I need to go,” he said, hastily shoving the paper back in her hands. “I need to find Happy.” 

Lucy’s brows furrowed, staring up at him. “What? What’s going on?” 

He didn’t respond, instant opting to stride across the room and towards the window. “See you later!” He called out. 

“Natsu, wait!” He heard Lucy yell, but he had already jumped out of the window.

“So,” Happy said, “you actually thought you and Lucy were..” A giggle. “Were dating?” 

Happy’s been laughing at him the past five minutes. Natsu felt his vein throb on his forehead, irritation prickling his blood. 

“Yes,” he snapped. “We’ve been over this.” 

Happy gave a cackle. “I know, but even I’m not that delusional with Charle.” 

Natsu thought about picking up his best friend and throttling him. 

“You’re not helping,” he groaned. He flopped over in his hammock, burying his face into a pillow. The Exceed was helpless. 

Natsu felt Happy jump onto the hammock beside him. “It’s okay, Natsu,” he said, “you have one week to try and win over Lucy!” 

“I thought I already did!” He whined into his pillow. He might have been pouting – sue him. 

“Well,” Happy snorted, “nobody thinks so except you. So now you have to try harder!” 

“What do I even do?” He lamented. Because, really, what else is there to do after spending 24/7 together, saving each other’s lives countless times, saving the world countless times, and being literal partners? If that doesn’t win Lucy over, Natsu’s not sure he ever stood a chance. Maybe he should be like Alex and read books that Lucy likes.

Immediately, his nose wrinkles. No, he’s not going to do that. He barely understood what the word remarkable on the note even meant. 

“It’s simple,” Happy said lightly, “just ask her out on a date.” 

Simple my ass, Natsu thought. He’d rather fight Zeref again than embarrass himself asking Lucy on a date, considering he didn’t even know what a date really constituted. 

“What would we even do?” He turned to face Happy, hopelessness growing in his eyes. 

Happy stared at him like he was an idiot. “What you always do, Natsu,” he said, “just spend time together. And maybe tell her it’s an actual date.” 

Natsu threw his hands in the air. “What’s the difference between tellin’ her it’s a date versus not tellin’ her if we do the same thing anyways?!” 

“It’s the principle of the matter, Natsu! Lucy thinks you just do those things as a friend!” 

“Oh, please, like I would hold her the way I do if we were just friends. We literally snuggle.” 

Happy stomped his foot hard on Natsu’s stomach. He groaned. “You need to clarify it.” 

“Fine, fine.” Natsu grunted. He sat up, much to Happy’s dismayed “Hey!” as the cat was suddenly displaced.

Okay, maybe, fine, it wouldn’t be that difficult. Maybe he was being a giant wimp about it. But Natsu couldn’t help the sudden rush of anxiety that flowed through him at the thought of formally asking Lucy out. He told himself because it’s a dumb concept, but if he dug deeper, he knew there was more to it. 

He was scared. Genuinely terrified. Because if he officially asked out Lucy, and she officially say no, what would he do then? What would happen with their friendship? Or worse, what if she no longer wanted to be his partner? 

Gods, this would be so much easier if they truly were dating, like he thought. 

“Hello?” Happy snapped his fingers in his face, snapping out of his train of thought. “I asked, what are you gonna do?” 

“Hell if I know,” Natsu muttered, “I’m going to the pros.” 

Which is how he ended up sitting across from Levy at the guildhall. 

He really didn’t know who else to go to; his pride refused to let him ask any of the guys their opinions, so he’d had to settle for Lucy’s other best friend. 

“So..” he finished filling Levy in, “that’s it.” 

“Right,” Levy replied, holding back a giggle, “that’s all?” 

He’d been laughed at so much the past 48 hours it barely phased him. “That’s all.” 

“Oh, Natsu,” Levy said, a warmth brewing in her eyes as she smiled, “you really want to ask her out, don’t you?” 

He nodded. 

She reached over, placing a hand over his. “I’m glad you came to me! I know Gajeel can act like a know-it-all, but truthfully, he didn’t really have a clue about any of this, either.” 

Natsu snorted. Yeah, he kind of assumed metal-for-brains inevitably fucked it up somewhere along the way (you don’t get that cocky unless you’ve earned it), but he still achieved winning Levy’s heart, so he must have done something right. 

“To be fair, I have an idea” Natsu said, throwing his hands up to present his grand plan. “Get this: I buy her a book.” 

Levy blinked, seemingly waiting for him to say more. 

“You…buy her a book?” 

“Mhmm,” he confirmed.

“Right,” Levy said, drawing the word out. She clucked her tongue, tilting her head. “Then what?” 

“Then…” And as he fumbled for the next part of his sentence, he realized he had no idea what to do next.

Levy smiled at him, amusement in her eyes. “How about this, Natsu; you buy her a book that she’s been wanting for a while?” 

He snapped his fingers. “Yes!”

“Then you give it to her, yes?”

“Yes.” He sagely nodded. 

“Then ask her on a date!”

She lost him. 

He shook his head. “That seems too easy.” 

“It is that easy.” 

“Is it?” 

“It really is.” She said. “I promise you, it really is.” 

He stared at the wood-grain of the table. If Levy promised it was that easy, maybe it was. 

“Okay,” he looked back at her, “what book do I get?” 

She scribbled down a name, tore it from her notebook, and passed it to him. 

As he stood up to leave, Levy grabbed his arm. “If it helps at all, Natsu, you have nothing to worry about. Lu-chan will appreciate whatever you do for her.”

And he knows that’s true, but the queasy nerves in his gut kept insisting otherwise.

“Thanks, Levy.” And with that, he was out the door. 

So, Natsu bought the stupid book. Well, it actually didn’t seem stupid, it seemed kind of cool, honestly, with dragons and swordsman, but he felt stupid holding it, standing in front of Lucy’s apartment. 

Here goes nothing, he thought.

He stumbled through the windowsill for a rather ungraceful landing. He fell with a thump on the floor, the book clattering from his hands. Natsu hurriedly stood before Lucy saw him looking so un-cool. Unfortunately, he heard her laughter from the doorway. 

Seriously? He huffed. He’s used to being laughed at every now and then, but it was becoming a bit excessive. 

“You okay there, dork?” She walked over, ruffling his hair. Her braids swayed with her, looking far more graceful than Natsu had. 

Whatever. She was always more graceful than him. 

She picked up the book, turning it over with a shine in her eyes. “What’s this?” 

And Natsu had a plan for this moment, he really did (he spent at least two hours rehearsing in the woods), but the words left him the moment he saw her eyes light up. She was so beautiful, and so deserving of a long and lengthy proclamation of his feelings, but all he could say was:

“Do you want to go on a date?” 

She stared at him. Blinked once, then twice. 

“What?” Her cheeks flushed. 

“Do you,” Natsu said, pointing at her, “want to go on a date,” he pointed at himself, “with me?” 

She blinked again, looking very confused. 

He groaned, dragging his hands through his hair. He knew he’d fuck it up. 

“No, no, wait!” She hastily waved her hands around, “I do, yes!” She set the book down then reached forward, grabbing his hands out of his hair. They were cool and soft against his own. “I’m just a little confused.” 

He focused on the feeling of her hands holding his. It lulled his panic, just a little bit.

“So,” he began, “I kinda thought we were already dating.” At this, her eyes bulged.

“What?!” She blurted out. If her cheeks were rosy before, they were fully red now. 

“But then Gray and Gildarts told me we weren’t, that the dragon way of courting is different from humans, and then I started panicking because you were gonna go on a date with that one Alex guy,” and oh Gods, he’s rambling now, having gone way off track, but he couldn’t stop, “so I asked Levy for help, and I decided to buy you a book you wanted and maybe have you tell me about it over dinner.” He took a big breath, having run completely out of air during his speech. 

“And it’s okay if ya’ say no, I’ll understand,” he said, and no, he wouldn’t understand because he couldn’t imagine anyone by his side other than Lucy, but he’d respect her choice, no matter how much it hurt, “it’s just, I had to try, because, well. I thought we were already dating.” 

Lucy’s hands had gone slack in his. He tried not to dwell on it. 

“Natsu,” she said slowly, “you thought we were dating?” 

For the fourth time regarding this topic, he said: “Yes.” 

“We haven’t even kissed.”

“But we snuggle!” 

Lucy’s ears were positively red. “Okay, yes, we snuggle, but there’s more to dating than snuggling! What do you even mean, the ‘dragon way of courting’?” 

“I scent-marked you and I buy you trinkets,” Natsu sheepishly mumbled, “and I told you we’d be together forever.” 

At that, Lucy snorted. “How was I supposed to know that was you courting me?” 

“I was kind of hoping you’d just, I don’t know, assume.” He covered his face with his hands. This was going worse than he’d hoped, but just about as wonderful as he expected. 

Lucy gentle removed his hands from his face. She leaned up, and Natsu was about to ask what she was doing, before her lips landed on his, soft and plump and everything he didn’t know he could even dream of. 

“Yes, I’ll go on a date with you, idiot.” She affectionally said, smiling up at him. “I didn’t think you’d ever ask.” 

Natsu stood there in shock before his brain caught up to his thoughts. Wow, that’s what I’ve been missing out on this entire time? 

“In my defense, I wasn’t aware I had to ask,” he muttered, before pulling her lips to his. She tasted sweet, like cherry lip balm. He wanted more. 

She pulled away, giggling, “I can’t believe you thought we were dating this entire time. Is this why everyone at the guild called you dumb?” 

“Maybe.” He didn’t care about that anymore, though. He chased after her lips again.

They’ve only been back from their mission for one week before Natsu gets restless again. He wants to go on another one, maybe this time with the entire team, but Lucy insists on waiting, claiming Levy is due any day. Which is fine, he can wait, except he’s so bored. 

He stands, slamming his hands on Lucy’s table. She jumps. “Happy, let’s go train.” 

The cat perks up. “Aye, sir!” 

“Wait,” her eyes peek up from the book she’s reading, nuzzled in the armchair, “you’re leaving?”

“I’m bored, Lucy,” he whines. “Happy’s beat me in dominoes three times already.” 

“Four, actually.” The cat adds. Natsu ignores him. 

“I wanna go,” Lucy says, and Natsu’s about to say she’s more than welcome to, but her eyes flicker to the communication lacrima she got from Levy, “But…” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Natsu grins. “You gotta be on stand-by, I know.” 

“How long will you be gone for?” She asks. 

“I dunno. Few hours, maybe?” 

Lucy’s brow furrows. A tight frown lines her lips. “Few hours?” She questions. 

“Maybe more, maybe less.” Natsu shrugs. It mostly depends on when he and Happy got hungry, honestly. 

Lucy stands, shutting her book with a snap. She hums, nodding, but Natsu can still see a thin line creasing her brow. Unnoticeable to most people, but he’s not most people. 

“It’s okay, Luce,” he says, “you’ve been training with us a lot. It’s okay to take a day off.” 

She smiles and nods her head again, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Doesn’t quite crinkle them the way it usually does. She looks towards the window, sighing. 

“You’re right,” she says. “Maybe I’ll go to the guildhall for a bit; see what ruckus is being caused today.” She laughs, but it sounds a bit forced. Natsu’s concern rises, up through his chest, and usually he can crack Lucy’s moods, but something is off today. Something that’s new and frightening, something that’s disrupting their usual easy dynamic. He looks to Happy, who shares a worried look with him. 

“Are you okay?” Natsu asks before he can help it. It’s not the most careful way to go about it, but he can’t tip-toe around the issue. He never could. 

Lucy looks towards the two of them, shock lining her features. Happy flutters up to her and says, “You’re scaring me Lucy, and not in your normal scary-Lucy way.” 

This brings a genuine laugh out of her, but it’s true; Lucy is being scary right now – for the life of him, Natsu can’t understand her melancholic mood. 

“I’m okay, you dorks.” Lucy reaches out to ruffle Happy’s fur. “Go train; I’m leaving for the guildhall.” 

Before Natsu can protest, she grabs her purse and is out the door. “Have fun; please don’t burn down Magnolia forest. Again.” She calls out, letting the door shut behind her. 

And with that, Natsu and Happy are left alone in the apartment. They look at each other. 

Natsu thinks about running after her, forcing her to tell him what’s bothering her. But that’s never really worked for Lucy. She’s like low simmering pot of water; she refuses to acknowledge anything is wrong, until at last the water bubbles and boils over. 

So Natsu shakes his head at Happy, and grabs his backpack to leave. 

Training does little to qualm the anxious feeling running through Natsu’s veins. As he pushes himself to near exhaustion, he can’t get the worried line of Lucy’s brow out of his mind, or the far-away look in her eyes. He and Happy train for two hours, maybe three, before calling it quits; Natsu’s heart wasn’t really in their training, and he could tell Happy’s wasn’t, either. Their concern over their celestial mage’s mood only grew. 

The setting sun casts an orange glow on the cobblestone as they walk back into town in silence. Natsu’s hand incessantly taps against his thigh. 

“I wonder what’s bothering Lucy,” Happy murmurs. “She’s being weird, and not her in usual weird-Lucy way.” 

“I know, Happy,” Natsu replies, “I’m worried, too.” They arrive at her apartment. From the street level, Natsu can tell the lights are off, and the shutters drawn. His tapping on his leg grows. 

“I’m gonna check if she’s here,” Natsu tells the Exceed. “You wanna check the guildhall?” 

Happy nods, summoning his wings to fly away. “Let’s just make sure she’s okay, okay?” Natsu murmurs an agreement before the cat flies off. 

He jumps onto the windowsill, balancing on the thin ledge. He goes to open the window before discovering, for the first time in a long time, that it’s locked. 

Natsu frowns. It hasn’t been locked in years. 

His fingers fiddle with the edge of the window frame, looking for the slight notch he discovered years ago. Did Lucy forget I used to break in all the time? Natsu wants to snort. He finds the notch, shimmies his shoulder against the left pane, and pop, the lock comes free. He gently opens the window. 

“Lucy?” He calls out into the dark apartment. It suddenly feels very lifeless with the lights turned off and the absence of Lucy’s footsteps. He hates it. 

He hops past the window’s threshold and lands softly on the ground. Best not to startle her, Natsu thinks, just in case she’s sleeping. It’d be an odd time for a nap, but he wouldn’t judge. 

He calls out her name again to no response. Maybe she is at the guildhall, he wonders. But his eyes catch on a form huddled in the armchair, the same armchair she was curled up in earlier. He gently walks over, careful not to disturb her sleeping form. 

And she is sleeping, curled up in her blanket, but as Natsu peers closer, something is very wrong. He smells salt in the air, and sees tears dried on her cheeks. Panic strikes through his chest, sharp and anxious.

“Lucy,” he starts, “hey, Lucy.” He shakes her awake; he can’t wait for her to wake up, no, he needs to make sure she’s okay this very instant. 

Lucy stirs, just barely. “Natsu?” She murmurs, blearily blinking at him. She struggles to do so, her eyelids slightly crusted with dried tears. It breaks his heart, just a little bit. 

“Hey,” he whispers, “wake up, please.” 

She obeys, stretching her arms in her chair. His hands stay on her shoulders. 

“What’s wrong?” She asks him, which honestly, is very Lucy-like, to have cried herself to sleep and to wake up asking him what’s wrong. It’s so Lucy-like it hurts, wrenches his heart and squeezes it dry. 

Without thinking, he licks his thumbs and swipes them across her cheeks, wiping the salt off and smearing it from the air. He can’t stand the smell of it. 

“Nothing’s wrong, Luce,” he says, “why’re you crying?” 

She blinks at him, sleep still dragging her eyelids down. “I’m not,” she says. 

“Don’t lie,” He says softly, “you were crying.” 

At this, she looks away. She fiddles with the blanket in her fingers. “It’s nothing,” she claims. 

Natsu scoffs. Lucy was, and always will be, an awful liar. 

“It’s not nothing,” he says, “what’s wrong?” He wants to shake her, wants to shake a smile onto her face, wants to shake whatever bad thing is making her frown out of this world entirely. 

She purses her lips at him. “It’s just–” Her lip begins to wobble. “I just… I get afraid sometimes.” 

“Afraid?” He murmurs. 

“I get afraid you’re going to leave me again.” Lucy whispers, looking down. She picks at a frayed thread on the blanket. She continues, “And I know, it’s unfair of me to feel that way, to try and keep you by my side all the time.” I want to be there all the time, Natsu thinks, desperately, but Lucy keeps going. “But I just… I can’t handle it again. You and Happy and everyone leaving me behind, all over again. It hurts to think about.” 

And oh, if heartbreak is real, Natsu’s sure that’s what he’s feeling now. Guilt and self-anger take place within his muscles, within his bones, and his chest feels as though it’s being torn in half. It’s my fault, he thinks, it’s my fault Lucy is crying. He can’t even think of what to say as he stares into Lucy’s watery eyes, normally so bright and yet they’re filled with nothing but sorrow. His mouth opens and closes. 

Lucy finally looks up at him. “Don’t look at me like that,” she whispers, “it’s okay. I’ll get over it.” 

“It’s not,” Natsu’s voice comes out as a rasp, “it’s not okay.” His fingers are all but clinging to her shoulders. He can’t bring himself to move. 

“You’re crying,” he continues, “that’s not okay.” 

“You know me, I cry a lot.” A humorless chuckle leaves Lucy’s lips. 

“Listen,” he starts, “I won’t ever up and leave again, I promise, okay?” And truth be told, he had to leave for that year, he had to leave for Igneel, and he hates it and hates how it’s affected her. He hates how if he could go back in time, he would make that same choice. Because he had to. There wasn’t really a choice. 

But leaving nothing but a letter behind was shitty; he knows that. 

 So he can promise her this, now. “Believe me, me and Happy will never leave you like that again.” 

“Okay,” she murmurs, and she doesn’t say it, but Natsu’s quite sure she doesn’t really believe him. 

“Hold on, okay?” And it pains him to leave her, but he pads across the room to riffle through his bag. He’s been waiting for a good moment to give this to her, but he can’t think of anything else to help her believe his promise. He grabs the box tucked within his bag. 

Natsu returns to her side. “Look, I bought this for you a while ago.” Lucy looks up, shock lining her features. He doesn’t give her a chance to speak as he kneels by her and opens the box. Inside is two rings, one a thick band and the other a thin, dainty piece. 

He grabs her hand, sliding hers on. It fits perfectly on her ring finger. The stone gleams in the center of the ring, catching the last few rays of daylight from the opened window. 

“It shows you where I am at all times, see?” He explains as he taps the stone. It lights up, before a low golden light begins to point from the ring towards him. Natsu originally bought it for their missions, in case they ever got separated, but this reason seems much, much more important. “Now even if I did leave, you’d always be able to find me.” 

Natsu looks up to find fresh tears in Lucy’s eyes. He slides the matching ring onto his finger, tapping the stone to show a matching light beaming towards her. 

Lucy throws her arms around him. He catches her, falling back onto the floor. Natsu lays there feeling incredibly guilty as she cries into his shoulder; this was all his fault, after all. He has to fix it, fix Lucy’s fears, somehow. 

“Thank you,” Lucy chokes out, “thank you, Natsu.” 

He doesn’t really know what to say. “Of course, Lucy.” Is all he can offer. He’s never been the best at comforting others, so in the absence of words, Natsu rubs soothing circles into her back. 

Lucy sits up, blonde pieces of hair sticking to her wet cheeks as she stares at her ring. Natsu absentmindedly swipes the strands of hair off, wiping a few stray tears as he does so. 

“It’s beautiful,” she murmurs. And maybe the rings are beautiful, Natsu doesn’t really know (he just trusted the shopkeeper’s advice), but he’s far too distracted by the serene smile on Lucy’s face to give a damn. And he makes up his mind.

It all seemed too complicated before; how to win Lucy’s heart, how to carve a path towards something beyond the borders of their friendship. But Natsu stares at her now, the light shining from the ring softly lighting her eyes, and he knows.

 It’s always been easy. He’s just been too afraid. 

So he leans up, Lucy’s eyes only briefly meeting his for a split second before his lips capture hers. Natsu relishes in the kiss, the feeling of her on his waist, the soft oomf that leaves her mouth as his lips touch hers. He relishes in it even though he’s so afraid, even though he’s sure his heart is about to burst out of his chest. He relishes in it because he’s not sure how long it’ll last, considering Lucy is frozen on top of him. 

He pulls back. Lucy stares at him, eyes wide and watery and cheeks flushed. She stares, and stares, and stares. 

Natsu gives her some time. It’s very Lucy-like to need a moment to process. 

“More,” she whispers, “I want more.” 

He brings his mouth to hers once more, relishing in the fact he gets another one. Her lips are soft against his, hesitant (very Lucy-like to overthink kissing), but after a few stiff moments she loosens up and leans fully into him. Into his mouth, prompting his tongue to brush her lips, a sneaky escapade she willingly allows. It’s all so new, so thrilling, that his veins feel like liquid fire.

“More,” she says, breathing heavy, “More.” 

So he kisses her again, and again, and again, until they’re curled around each other on the floor and breathless from the effort. Natsu kisses her one more time for good measure before planting his forehead against hers. 

“Do you believe me now?” He asks. Lucy nods. She’s much more convincing, this time. 

“Good.” He kisses her forehead, then her cheek, then her other cheek and her chin and her neck until she’s on the floor, giggling from the excessive kisses. She pushes to get him off, and he blows a raspberry on her nose before relenting. 

“Natsu!” Happy’s voice calls, “I couldn’t find Lucy! Did you–”  

Natsu turns to find the Exceed frozen midair, staring at the two of them. For a moment, none of them move. The cat bursts into a grin. 

“I told you it would work, Natsu!” Happy proudly exclaims. 

“What would work?” Lucy asks, sitting up. Natsu pointedly ignores her searching gaze. 

“Flirting, duh!” Happy flies over to the two of them, depositing himself in Lucy’s lap. “I told Natsu he should try actually flirting!” 

Natsu swallows. He wasn’t planning on exactly telling her. So much for being subtle. 

Lucy sighs, clicking her tongue. “I guess I shouldn’t have expected any less.” She grins cheekily towards Happy. “You couldn’t have told him any sooner?” 

“In my defense, I thought I was flirting this whole time,” Natsu grumbles, “I didn’t know I had to act like a character in one of your movies.” 

“You never had to,” Lucy leans over, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “But I’m glad you did.” 

Natsu, far from the first time, decides again that he absolutely hates trains. He kisses the ground one more time for good measure before joining Happy and Lucy on the walk towards the town.  

After a long (and severely nauseating) journey they finally find themselves in a town on the outskirts of Fiore. Natsu, Lucy, and Happy had collectively chosen a mission to “assist the local mages in running out a rather ruthless dark mage.”. In all honesty, Natsu didn’t think they needed the local mages (the three of them could have this wrapped up in no time), but Lucy said something about respecting the local’s wishes and maybe if we use their help, you won’t burn the town down and really, she left no room to argue. 

Lucy leads them to a nice looking inn, a slightly worn but charming Little Lake sign hanging from above the doorway. Lucy squeals to Happy about the tiny stars that decorate the entryway. “Isn’t it so cute?” She exclaims. Natsu doesn’t really care, but he nods along anyway. 

They walk to the front desk and are greeted by a young woman. Piercings decorate her ears, dangling from every inch of her visible earlobes. Natsu’s eyes are distracted by a shiny dragon one that curls around one ear. Lucy greets the woman while he briefly contemplates if he should get some earrings, too. They look kind of badass. 

“We’ll take two rooms, please.” Lucy says with a smile, holding up two fingers to emphasize. 

“Ah, I’m sorry miss,” the innkeeper apologizes, “We’re nearly completely sold out, with the nice weather and all. We only have one room available.” The woman’s face is set in a frown, and it seems as though the dragon decorating her ear droops with her. 

“That’s ok!” Lucy says, waving her hands for emphasis, “We’ll take the one! Your inn is so adorable, I couldn’t help but notice it when we arrived in town.” Lucy tends to ramble when she feels bad, a quirk that’s dragged Natsu into at least a thousand long and boring conversations.

This perks the innkeeper up, who nods enthusiastically. “Yes, isn’t it so cute? You’re just in luck; the one room we have available is potentially our cutest yet!” She eagerly writes down on her ledger, scratching off the last room. “It’s our honeymoon suite!” 

Lucy freezes. Natsu scratches the back of his neck. Happy chortles behind one paw. 

“H-honeymoon suite?” Lucy clarifies, clearing her throat. 

“Yup!” The woman nods, obliviously writing away in her ledger. “You two came just in time!” 

“U-um,” Lucy stutters, “maybe we’ll..continue looking–”

“What’s a honeymoon suite?” Natsu cuts her off. Lucy blinks at him. The young woman obviously rummages through the roomkeys hanging on the wall. 

“It’s.. you know..” Lucy began, “for..two people..” She can’t seem to finish her sentence, her cheeks flushed dark pink. 

“We’re two people,” Natsu says, ignoring Happy’s hey, I’m here! “What’s the issue?” 

“The issue..is..” Lucy shifts from foot to foot, dodging the question and avoiding eye contact. “Um…oh! There’s only one bed! I don’t think we can all fit on a bed,” she rambles. Lucy also tends to ramble when she feels awkward. 

Natsu snorts. Terrible excuse, Luce. “We share a bed all the time.” 

He turns to the innkeeper behind the counter who’s smiling at them. “We’ll take it.” He sets a pouch of jewels down before Lucy can protest. 

The innkeeper hands him the key and happily says, “Last door on the left!” 

Natsu grabs Lucy’s hand, who appears to be frozen to her spot, and leads her and Happy to the room. By all accounts, she’s been rendered speechless, and Happy’s doing a terrible job hiding his giggles. 

Of course Natsu knows what a honeymoon suite is. He’s not that dumb. He just found it much more fun to watch Lucy flounder, her eyes refusing to meet his, and found it even more fun to be in the honeymoon suite. 

He turns to Happy, who gives him a knowing grin. He’s sure the cat would give him a thumbs up, too, if Lucy wasn’t there. Natsu’s not even sure she would notice, considering her eyes are stuck glued to the floor, the blush still high on her cheeks. 

-

After successfully capturing the dark mage, the three of them walk back towards their room. Natsu looks positively bedraggled after diving in the mud to catch Lucy from a particularly nasty kick. The mission itself wasn’t so bad, honestly kind of boring, over in roughly twenty minutes, but they got paid a pretty penny for doing so. And, they even got to keep most of the money, since Natsu did not in fact burn everything down this time. 

Lucy leans over, plucking out a small clump of mud from his bangs. He lets out a little ow as it pulls his scalp. 

“You really didn’t have to dive in the mud for me, dork.” Lucy snorts. Happy rests in her arms, dozing off. 

“Well, it was either that or ya’ would have spent the walk home complaining about the mud in your hair.” Natsu quips. He doesn’t mention that the kick she took scared the shit out of him, and he acted purely on instinct to catch her, not giving a damn about the mud. 

Lucy laughs. She puts the key into the doorway of their honeymoon suite, a light blush on her cheeks as they enter the dimly lit room. It appears housekeeping came by and re-lit the candles on the dresser, setting a warm-lit atmosphere. Lucy, to her credit, manages to ignore not only the candles but the dark red bedspread and various heart themed decor around the place. It was kitschy, but it was growing on Natsu, if only for Lucy’s hesitance to even glance at the love is in the air~ pillow. 

She makes a turn for the bathroom, but Natsu stops her. “I want first shower.” 

Lucy narrows her eyes at him. She appears as though she’s about to protest, but only mutters, “Fine, only because you’re absolutely filthy.”

 Natsu snorts at her thinly veiled disgust. Lucy has had dibs on first shower since the very beginning of their partnership, and it’s obvious it peeves her to have to give it up. But he and Happy have a plan, after all. 

Flirting is an art, Natsu is quickly realizing. And art requires practice and much, much patience. 

So after he diligently scrubs himself clean, paying particularly close attention to the stubborn flecks of mud in his hair, he steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around his waist. And before he can second-guess himself or Happy’s suggestion, he walks out. 

“Finally, you took so–” Lucy freezes. Natsu absentmindedly rubs a towel through his hair, tussling it all over the place. 

“You have to act like in those romantic movies we see on Lucy’s lacrima,” Happy had said. “Wrap the towel around your waist, walk out, and act like you don’t know any better!” 

Truth be told, Natsu didn’t know any better. He was kind of just barging into this one headfirst. 

“Thanks for giving me first shower, Luce.” He says. He looks towards Happy for silent approval, only to find him being squished within the blondes arm. The cat reaches one paw out, eyes pleading for help from the blonde’s deadly grip. “Lushi, please,” Happy begs. 

Lucy’s sputtering, paying no attention to the wheezing cat in her arms as her mouth opens and closes repeatedly. Like a fish, Natsu thinks. 

“Why are you–What are you–Why?” She settles on. Her cheeks are coated in a fierce blush that travels up to her ears. Like a salmon, Natsu corrects himself. 

“Why am I what?” He blinks at her. He rubs his hair one last time for good measure before tossing the towel on the nearby chair. 

“You…You’re..” She refuses to make eye contact. 

“I’m what?” 

“Naked!” She blurts at once. “You’re naked.” 

Natsu blinks at her again. He glances down at his bare torso. He’s not truly naked. That would be ridiculous. Regardless, an idea forms in his head. 

“I’m not naked, Lucy,” He grins devilishly, “unless you want me to be.” He casually loops a finger around the edge of his makeshift towel waistband. 

“NO!” Lucy squeaks out. Covering her eyes, she rushes from the bed into the bathroom, all but throwing Happy onto the bed behind her. “No, I do not!” 

Natsu cackles. He waits until the door closes to ask, “How’d ya think that went, Happy?” 

“Aye sir,” the cat croaks out, wheezing for air face down on the sheets. He grins, putting out a shaky thumbs up towards Natsu, who grins back at him. 

The train ride home is miserable. The only positive is the blush that still hasn’t seem to have left Lucy’s face since Natsu’s stunt with the towel. 

He’s nuzzled in her lap, her fingers dragging through his hair. He steals a glance at her. Her eyes are focused on the window outside, her cheeks seemingly stained pink. She refuses to meet his eye. 

“What?” She asks him. 

Despite Natsu’s current mission of woo’ing Lucy, he still refuses to get his ass outright kicked. 

Recently, Lucy has suggested sparring; normally, Natsu would be more than keen for the prospect, but considering he’s trying to flirt, he’s in a bit of a dilemma as to how to go about that in the arena. The celestial mage, currently in her Taurus Star Dress, is standing across from him.

She taunts him with a waggling finger. “Is that all you really got, Natsu?” And damn, if she wasn’t so sexy while she did it. Natsu forces his eyes back to Lucy’s face after shamelessly checking her out (under the guise of taking in his opponent, of course), and replies, “Haven’t even started yet.” 

He lunges towards her, faking a left jab, before bringing his leg up to aim right for her torso. Lucy’s better than this, he knows that, and she neither falls for the feint nor gets hit by his kick. She lightly bounces back a few steps, before coming at him with a roundhouse of her own. 

Normally, Natsu would have no trouble countering; the issue is, he’s too busy staring at the strong muscle of her thigh to stand much of a chance as it comes straight for his chest, knocking him solidly on his ass. So much for refusing to get his ass kicked. 

“Come on, are you going easy on me?” Lucy whines teasingly as she stands over him, one hand on her hip. Willing himself not to get distracted by the sight, he swings out a leg towards her knees, knocking her off balance and rolling into the dirt. 

“What did I tell you about bragging before I’m down?” They both quickly sprung from the grass at the same time, resuming their circling of one another with fists drawn. Lucy, wasting no time, rushes forward. She feints a tackle, spinning around him to kick the back of his knees, crumpling his legs underneath him. 

“Hey, that’s fighting dirty!” Natsu complains, quickly dodging her follow-up kick as he rolls off the ground. 

“What did I tell you about how I don’t believe there’s such a thing?” Lucy chuckles, backing away from him as she draws her whip. Again, not completely fair; Lucy insisted that she is able to use her whip due to their considerable size and power difference. Natsu insisted that she was strong enough to beat him without it. Like most of their arguments, he lost. 

Lucy flicks the whip against the ground before unleashing it towards him. Natsu jumps out of the way, but it’s not enough; with a flick of her wrist she snags his arm in the wretched thing, pulling him towards her. 

“Not so confident now, eh?” She grins, and Natsu really has to end this spar quickly before the blood he’s feeling pumping in his veins flows south. 

He lets himself be pulled, as always, into her orbit, and before Lucy’s punch lands into his chest he grips the whip in his wrist and pulls her into him. She squeaks, caught off-guard, and he tackles her into the ground. 

They roll in the grass a few moments, grunting and wrestling, before he finally gains the upper-hand. Triumphantly, he pins her hands near her ears. 

“Told you not to brag before I’m down.” Natsu grins. Lucy wiggles about beneath him, struggling to escape, before finally settling down with a huff that messes up her bangs. “Fine,” she concedes, “you win.”

“That makes our score 13-7,” Natsu replies. Lucy sticks her tongue out at him. 

“Since when could you count?” She mutters, which is rude, but Lucy’s always been a bit of a sore loser during these spars, so he doesn’t take it personally. If anything, he laughs at the bitter tone in her voice.

All at once, he becomes too aware of their positioning, the warmth of her underneath his hips and his hands. They’ve been in this position countless times throughout their sparring, yet it seems this is the first time Natsu’s aware of how.. intimate it is. He can’t believe how he’s never noticed it before – his mind is usually tuned into the promising feeling of victory, or despondently wallowing in a loss, but with his newfound grasp of flirting, the position takes on a whole new meaning. Natsu swallows, the feeling quickly becoming overwhelming. He needs a distraction, and quick. 

His fingers dig into her sides.

“Hey!” Lucy shrieks with laughter, “stop it! That’s playing dirty!”  

“I thought you didn’t believe in such a thing!” Natsu continues tickling her, her knees coming up to bump him in the back, but he ignores them. He leans down to blow a raspberry on her stomach, eliciting more giggles. 

Lucy, now with her hands freed, grabs him by the shoulders and manages to throw Natsu off of her. He lands next to her, hard rocks digging into his back, but he doesn’t care because he’s laughing too, and the heat from her stomach is still on his lips. 

They lay there together for a few moments, catching their breath, before Lucy stands. “I’m going home,” she says, and there’s a delicious redness to her cheeks that Natsu’s not completely certain is from the tickling. “There’s dirt in my hair now, thanks a lot.” 

“Well, fighting’s not always pretty.” Natsu stands and begins to follow after her, always following after her. Truth be told, her fighting is always pretty. “Can we get food?”

Lucy snorts. “What else could you ever want?” 

Many things, Natsu thinks to himself, thinks of his fingers in her sides and his mouth on her stomach. Many things. 

“Sooo,” Happy drawled, “how’s the flirting going?” 

Natsu, preoccupied with his fishing line, didn’t answer for a few moments, instead focusing on not hooking his own finger. Once he finally laid the bait, he turned towards Happy. 

“Good, I think.” 

“You think?” 

“How would I know?” Natsu huffs. He’s only been at this flirting thing for a week, and it’s weighing on him. He just wants to take Lucy, shout I love you! We should kiss or do whatever it is they do in your books! But he has neither the exact charm for that (he could imagine Lucy assuming he was joking, and thus, have her feelings get hurt) nor does he have the guts (the thought of doing such a proposal made his stomach twist, and the thought of Lucy rejecting him flat-out made his feelings get hurt.) So, flirting it is. 

“Well, has she snuffed you yet?” Happy asked. 

“Mm, I don’t think so.” Natsu replied, casting his fishing line. He doesn’t think he’s been snuffed yet, at least; Lucy no longer freezes at his touches, and if he’s lucky, sometimes she reciprocates. She still lets him doodle on her, but she ends up falling asleep, and she no longer minds if he ends up falling asleep mid-doodle in her bed, too. All in all, he’s pretty sure he’s kind of killing the whole ‘flirting’ thing. 

“That’s good!” Happy exclaims. He wrangles with a fish for a moment, but it unfortunately gets away. 

“Yeah, good.” Natsu replied. “Now what?” 

Happy pauses. “I don’t really know.” 

Natsu turns to him. “What do you mean, you don’t know?” 

Happy shrugs, a bit dejectedly. “I’ve never really gotten past the ‘snuffing’ stage with Charle. But I think you tell her you love her, and then you kiss!” The cat perks up towards the end, hope lighting his eyes. “You kiss, then live happily ever after.” 

Natsu blinks. “Sounds a hell of a lot easier said than done, buddy.” Because truly, if it were that easy, Natsu doesn’t think they’d be having this conversation right now. 

“To be fair, Natsu, most of your accomplishments sound easier said than done. Just treat it like one of your fights!” Happy chirps. 

“I don’t think Lucy would appreciate me approaching her like one of my fights.” Natsu grumbles. He’d have done that by now if he’d thought it would have worked. Lucy wants someone to woo her, to sweep her off her feet; Natsu knows his limits, knows he’s nowhere near that level of romantic. But he is trying his best. 

“Well, I guess you’re stuck continuing to flirt, then.” Happy says, finally wrangling another fish. 

Natsu casts his line, sighing. Flirting’s not so bad, he thinks, it’s even kind of fun. Because truly, it is; he enjoys seeing Lucy flustered and red and enjoys just being close to her. But the pressure was beginning to weigh on him, making him feel restless, and he had a terrible feeling he might do what he always does and inevitably blow it up. 

It’s Levy’s birthday, meaning Lucy is absolutely drunk. 

In her defense, it’s not really her fault, Natsu thinks; Levy, due to being pregnant with not one, but two babies, cannot drink, and thus, loaded Lucy up with liquor as some sort of proxy-drunk. Natsu can’t really blame her – it’s her birthday, after all. But still, that means he can’t even engage with Gray’s tipsy taunts at him from across the table, too concerned about the stumbling blonde under Erza’s arm as they dance across the guildhall. 

“Oi, flame-brain,” Gray drawls, “you up for another one? Or are you gonna keep staring at Lucy?” 

Natsu scowls. He’s already out 3000 jewels to the on-going game of cards, but he can never just walk away on a loss. He takes one last glance at Lucy before throwing a couple more jewels on the pile. “Whatever, popsicle.” 

The game continues on, Natsu’s pile of jewels slowly diminishing. It’s fine really; it’s mostly something to just pass the time while he waits for Lucy to announce she’s ready to home. She tends to do it in a loud voice when she’s drunk, making sure the entire guildhall can hear it. 

Natsu takes another sip of his whiskey, stealing another glance at Lucy. It can be cumbersome when she drinks, with her clinginess that leaves him flustered and unsure what to do with the blonde, but he never misses an opportunity to watch her while she drinks. She’s so uninhibited, grazing across the floor with Erza, who has now dragged Cana into the mix, that it’s nearly just as intoxicating as the whiskey he’s drinking.

“Hey!” Gray’s fingers snap in his face, “you gonna take your turn, or what?” 

Natsu, yet again, throws down what’s probably another losing card. At this point, he’s going to need to take up at least two missions to recuperate his losses from tonight. Gajeel laughs at his turn, which Natsu doesn’t even take offense to, considering he has no idea what game they're even playing. He’s terrible at cards.

   He turns again to Lucy, watching her stumble through her steps with Cana. The card mage is currently trying to teach Lucy some sort of line dance, which isn’t going too well. Yet, Natsu’s heart clenches; Lucy looks so happy, so flushed as she fumbles through the organized steps, that Natsu throws down his cards on the table. “I quit.” He declares. 

He desperately needs air; the feeling in his chest is too tight, too suffocating that he cannot continue on in the guild hall. He steps outside on the steps, taking in a breath of fresh air. 

It’s always easy being around Lucy. So easy Natsu seeks her out every day, every night, every waking moment. Except when she’s drunk; when she’s drunk, he feels as though he’s drowning, as if he’s the one inebriated. She’s so loose, so unlike her sober self that he feels influenced himself to do wild, reckless things. 

“Hey, Mr. Salamander,” comes the very focus of his thoughts behind him, “why’d ya leave th’ party?” Lucy slurs. He turns to her, taking in her pigtails and very flushed cheeks. 

He says nothing, only turns back to the street in front of him. Even now, he wants to grab her and hold her close. The thought of doing so flashes before his mind, sending his heart aflutter. 

“Heyyyy,” Lucy drawls, “are you ignoring–” she hiccups.”Me?” 

“Hey, Luce,” Natsu grins, pulling her close under one arm. “Are ya having fun?” 

“Yes!” She perks up, smiling. “Would be muuuch more fun with you, though.” She brings a hand to her mouth, yawning. 

“How much have you had to drink?” He asks, rubbing soothing circles into her shoulder. Lucy leans into the touch, wobbly on her feet. 

“Mm,” she begins, “only… about eleven?” 

Natsu sighs. Usually eight is her limit. 

“You feelin’ okay?” He asks. 

“Mm… yes!” Lucy exclaims after a moment. She hiccups before forming her hands into paws at her face. “Look at me! I’m a cat, like Happy! Nyaa!” She giggles. She gives one more hiccup before declaring, “I want to go home. Carry me.” 

Natsu bursts out laughing. Despite his lack of enthusiasm for taking care of Lucy when she’s drunk, she’s admittedly very funny while in the state. 

He says nothing, only crouches down. A second later she hops up onto his back, only a little off-balance, to her credit.

The trudge back to Lucy’s apartment is filled with numerous cat noises, multiple proddings of Natsu’s cheeks, and he’s pretty sure there’s no less than three semi-formed braids in his hair. Getting Lucy home drunk is always a battle, and tonight’s no different. It’s okay, though; the weight of her on his back and her legs wrapped around his waist fill him with a gentle warmth in his belly. 

He hops through the window, covering her head with one hand so she doesn’t get bumped on the way in, and tries his best to lay her on her bed. It’s more of an unceremonious dumping, but she doesn’t mind as she snuggles up. 

“Thank you, Natsuuu,” Lucy giggles once more. She brings the blanket up to her nose, peering at him over the edge with shiny eyes. “Actually, can you bring me my toothbrush? Those last shots were,” she hiccups, “disgusting.”  

Natsu obeys, grabbing his as well. He brings Lucy’s to her in bed, and they brush their teeth side by side. He has to nudge her awake a few times, but he finally manages to lead her to the bathroom with a small hand on her lower back to rinse. 

Lucy curls back up in bed, bringing the blanket to her nose once more. With one last sigh, she peeks out at him with droopy eyes. “G’night, Natsu.” It’s only a few moments before her breathing evens out, and she’s asleep. 

The domesticity of it all brings a pleasant tightening to Natsu’s chest. He wants to curl up right next to her, tuck her into his side, and join her sleeping for the night. It hurts, so, so bad, how much he wants it. 

But he can’t, not right now, so he settles for pushing her bangs back, and leaving a soft kiss on her forehead. One she most surely will forget, but Natsu will not. It’s close enough to Happy’s plan, anyways. He’ll have to skip the I love you portion for now. 

Natsu and Happy are usually, on a good day, pretty smart when they put their heads together. 

Natsu’s not quite sure if today is one of those days. 

“I dunno, Happy,” he mulls, scratching his head, “it seems risky.” 

“Wha’ could go wong?” Happy mumbles through a mouth full of fish. 

Natsu recasts the fishing line. “I think many things, actually.”  He’s not focused on where the hook lands in the water, his mind stuck on Happy’s earlier suggestion. 

“What do you mean, send signals to Lucy?” he had asked.

“You know, like flirting and stuff. Buying her things, like fish!” Happy answered. 

“What’s ‘flirting’?” Natsu had replied. 

Suffice to say, he’s not really confident about the whole premise. 

Happy swallows the last bites of the fish before reaching for his own fishing line. He casts it forward in a big arc, landing much farther than Natsu’s half-hearted attempt. He usually would be jealous of the cat’s fishing prowess, but he can’t quite seem to find it within him to care. 

“I think you’re overthinking this, Natsu. Even if Lucy doesn’t love you back, I’m sure she’ll still be our partner and teammate!” Happy chirps. 

Natsu winces. “Not quite a confidence booster, buddy.” He throws his fishing pole to the side and flops on his back, the rocky dirt pressing into his ribs. 

“I thought I was ‘sending signals’ this whole time.” Natsu huffs. Truthfully, he thought she would get the point by now; he’s always near her, tending to orbit around her presence, the gravity of her being too strong to draw away from. He thinks if there’s such a thing as the center of the universe, Lucy is it. 

“She’s kind of dumb, Natsu.” Happy hums. “It’s why you have to be more obvious!” 

“Well,” he sighs, “what else does flirting entail?” All he knows regarding flirting, based on Happy’s previous explanation, is it’s what those creepy guys who hit on Lucy try to do. He would prefer to avoid getting his ass kicked as much as possible in this endeavor.

“You’re being serious, right, Natsu?” Happy says, eyes not leaving his fishing line. He sounds serious, and Natsu’s a bit confused before the Exceed clarifies, “I don’t want you hurting her by not being serious.” 

Oh. That explains the Exceed’s sudden change of tone, then. Natsu’s chest warms at the sight of Happy protecting their celestial mage, even from him. It should hurt, Happy potentially turning against him, but if it’s for Lucy, Natsu would want him to. 

Natsu sits up, grinning. “Of course I’m bein’ serious, Happy! Flirting seems kind of dumb, but if you think it’s worth a shot, then I’m in.” 

Happy beams back, cheering. “Finally!” Natsu ignores this. “Okay, flirting involves being romantic. You have to be subtle, yet make your intentions clear.” Happy continues, grabbing a stick and attempting to draw out a plan in the dirt below them. 

“What’s ‘subtle’ mean?” 

Happy sighs, scratching out the words he’s written in the dirt. “Forget it. We’re gonna start from the basics.” 

Truthfully, Natsu thinks Happy is a genius. As it turns out, ‘flirting’ is essentially a method (or a justification) to do all the things he’s been wanting to do with Lucy, some of which he has been doing for a while: spending time with her, being affectionate, and his favorite as of recently, being touchy. He’s always been rather touchy, but those were sporadic, random touches, more of an excuse to be close to her in moments he could pass off as unintentional. Natsu’s been a little more deliberate about his recent touches. 

He started off small, a little scared of scaring Lucy off; a brush of her shoulder here, a grazing of her arm there. It’s a little bit odd at first, being intentional with where he wants to touch, yet his confidence has grown upon her lack of refusing him and his curious prodding. It’s nice, really, the tiny thrill he gets from it all.

“It’s your turn, Natsu-san.” Wendy says, across the table from him and Lucy. 

Natsu brieflly shakes his head, a useless tactic concerning his thoughts about the blonde, and looks down to his cards. He regrets tuning out Erza’s explanation of the rules as the small pot of jewels in the middle of the table gleams in the light. He half-heartedly throws down an eight of spades, as he’s eighty-percent sure he’s losing the game, anyways, and sags against the bench. 

Lucy giggles behind her cards at the move, and Natsu doesn’t bother watching whatever move she makes as he snakes his ankle around hers underneath the table. He watches her out of the corner of his eye, feeling her ankle briefly freeze around his before relaxing to reciprocate the touch; the tips of her ears flush red, a light dusting of pink rises on her cheeks, and her unwillingness to make eye contact and tease him over his misplay brings his heart aflutter. Aside from the touches, Lucy’s reactions are probably his second favorite. 

The game drags on, with Gray and Erza debating (arguing) over the rules and whether or not Cana was cheating based on her affinity for card-play, (Natsu brought this up within the first five minutes, but was promptly ignored, and usually he would say I told you so! but with the warm weight of another ankle against his, he can’t really find it in himself to care), as Lucy and Wendy tried to mediate. 

He leans back, throwing an arm around the back of the bench. Here, if Lucy were to stop waving her hands around in her panic to calm Erza down, she would fit nicely into his side. It would be like one of her puzzle’s she occasionally does, and if she were to try sidling into Natsu, she might discover a rather perfect fit. The thought warms him, and he leans his head back to doze off, content with only their intertwining ankles. 

Regretfully, trying to find gifts for Lucy is hard. Natsu’s never really thought about buying her things aside from the necessities, such as covering a train ticket or two, but those were easy to buy. Those were also so he could drag her along on missions, so it was sort of a selfish gift, really. 

He wanders around the shop, overwhelmed as he eyes the different pieces of jewelry strung along on shelves along the walls. There’s lots of options, too many, and he can’t differentiate between any of them. He feels clueless as he tries mentally thinking through what he thinks Lucy would like, and settles on I have no fucking clue. 

“Excuse me, sir, is there anything I could help you with?” Natsu’s started by the shopkeeper’s sudden appearance by his side - he was so lost in his thoughts and subtle panicking that he hadn’t noticed her arrival. 

“Uh, I don’t know, really,” Natsu tells her, “I’m kind of lost.” 

The shopkeeper giggles. “Are you looking for something for a friend, or a family member?” 

He pauses to think. Friend?  

“Not really, but sort of?” Natsu tells her. Lucy is his best friend, but referring to her as that feels a bit less than. She’s also family, but not in the way he views Erza and Gray as family. He doesn’t really know what to call her, exactly. 

“I see.” the shopkeeper smiles knowingly, her ponytail swishing with the tilt of her head. “Follow me.” 

With no other options other than drowning in the too many choices, Natsu follows the woman to the counter displaying many other choices. The shopkeeper, sensing his unease, takes the initiative in pulling out a few rows of necklaces, bracelets, and rings. The pieces all catch the light, shining and dazzling and sort of hurting his eyes.

“Do you know what your ‘sort of’ friend enjoys regarding jewelry?” The shopkeeper asks. 

Natsu shakes his head. 

The shopkeeper hums. “Do you think they’d prefer gold, or silver jewelry?” 

Natsu’s head tilts as he mulls over the question. Silver or gold? He doesn’t really remember a time Lucy ever stated she preferred either or, and he’s not quite sure he’s willing to wager a guess on either one. 

“She loves pink, actually,” Natsu says, looking at the options, “and gold goes nice with her hair.” When he asked the Exceed for advice earlier, he has simply said “Lucy will like anything with thought put into it, Natsu. Maybe try thinking?” A rather rude piece of advice, Natsu thought, but he was pretty sure he was thinking right now. 

“Well, that’s a good start.” The shopkeeper says as she puts the silvered pieces away. “Anything else important about your friend I should know?” 

If Natsu were paying attention, he would have noticed the knowing tone in the woman’s voice, and the kinds of rings he was pulling out. He wasn’t that intuitive, though.

“She’s a kick-ass mage,” he grinned. “Got anything for that?” 

There’s a slight breeze in the air when Natsu makes the leap towards Lucy’s apartment window. It smells of spring – the scent of lilies catch his nose, and he stops himself just short within the windowsill before he knocks over Lucy’s plants. The last time he did that, he was banished to the front door for three miserable weeks. It was awful. 

He carefully manevours around the potted lilies and hops into the apartment. It’s suspiciously quiet, and as Natsu sets down his pack, he turns to see Lucy has decided to take a nap. Usually, he wouldn’t hesitate to crawl under the covers and join her, despite her insistence he not do that, but he’s far too excited from his recent marketplace trip. This is his first time with Lucy alone since he went out shopping, (curse their other friends are are equally prone to breaking in to hangout at Lucy’s,) and he wanted nothing more than to show her her new gifts. 

But as Natsu took in her sleeping form, her arms curled around a pillow and Plue snuggled in the blankets pooled at her legs, he felt an un-characteristic feeling of grace overtake him. He wouldn’t wake her, not yet; she looked far too comfortable and peaceful, her soft exhales blowing strands of hair across her cheek. Natsu would give his sleeping partner mercy just this once. 

He sat on the couch, crossing his arms. He pouts for a good three minutes, eyes flickering from the ceiling, to the bed, to the kitchen, to the bed again, to the coffee table, before finally resting on the bed. Natsu had no other plans for the day, a big ‘FLIRT WITH LUCY’ written in red on his mental calendar, and he was so bored. He wouldn’t wake her, now that he has decided to be a good friend (again, not a suitable word) but what else could he do? 

His eyes snag on a brown marker on her desk. An idea forms in his head as he casts another glance to Lucy’s bare arms around the pillow. 

Stealthily, Natsu grabs the marker and tiptoes over to the bed. He plans on doing only a few doodles; nothing much, not enough to fully wake or anger her, just only a few. To cure his boredom. No other reason. 

Natsu uncaps the marker, the scent of ink wafting through his nose, and puts a finger to his mouth to mime “shhhh,” to the celestial spirit who curiously poked his head up. Plue yawns, decides this fight isn’t worth taking (again), and curls back within Lucy’s legs. 

Natsu starts off with a few scribbles as he lightly presses the marker into Lucy’s arms. He’s gauging the limits of how asleep the blonde currently is, and as he accidentally jabs a bit too hard and there’s no reaction, he assumes he’s safe. Happy’s usually the one who wakes her, with his lack of patience to control the marker properly, so Natsu plans on indulging himself. When it comes to messing with Lucy, he can be rather patient, he thinks. 

He doodles absentmindedly, flitting between drawings of Happy, different foods, Plue, and sometimes just little squiggles. The whole experience is rather calming; the sun shining through the curtains, the rise and fall fo Lucy’s chest, Plue curled by her feet, and he finds himself actually focusing on making the drawings something Lucy would enjoy, a sharp redirection from his main goal of irritating her just to get her attention. He’s more than halfway up her arm when Lucy stirs, dragging a straight line through his current drawing of an angry Charle. 

“Natsu..?” Lucy sleepily murmurs, bringing her hand up to rub at her eyes. “That tickles.” Her voice is thick with sleep, a heartwrenching detail Natsu usually would be focusing on if he wasn’t scared shitless she wasn’t going to Lucy Kick him out of the window once she saw her arm nearly full of doodles. 

She looks down at the source of tickling. She doesn’t say anything, just continues to stare at her arm. A few moments pass by, Natsu still crouched by her bedside, and he swears this is more torturous than if she just killed him outright. Somehow, her analyzing is more uncomfortable, and he shifts. 

As if remembering he was there, she turns to him. There’s a soft smile on her face. “They’re cute.” 

“Really?” He asks. 

“Yes.” She turns and twists her arm to look at more of the drawings, pointing out a slightly crude one of Loke as a lion he drew. “This one’s even pretty good.” 

He perks up. “I even drew him a tail!” 

Lucy laughs, most likely at his eagerness, but he doesn’t really care. She’s not mad at him, and she even grabs the marker from his hands to draw a little heart next to a fluffy Happy. 

Natsu stands, preparing to grab the gifts for her now that she’s fully awake, but Lucy catches his wrist and drags him onto the bed. He’s about to ask why, but before he can open his mouth, he feels the marker dragging across his skin. He’s silent for a moment, their roles never being reversed before, Lucy never even showing interest in pranks, but maybe this isn’t really a prank. 

Lucy says nothing, focused purely on her drawing. Natsu leans back on his other arm, enjoying the soft sensation of Lucy gripping his hand and the stroking sensation of the marker gently moving across his skin. She’s right; it is ticklish. After a few moments, he feels himself begin to get drowsy. It’s just so relaxing. 

Natsu looks down and discovers dozens of flowers, ranging from lilies to chrysthamums to roses intricately painted across his skin. There’s layers of detail in each flower, vines delicately carving from one to another to connect them all. Natsu’s not exactly an art guy, never cared for it, but he thinks if there’s anything he’d bother going to a museum for, it’d be what’s on his arm.  Lucy’s tongue is poking out in concentration, and he feels his heart give a rather painful thump in his chest. 

He’s not sure if this constitutes as flirting with Lucy anymore. It feels as though he’s spun out of control, his heart hammering in his chest, and it’s scary, he thinks, being on this side of the precipice. It’s one thing to flirt with someone, it’s another to have someone flirt with you. Is she flirting? Gods, he hopes she’s flirting. Natsu wonders if she knows exactly what she’s doing to him in this moment, her hands softly gripping his wrist and his arm to admire her work, and he swallows. 

Suddenly, she brings his arm to his eyes. “Ta da! All done!” 

He forces a laughter past the breathlessness in his chest, past the lump in his throat. “Jeez, really had to knock mine out of the park, Luce.” 

“Well,” she boasted, “I’m rather adequate with a pen in both writing and doodling, thank you very much.” Lucy’s hands are on her hips, a proud smile on her face, and the gifts are all but forgotten about in his brain.