cherie₊˚⊹♡

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about me

hii! welcome to my blog angels! basically all i do on here is write fics about whatever piece of media i can't stop thinking about at any given time. some things i love are my family, french tips, history, comics, my pets, and baking! i love to meet new people and chat, so feel free to reach out (requests or just to yap haha)! xoxo - cherie

(p.s. beautiful borders from @ithemes, @anitalenia, and @suupersonic!)

synopsis: how the dc guys would be with model!reader (hal jordan, barry allen, and wally west!)

notes: this is a silly one, but i think this is such a cute concept (and there are NO physical descriptions, we’re all gorgeous models, ladies <33). also lmk if you wanna see this with anyone else! anywaysss reblogs and comments always appreciated, enjoy! xoxo - cherie

Now playing:「✦Fashion Killa - A$AP Rocky✦」♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။|||||

hal jordan would loveeee the fact that you’re a model. why? not only can he rub it in everyone’s face that he has a girlfriend so gorgeous she gets paid for it, but he gets countless photos of you looking sickeningly beautiful. 

when the two of you first started going out, you hadn’t even revealed your job to him until a few dates in. he wasn’t surprised by any means—i mean, look at you. however, he was shocked in the sense that he couldn’t believe you didn’t tell him sooner. 

“i don’t see the big deal,” you giggle softly, “it’s my job.” 

“are you kidding me? if i had your job i’d tell everyone,” he smiles, shaking his head to himself at how your humility comes to you with ease. 

and, once the two of you are official, he only becomes more obsessed. he’ll call you at any and every shoot, asking to see pictures, asking if you want coffee, asking if they need a hot male counterpart in the photos (he’s teasing, but you know he’d take you up on it in a heartbeat). 

the first time you invite him to one of your shows really should’ve been the last time. despite your countless pleas for him to be polite and, well, normal, considering this was a high profile event, hal still cheered like a maniac once you took to the stage. but, could you even blame him? you’re just too pretty to keep quiet about, he’d say. 

and god forbid you ever have a shoot for victoria’s secret, because those will be the pictures he chooses to keep in his wallet and as his wallpaper. 

“what?” he smiles. 

“you couldn’t choose a photo with more…clothing?” you roll your eyes smiling, amused, but not surprised that this is his favorite. 

“now why would i do that? all they do is hide your beautiful body from me, baby,” he’ll wink, now more determined than ever to keep that as his lock screen. 

~

barry allen sort of views your relationship as a cliche. you’re this beautiful, amazing model, and he’s…well he’s there. he doesn’t ever consider the fact that he might just be very handsome and also literally the flash. no, in his head your the stunning popular girl out of his league, and he’s the nerdy loser who just got lucky. and he couldn’t be happier.

and, while he’s so proud of you, and maybe feels a little ego boost knowing a model loves him, he will find any reason to worry and fuss over you. especially when you’re busy. 

you’ll be in milan for an event one night, settling into your hotel room after a long day of prep for the show. and just as you’re settling into bed, you’ll hear two soft, but unmistakably excited knocks on your door. you smile to yourself, getting up and answering the door, unsurprisingly finding barry on the other side. 

“hi baby,” he smiles, a little sheepish considering he just ran across the atlantic on a wednesday to see you. “i just wanted to check up on you…maybe sleepover?” he asks like you two haven’t been dating for awhile now. 

you giggle tiredly, letting him inside fully before wrapping your arms around his neck to hug him. resting your head on his shoulder, you smile softly saying, “if you wanted to check up on me, you could’ve called, honey. i don’t want you wasting energy just to see me anytime i travel.” 

he scoffs slightly, as if the mere implication that he might not fuss over you is offensive. resting his head atop yours, he replies, “nothing related to you is a waste. now let me take care of my baby…please.” he’ll say softly, yet you both know he’s not leaving room for you to resist. 

you two will end up on the bed, you laying back on some fluffed pillows while he sits a little further down, rubbing your sore feet. you’ve learned that there’s no point in arguing with him once he’s set on caring for you. 

just as you start to doze off, he’ll press a kiss to your ankle before tucking you in. he’ll strip down to his underwear (european hotels need more airflow for speedsters) and crawl into bed next to you, pulling you into his arms. 

he’ll press a soft kiss to your head, whispering an, “i love you,” before dozing off, as well. 

when you wake up in the morning, he’s already ran back to central city, but you’ll find some pastries on the bedside table. next to them is a little note which reads, “good morning, angel! donut work too hard today…(get it!) text me when you wake up, i love you! - barry.” 

~

wally west may or may not have been crushing on you from afar since he saw you on an ad in the mall one day. and yeah, he was there when some villain just so happened to be terrorizing the city you had a show in. and what are the odds he’d end up saving you from the burning building you were about to have your show in? he even got to carry you outside bridal style, all hero like. in all seriousness, it was just a total coincidence, but wally wasn’t complaining one bit. once away from the chaos, he smiled down at you in his arms. 

“you alright?”

“yeah um…you’re the flash.” 

he chuckled softly on the outside, but his inner monologue sounded more like “yes! she knows who i am!” 

once the two of you got talking (and he finally set you down), you both seemed to click almost immediately. the two of you hit it off so fast, in fact, that you’d scheduled a date for the very next evening. 

and, once the two of you started dating for real, wally was even more crazy about you. he’d make sure to remind anyone in the league or any of the titans that he had a model as his girl any chance he could. and, even worse, he’d show up uninvited to your shoots all the time. 

“excuse me, can you ask your…friend to leave, please?” one of the designers would ask you as you get your makeup done. 

you look over at your loving boyfriend, giving you an enthusiastic thumbs up from across the room (where he’s stolen about half of the pastries provided for everyone). you smile softly at him, giving him a little wave before turning back to the director. 

“if i ask him to be quiet can he stay?” 

the director grumbles rolling his eyes, before reluctantly agreeing and walking away to tend to other business. you giggle softly to yourself and motion for wally to come over to you. 

“baby, they’re asking your to be a little quieter,” you smile softly looking up at him from your chair. 

he kneels down next to you so you two can be eye-level. “who, me? i’ve been quiet as a mouse,” he smiles, knowing that’s not really true. In reality, he’d cheer you on as enthusiastically as possible anytime you were posing. “besides, they barely notice me. one of the photographers almost ran into me a few minutes ago.” 

wc: 1.1k

synopsis: you and john fought, but this time he says something that even he knows went too far. 

warnings/ tags: just a little arguing, but this is a sad one :(, john yearning in a way that borders on ooc, emotionally guarded reader, established relationship 

(when he loves you but is unable to show it and also a wizard ok) 

Now playing:「✦A Lot’s Gonna Change - Weyes Blood✦」♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။|||||

while i don’t think he’d be the best partner, i think john constantine would know when he’d pushed you too far. 

you two fought, of course, but this time just felt different. you’d asked, practically begged him to explain why he couldn’t just be a bit safer while working on his cases. you engaged in similar work to his, yet you were smart enough to make a decent effort to look before you leap and tie up your loose ends. in your eyes, the way john went about dabbling in the occult was reckless, and it was starting to hurt. 

“don’t you ever think about what could happen? because with the shit you deal with, it wouldn’t just hurt you. think about chas…zee…anyone,” you trail off. you were too prideful to include yourself in that list out loud, but you knew he knew. 

he always knew. 

“what do you want me to say?” he sighs, tiredly falling back onto your couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. he rested his forehead in his hands like this conversation was giving him a migraine. 

“i don’t want you to say anything. i’m just…sick of you being so irresponsible. it’s inconsiderate,” you spit back, walking over to stand in front of him with your arms folded over your chest.

he continues to rest his head in his hands, not daring to say anything. john may have been reckless, but he wasn’t stupid enough to spit back some childish insult at you, now. 

“well?” you urge, feeling your anger and hurt rise up your throat in a burning sensation. 

before you can fit in another word, he snaps his head up to look at you. 

“well? well?! i don’t know what you want me to do. i mean…i put my life on the line everyday to do the things i do and…and this is what i get? you yelling at me for doing what i have to?” 

“oh please,” you roll your eyes. “john we’ve been doing this long enough that you know that’s not an excuse. the way you go about things isn’t just stupid…it’s selfish.” 

“well i can’t help the fact that…,” he trails off with that smug, exasperated grin on his face. 

“you can’t help what john? go on,” you egg him on, frustration lacing your every word. 

he takes a deep breath and looks back up at you. 

“i can’t help the fact that what i do is bigger than all of us...so it’s just more important than you.” 

you go to snap back, but stop yourself the second you process what he just said. you look down at your shoes, chest still heaving with lingering anger, as you repeat his words in your head. 

and, the worst part is, it’s not even shocking. startled couldn’t even properly describe what you’re feelings. no, what you feel deep in your gut is simple, unbridled, excruciating disappointment. 

“well,” you reply after a few moments, quiet in a way that reveals your fatigue. 

the second he looks back up to your eyes, he feels his chest squeeze with guilt. 

“come on, i didn’t…i didn’t mean that,” he starts weakly, quietly. because, no matter how many arguments you got in, no matter how many things you yelled at one another, he’d never said something so callously honest. 

you shake your head softly, averting your eyes out the window, because you knew tears would follow if you saw him again. you simply stare out at the city, dark and quiet, leaving the tension to fill your every sense. 

his blue eyes search your face desperately. while there was definitely a part of truth in what he said, he didn’t mean to hurt you. because, truthfully, despite john’s inability to put anything before his work, if anyone could come close to doing that, it would be you. always you. you’d become so important to him over the past few years—so much so that he’d admitted to himself he may not be able to go on without you, though he’d never tell you that. 

as his eyes drag over your cheek, your nose, your eyes—god, your eyes—he feels his heart ache. you just look so sad—so lost. and the second he sees those beautiful eyes start to glisten with tears, he can’t take it anymore. 

he sits up, gently wrapping his arms around your waist with intention only akin to how you would hold a delicate flower. and john was never one to baby you—he knew you hated that, and he viewed you as much too independent to even wish to treat you that way. however, this time, he knew he’d need to handle you with a new form of care. he wraps his arms around your waist until he can lean forward, resting his chin on your stomach to look up at you. 

“please…don’t cry over me, love,” he pleads softly, trying to coax you into looking down into his eyes. 

and, the second he sees you squeeze your eyes shut in an attempt to quell your tears, he shifts slightly, pressing a soft kiss over your shirt, right above your navel. 

“please…,” he whispers softly, lips still pressed to your stomach. 

“don’t waste your tears on someone like me…you deserve better than this…better than me,” he continues softly, feeling his throat tighten with every ragged breath he feels in your stomach. 

“i just…wish you…,” you choke out softly, finding the combination of your hurt and his lips on your stomach making it too hard to think. 

“wish what, love? tell me…” he coaxes, his usually rough voice sounding almost comically soft now. 

“i wish you just…cared about me like i do…,” you sniffle, resting your head in your hands choking out small sobs. 

you two may have never looked so pathetic together before. with your teary eyes hidden in your hands, and his guilty conscience buried in your stomach. this display of emotion was not normal for either of you—that may have been what made you usually work well together (to some extent). however, something about this felt intimate in a way you’d never explored before, and you knew he could feel it, too. 

he takes one more inhale of your skin beneath your shirt before looking back up to you. seeing you have your face hidden in your hands, he removes his hands from around you, only to reach up gently taking your hands from your face. he holds your hands in his as his eyes finally meet your misty ones. 

“oh, love,” he mutters, almost to himself, as he takes your hands and presses a kiss to both of them. “i care about you more than anything…,” he starts, looking back up into your pretty eyes.

thinking about how matt murdock would appreciate your extensive beauty routine more than most…

it’s a given that he’s a patient man, and i can see matt being the type to not just wait for you, but to sit on the toilet seat in the bathroom so he can be with you the whole time. he enjoys the intimacy of being with you while you get yourself ready for the rest of the world to see. 

of course, he can’t see the makeup you apply or the curls that tumble down your neck, but his heightened senses more than make up for that. 

matt loves the scent of you fresh out the shower. he can smell the way your soap seeps into your pores, mixing perfectly with your natural musk. and he equally adores the lotion you lather on your legs and arms. not only does it smell lovely, but it makes your skin soft like satin. feeling your hands in his after you’ve recently put lotion on is enough to make his head spin. 

he’s also become a bit obsessed with your perfume. you don’t even need to have a signature scent—in fact, i think he might find seeing when you choose which perfume even more enticing. and he can pick up on every note in your perfume, smelling certain ones become stronger as the day goes on. whether you smell like vanilla frosting, cherry blossoms, or sweet balsams, it’s all he can focus on once he notices. 

and, besides his senses allowing him to thoroughly enjoy your lengthy routine, there's just nothing he loves more than to be with you. the two of you are busy, so if spending time together means him listening to you talk and hum to yourself as you curl your hair, he’s more than willing to take a seat. 

i also think that if you were getting yourself ready for a date, matt would like making that a part of the date, too. the two of you will chat and giggle with each other while you apply your makeup. maybe he’ll even bring you some sweet wine or cocktail he knows you like, just to make the night more special. 

and, as much as he loves to just be with you while you doll yourself up, he just as much adores to be there while you get ready for bed, taking it all off.

thinking about how matt murdock would loveee to hear you sing... 

it happened one night by accident, actually. while on patrol, he just happened to be perched atop your apartment building when he heard your voice. you wouldn’t even have to be very good, but he recognized that voice, and something warm blossomed in his chest knowing it belonged to you. 

and maybe when you see him at the firm the next day, he’ll act like nothing happened. besides, he’d never want to embarrass you. instead, he’d keep this little secret to himself, but he wouldn’t restrain himself from indulging in it from time to time. 

and once he’s heard you once, you bet he’ll be listening in for your sweet voice any time he can. whether he’s in your area to run errands, patrol, or even see you, he’s got his ears open just in case you’re mumbling a tune to yourself. 

even when the two of you are quietly pining after one another—neither of you knowing if the other one likes them—, matt develops an obsession with your voice he deems shameful. you’d never told him, foggy, karen, or anyone that you sang. he knew this was something meant for you and you only, and it gutted him that he couldn’t resist listening to you anytime he could. however, matt murdock was never one to let guilt get in the way of what he wanted. 

so, when the two of you finally admit your true feelings to one another, he feels this little secret is something he has to come clean to you about. 

he’ll be walking you home from a date one evening when he finally tells you. 

“hey um…i have something to tell you,” he’ll start hesitantly with his hands clenched in his pockets. 

“i thought we were already past that part,” you smile, looking at the side of his face as you continue walking. 

“not…not that um,” he smiles slightly rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. “i…should’ve probably told you this beforehand but…i’ve listened to you sing…a couple times.”

more like a couple hundred, but matt couldn’t bring himself to humiliate himself further. 

you look at him for a moment, taking in his words. you smile to yourself before laughing softly into your hand. 

“here we go,” he sighs softly to himself. 

“come on,” you laugh softly. “you introduced this like you were about to tell me you had a secret wife and kids or something. i’m just surprised you’d even want to hear me.”

his eyes soften as he lifts his head to look in your direction. 

“why wouldn’t i want to hear you?” he asks softly. 

“i mean, have you heard me?” you laugh softly. 

“frequently,” he responds with a confidence your heart can’t help but flutter at. 

i really don't have many rules when it comes to requests, these are just a few guidelines!

♡ i mainly write for dc characters (john constantine, hal jordan, barry allen, and jonathan crane), but i'm open to anything else! (for reference, i've watched stranger things, ahs, peaky blinders, etc. etc.)

synopsis: what a situationship would be like with the dc guys (hal jordan, kyle rayner, barry allen, and wally west). 

notes: i just love to make them yearn LOL. also fair warning, this is a bit sad (especially barry’s :( & allusions to hookups, absolutely nothing explicit).lmk what you think/ if you would like to see other characters! also highkey inspired by “be like a woman” by chris rainbow..love that song. tysm for reading! 

Now playing:「 ✦ Be Like a Woman - Chris Rainbow✦ 」♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:10

hal jordan was never a man who liked being “tied down,” in his own words. he didn’t like the commitment—the stress that came with a relationship. and after his tumultuous on-and-off relationship with carol, he thought he was done. besides, he liked being a bachelor. he could have fun with as many women as he pleased, what’s not to like? and he thought that was all he needed. that was until you, of course. 

the two of you met at a bar, of course. it started with a tipsy hookup—and that’s really all he intended for it to be. but, when he got a late night text from you the next weekend, who was he to say no? and so that’s how it went, and kept going. 

the worst part of it all was that it really only took a few dates (if you could even call them dates) for him to realize how screwed he was. because, if he was honest with himself, he loved being around you. he didn’t just love how you felt or tasted, no. he loved….everything. your smile, your laugh, your mind, he could go on. the second he realized he was hooked on you, he had to act. 

it all happened one late night. it was a familiar scene to you both at this point—the two of you, tangled up in your bed together, the only light being the moon seeping through your blinds. it was as he was tracing a finger up and down your arm that he posed the question. 

“you ever…think about maybe being more…serious? you know…you and me?” 

your breath stuttered in your chest for a moment, and the second he saw that look in your eye, he already braced himself for the inevitable. 

“i’m just not looking for a relationship right now.” 

and God, those words had been haunting him since. was he okay with it? absolutely not. he was ashamed to say it, but he hadn’t even seen anyone else since your third time seeing each other. he felt so damn pathetic, and to make it even worse, your rejection didn’t even stop him from seeing you. somehow, in his mind, his poor heart would feel better having you at arms length, rather than nowhere near. never in his life did hal jordan think he’d have it so bad for someone who didn’t want him, but he’d stick around for you. because maybe one day you’ll wake up and realize you need him, too. 

~ 

kyle rayner was never much of a ladies’ man. sure, he had become aware of his appeal as he grew older, but he just wasn’t comfortable talking to a bunch of women at once. besides, he didn’t have too much time to date between the corps and his illustrating. so, he was content being alone for awhile. he’d always had more of a “date to marry” mindset, so he was okay with waiting for his future bride. that was until he met you. 

it was by total accident, too. he had needed to get out of his stuffy apartment one night, having been holed up sketching for hours on end. so, he hauled his sketchbook and pencils a few blocks down to a local coffee shop he loved. unfortunately for him, every other person in the city facing deadlines and finals had the exact same idea. he was about to give up before he spotted an empty seat, next to a very pretty girl, by his luck. so, despite feeling a little intrusive, his cabin fever brought his feet over to you. 

“is uh…anyone sitting here?” he asked, motioning to the seat across from you. 

you smiled slightly, shaking your head, “no, please.” 

unfortunately for both of your respective tasks, they were left completely in the dust. you both spent the next few hours simply talking, getting to know each other (even though, for kyle, it felt like you two had known each other for years). in fact, you got to know each other so well that night, that it ended in your apartment. 

and that was all it took. that one night gave kyle all the connection he needed. but, he was realistic, so he allowed for the two of you to go on a few more dates before popping the “serious” question. 

he had it all planned out. luckily, the timing was perfect, as you would’ve been seeing each other for just over a month on valentine’s day. so, he took you out to dinner, got you flowers, the whole nine yards. and once you were back at his place, rather than going straight for the rest of the night, he smiled softly, taking your hands in his. 

“i uh…i know this is fast, but, i mean you’re beautiful. inside and out. i…would you wanna be more serious?” 

you felt your heart ache at his earnest expression, but you couldn’t lie to him. 

“kyle…i’m just not in the place for a relationship right now. i’m…i’m sorry.” 

you could see his heart shatter in his eyes, but he smiled slightly shaking his head. 

“of course...of course.” 

he could wait. he would wait for you, even if it chipped away at his heart knowing he wasn’t the only one you saw. 

~

barry allen knew he was a serious relationship kind of guy, but he really couldn’t help himself. not when you were so beautiful, and kind, and funny, and smart. you were perfect, so barry could set aside his usual standards if it meant getting to see you. 

he had basically fallen head over heels before even speaking to you. the first day you started working for CCPD, barry caught himself fantasizing about taking you out. and could you blame him? you were just so sweet, so pretty. and he needed to make his move before someone else inevitably asked you out first. 

so, within the first week of you working there, barry went up to your desk with a big, nervous smile on his face. 

“hey, you got a minute?” 

and he was stoked when you accepted, if not a little surprised. however, he’d take his win and make the most of it. he did everything he could to make it the perfect date. he might’ve done a little asking around to figure out what food and flowers you liked, just to be meticulous in a way only barry could be. and thank God he was meticulous, because your first date soon turned into an almost weekly occurrence. and sure, did the two of you get physical a little earlier than he was used to? yeah, but he certainly didn’t mind. you were a beautiful woman, and he felt lucky to be the one you wanted. 

and barry was on cloud nine until he was walking home from work one evening. he tended to take a longer route to get home, enjoying the few times he could actually enjoy a walk somewhere. and it was on this walk that he passed a bar you happened to be in. but it wasn’t just you. it was you and another man—another man who had his hand resting on your lower back. you two weren’t exclusive, barry knew that. but that fact didn’t ease his poor little heart’s aching. 

barry wasn’t the possessive type, but seeing you with someone else hurt him deeply. so, he decided that evening to call you, just to clear some things up. 

“hey um…you got a minute?” he asked softly over the phone. he was calling you from his bed, it being nearly midnight at this point. 

“of course, barry. what’s up?” 

“i just…gosh this is hard,” he sighs softly for a moment rubbing his eyes. “do you think we…would you want to be exclusive…soon?” 

your pause on the other end told him everything he needed to know. and your confirmation that you “weren’t ready for a relationship,” just solidified it. but, what could he really do? if he got upset, he’d lose you forever. so, he simply accepted your terms, hung up the phone, and blinked away his tears as he tried to fall asleep. 

he tried not to get attached, but he knew his dreams would be full of you, anyways. 

~ 

wally west only wanted a hookup that night, or so he thought. within a few years, he’d build a bit of a reputation as a ladies’ man. and he was totally fine with that. if being a ladies’ man meant he could see however many different girls he wanted, he’d proudly wear the label. so, when he saw you that night at the bar, he knew he had to live up to his title. 

so, he did what he knew best. he came up to you while you were dancing with your friends, which turned into the two of you dancing together…which turned into him coming home with you. 

and what he meant to be a one time thing turned into an almost weekly thing. and the worst part, was that it was by his own hand. he’d never felt so desperate in his life, as he was the one chasing you down now. wally was used to the girl he hooked up with bombarding him with texts weeks after they’d seen each other, so never in his life did he think he’d do the same. how things change. 

luckily for him, you didn’t seem entirely averse to his advances (even if it took you half a day to reply to him). so, over the next few weeks, the two of you saw a whole lot of each other. wally even took you out on actual dates. and for his own peace of mind, he told himself it was just because you caught his attention, not because he was developing feelings for you. 

and he was able to believe this lie for awhile until your birthday came around. he’d been lucky enough to get an invite to your birthday at some club (which he replied “sure,” to, as nonchalant as he could manage). however, despite his feigned indifference, wally deiced this was his chance—he was going to take things to the next level with you. and so he prepared. he got you a small, but sweet gift, a card, and even flowers he knew you’d like. 

but, old habits die hard, so he decided to show up a little late, just to not appear too desperate. it was around 11 when he arrived, and it only took a few minutes of scanning the club for him to find your party. and God, how he wished he didn’t, because what he saw did something he didn’t know was possible to his heart. 

the second he laid his eyes on you, you were dancing, just like when you first met. but, instead of him this time, it was another guy in his place. wally swallowed hard before turning around and bolting out before anyone could see him. he almost felt nauseous seeing another man touching you like that, even though he knew he truly had no right to. 

it was the next morning when it really sunk in, too. because, around 11 am, he got a text from you. 

“didn’t catch you last night. wanna celebrate tn? ;)” 

it's posted! tysm for your patience xoxo

wc: 1.9k

summary: after months of not speaking to you, jonathan realizes just how much he needs you in his life. and, despite his discomfort, he tries to win you back in the cheesiest, most romantic way he knows you’ll adore. 

notes: okay first of all THANK YOU so much for reading this series you guys!! i’ve had so much fun writing for him (especially just as a shy guy rather than a villain bc i love writing ooc LOL), and i genuinely appreciate your patience and support!! i hope this lives up to the months i’ve been procrastinating LOL xoxo

“so that settled it, in his mind. he loved you, but he could get over it.” 

what a stupid thing to think. and with each passing day, week, and month, jonathan realized just how stupid he was for thinking so. because, realistically, how could he get over you? you were perfect in every sense of the word. you were beautiful, that wasn’t in question. you were funny, bubbly, smart, happy—everything he needed someone else to be for him. but above everything else, you had a heart jonathan couldn’t imagine anyone else holding. to him, no one else was more bewitching, from your soul to your nails. and by God, he was going to make sure no one else even got a chance to have your heart. 

jonathan came to this realization a few weeks before winter break, when everyone was signing up for formal. it was on this fateful day he was walking past the sign-up sheet for the dance—something he was almost certain he’d skip out on. and he would skip it, but when he caught a glimpse of you signing your name, he had to at least take a look. he was just seeing if you were going with anyone, of course. and thank goodness he did look, because he saw your name, with an empty box next to it. 

no date. she’s not bringing a date. he was ashamedly excited to see you weren’t bringing anyone, but more than anything, he was confused. he’d seen guys approach you all the time (it was something he’d become reluctantly accustomed to while you two were together). and he couldn’t blame them, you were perfect. but, to say he was surprised you’d be going solo was an understatement. and through his surprise, he realized just how much he hated the idea of you being with anyone else. in fact, he even hated the idea of other people knowing you were with someone else. jonathan crane was scared—scared of getting in trouble, scared of you not really loving him, scared of your relationship getting in the way of his plans for the future. but now, the only thing he feared was never getting to call you his own again. 

and that settled it. it was that evening he began planning—he was going to win you back. he had to, because the idea of anyone else getting to call your heart their own was simply unacceptable. jonathan knew he didn’t deserve you—goodness didn’t he know it. but you literally lit up his life, so he at least had to try. and try he did. but, he had to be realistic: how could he win back a girl he’d said he didn’t truly care about? he even had the audacity to call what you two had a fling. even the memory of his words was enough to nauseate him. he couldn’t harp on his mistakes, though, because now, all he could do was try. 

~

“doesn’t really seem like you’ve got your heart in it.” 

you blink out of your daze, looking over your shoulder at your friend sat on your bed. 

“i’m just…kinda tired. i might leave early honestly,” you shrug slightly going back to your half-assed makeup job.

“you sure? you just seem upset,” she replies sitting up, smoothing out your dress on the edge of your bed. 

“i’m all good. promise,” you smile slightly, lying right through your teeth. your friend obviously knew you weren’t “all good,” but she knew better than to try and press you for answers. why should she? you’d been so closed off over the past few months. and, despite how clearly sad you were, you had at least done a great job at hiding why. 

because, if you’d decided to ever open up fully, what would you even say? i’m in love with jonathan crane and we had a secret relationship for almost a year that i didn’t tell any of you about and now he doesn’t care if i live or die. yeah, that’s not happening. and as you continue to apply various cosmetics onto your skin, you can’t help but think about how..well…different this year turned out to be. jonathan and you had started seeing each other during the winter of your junior year, and now, a year later, you weren’t even on speaking terms. and, despite the fact you tried to get over him—and you really did try—you just…couldn’t.

jonathan was weird, even you couldn’t deny that. he was quiet, a bit awkward, a little too intense sometimes, but he was jonathan. your jonathan. and, even though you were truly angry with him still, you really did have to stop yourself from calling him every night since. you hated this, but you missed him. no, you needed him. but, he was far gone as far as you could see. 

you shake your head softly, hoping that will somehow scare those thoughts away, as you continue your makeup. 

~ 

the clock on your nightstand reads 7:45. your friends bustle around your room, adding hairspray and perfume wherever it’s already loaded on in an excited preparation for the formal. you’re at your vanity making some last minute touch-ups when you hear it. is that-

“do you guys hear that?” your friend asks, snapping out of her frenzied primping. you furrow your brows slightly, trying to listen for where that music could be coming from. 

“maybe it’s the neighbor-“ 

“no way,” your friend’s eyes widen, looking out your window. she doesn’t even continue before you’re up and walking to your window. and once you look out, you’re somehow more surprised than she is. 

because there he is. jonathan crane, outside your window, doing the thing he said he never would. 

~

“isn’t that romantic?” you smiled softly snuggling closer to him in the bed of his old truck. 

he scoffed slightly, all the while tightening his arm around you. he leaned in closer, pressing his lips into your hair, “it’s a little much, don’t you think?” 

“i think it’s sweet,” you smiled softly, watching Lloyd play “In Your Eyes,” for Diane on her lawn. 

“sweet…and completely unnecessary,” he smiled slightly. “you know i love you, i’d never have to do something so ridiculous to prove it,” he pressed a kiss to your head. 

~ 

and here he is, doing something so ridiculous to prove it—just how much he loves you. and you can barely believe what you’re seeing. 

“jonathan? what are you…,” you try to search his expression from the upstairs window of your room. 

he goes to say something, before realizing how loudly he’d been playing the song. he mouths a quick, panicked apology before pausing the song, setting the speaker down. 

“i…,” he starts, shouting up to your window even through his nerves. “i love you. damnit i love you so so so much and…i can’t stand not seeing you everyday anymore.” 

you don’t even notice the shocked looks on your friends faces. but you don’t care, you could explain later. before you can even stop yourself, you push past them, running downstairs and outside until your right in front of him. 

once you’re both face to face, you just look at each other for a moment. after a few moments, jonathan clears his throat, speaking in a much softer tone now that you’re so close. 

“i can’t even put into words how sorry i am. i was a coward. a stupid, selfish coward. and i don’t even have a good reason i just…it’s like after so long i finally realized what other people would see here,” he motions between the two of you. “i mean you’re…you’re unreal. and i’m…me. it didn’t make sense in my head that…when you said you loved me, you meant it. so..i did what i do best. i ruined it. i ran away hoping that’d save me from hurt but….i really just hurt both of us. and i’m so so-“ 

“you have no idea how much you hurt me,” you start, trying to overcome the simultaneous tears and underlying excitement you feel seeing him. and he sees the weight of your emotions, so he nods softly, prompting you to continue. 

“you said what we had was a fling like…like it didn’t matter. jonathan you mean…you meant the world to me. and you just..left me.” 

you can see his heart shatter in his eyes as you describe your feelings. once you finish, he goes to pull something out of his pocket, a piece of paper. he looks down at it for a moment, before shaking his head softly crumpling it up. 

“i um..i wrote you a speech,” he scoffs slightly, embarrassed by his own actions. he takes a deep breath before looking back to your eyes. 

“listen,” he begins, searching your eyes for answers as he speaks. “you’re too good for me. i know that, trust me. you’re..i mean come on. you’re the prettiest girl in the world…you’re smart, funny, outgoing. you’re everything anyone could want to be. so um…i know you could do better. but…please…i’m begging you…please just let me try and prove to you how much i love you. because…i swear on everything i’ve ever cared about…i need you….and i love you. so so so so much…” he finishes, and you swear you see him blink back a few tears. 

you have to think for a moment. he really did hurt you. he dumped you in the worst possible way. but…you knew jonathan. you knew what he was dealing with everyday. you knew he could overthink, and you knew sometimes he’d act out of fear alone. more than anything though, you knew just by looking into his eyes, that he was telling the truth. 

“i love you too…,” you almost whisper. before you can even get another breath in, he scoops you up in his arms, hugging you tight enough to crack a rib. but you don’t care. you wrap your arms right back around him, burying your face in his shoulder. 

after a few moments of simply basking in each other’s arms, he pulls back just enough to look into your eyes. he smiles softly, wiping a stray tear from under your eye. 

“good. i didn’t ruin your makeup either.” 

you smile slightly furrowing your brows. “what’re you talking about?” 

“we’re already late enough as it is. i don’t wanna keep everyone from seeing their winter formal queen.” 

~ 

“did you actually write a speech for me?” you giggle softly looking to him next to you. it’s well past midnight now, the dance having ended awhile ago. now it’s finally just you and jonathan, walking along the river, hands intertwined. 

he smiles slightly, a little embarrassed. “i uh…i know how much you love those rom coms so…i tried a few different tropes out. decided on say anything in the end.” 

you smile softly shaking your head. “and to think, you called Lloyd stupid for doing that. and you did it in front of my friends, too,” you tease. 

he smiles slightly to himself before stopping for a moment. he turns to face you completely, cupping your cheeks in his hands before pressing his lips to yours in a soft, sweet kiss. 

once he pulls away, just enough so that he can speak softly against your lips, he replies, “i get now that he wasn’t stupid…he was just incredibly, embarrassingly, painfully in love.”